Caporegime
It was a starting point, previous profile was brutal i tell ya, same kind of stuff but i say it straight off, you can ask Steedie !
Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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OMG I just got a reply, after the 5th Read/Deleted message of the day, 6th times the charm obviously lol. Now, the big question, will she reply to my reply.
p.s. I know it's pretty pathetic to come on here with OMG etc etc, but I'm actually shocked lol.
Heh, is she nice?
Caporegime
Anyway time for bed.
Anewbe4u, sorry if i caused offence with the first draft. It was so good it stuck in my head after i read it and when i wrote it.
Note to self, don't use hot girls, FACT and tit in the same sentence, or i might get sued personally.
Anewbe4u, sorry if i caused offence with the first draft. It was so good it stuck in my head after i read it and when i wrote it.
Note to self, don't use hot girls, FACT and tit in the same sentence, or i might get sued personally.
Depends on what sort of girls you find attractive lol.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member7450669.htm is her profile though, seen it pop up a few times, but never bothered to send a message as she is Manchester based, but I'm moving my prospects out further afield lol.
Caporegime
LOL, direct her to my profile
edit - she is pretty in a way but i don't find her attractive personally. Some emo/goth are hot, she's not my type............i am still far too picky ! lol
No worried mate, I clearly overreacted. I put it down to it being quite late at night after a long hard day.
Ok here, at last, here is the profile of a friend I er... know really really well that seems to be getting lots of replies using it:
Yes, I know the initial section isn't the most amazingly or bitingly worded piece, but I found that to appeal to a wider audience it had to be toned down and simplified a little in order to get the right balance of tone. Seems to have worked.
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About Me
Hmm ok well I think this site kind of highlights the problems with the whole online dating scene. Let me explain...
From what i've seen there seem to be two main types on here... the people who are using online dating because their looks/personality mean they have real trouble getting any attention (or keeping it) in real-life... and the second are those who get attention, but are seeking that elusive, unrealistic and in-all-likelihood-doesn't-actually-exist "perfect match". The former will actively message people and reply to all messages (hey, they're grateful to get them), whereas the latter will analyze each and every profile in the most critical way possible, picking fault with the slightest thing and deleting messages unanswered from people who don't meet their Nazi-strict criteria.
As people keep messaging me to tell me there is of course a third type of person, those who are perfectly normal and are just here because they find difficulty meeting people they like, but you're in the minority, and not as much fun to write about, so put a sock in it.
Now don't get me wrong, online dating is worth a try if all else is failing you, but I just get the feeling that it can't and never will replace meeting someone in real-life for the first time. It can't compare with getting that feeling when you first meet eyes with someone on the street or in a pub... that impossible to explain rush that goes to your stomach as you lock eyes for just longer than could be taken for a casual glance. In contrast, dating sites are turning into the coldest dens of unromantic hell we have. We spend time clicking through a series of profiles all promising the same tired old spiel: "I'm a really nice person", "i'll be faithful", "I have the greatest sense of humour", "my friends say i'm mad"... well thank you for being like every other single person on this site, your genericness is now complete and it's now next to impossible to differentiate you from anyone else. After seeing this complete mass of samey, characterless profiles, it then all then boils down to who can take the most tarty, myspac.e-esque picture, who looks like they're ready to step out of a magazine, or who just looks plain cool enough to be gifted with your attention. We all brush people off on this site just from reading their profile, guys and girls that may in real-life be some of the sexiest, most charming and interesting people we've ever met... yet we disregard them in an instant simply because some stupidly minor and unimportant detail in their profile "puts us off". The decision-making process is simplified and diluted to the point where it all becomes shallower than a puddle in Iraq.
Ok I fully realise i've just alienated a good 90% of this site (possibly not a bad thing) who will read this without really understanding it and think I have huge problem with the whole thing, but you couldn't be further off the mark if you tried. Ok yes, i'm a little cynical about the whole online dating thing, but i'm as willing to give it a shot as the next man... I just thought I may as well stop trying to compete with every other numpty on here by writing the same lame and tired old crap that everyone and their dog is writing, and just say it as I see it. Plus I like to make amusing and sarcastic observations about things, it keeps me happy.
If you actually made it to the end of the page (difficult, I know) and want to dig a little deeper... then you'll find me a confident, sexy, fun and interesting bloke. Intelligent and quick-witted, doing pretty well for himself, who enjoys life and likes to keep himself in shape by being a bit of a gym bunny. I like going out pubbing, clubbing, and a broad range of indie/rock/dance music. I'm also a bit Northern (without sounding like a coal miner), with a bit (ok, a lot) of a sarcastic, cheeky and mischevious sense of humour, which may explain my up front and occasional bluntness. Look forward to hearing from you...
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BUT Y DONT MEN TREAT ME RITE?
This is to all the women who write and complain that they keep getting "messed around by playas" all the time and who "don't know what's going wrong"... well let me explain it to you quickly and concisely: you have **** taste in men, go for the same type of absolute knobber each every and time like a moth to a flame without learning from your mistakes, and you are in all likelihood a bit of a doormat that men find it difficult to respect, hence why they treat you like garbage. Sounds harsh I know and i'm sorry... but someone had to say it!
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THOSE TESTIMONIAL THINGS:
Seriously people... what the chuff is up with these testimonials that some of you have on your profile? I've seen a few now, and each time I read one I think a little part of me dies. I mean honestly, if the person you're writing about was SO good-looking, SO fantastically amazing, SO funny and SO god/goddess-like that their very presence give you a small burst of multiple orgasms... and they apparently feel exactly the same about you... then WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU WITH THEM. Almost as bad are the ones that have got their friend to write how great they are in a way that just makes you want to cry. Seriously, seeing those nauseating testimonials is probably the biggest turn-off since I once accidentally conjured an image in my head of Lisa Riley wearing only a pair of high heels covered in marmite. Ugh.
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WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NO STRINGS FUN? PLEASE? I'M BEGGING YOU...
Ok so what is it with this horde of desperate blokes on this site filling up womens inboxes with what amounts to begging for sex? Well guys, what you're doing is effectively making it about 100x harder for the minority of blokes on this site who aren't just here to get a quick fumble with some random bird on the internet. I mean seriously... if you're THAT desperate for a shag please just go down to your local dive of a club on a friday or saturday and hang around the dancefloor until the end of the night when almost everyone who doesn't look like Quasimodos ugly ginger stepchild (ie: not you) has paired off, and only the true hardcore slappers are left looking to cop off with anyone with a pulse and penis... job done! Now please... stop with the hasle, it's no wonder so many women on this site are twisted ice-b|tches from hell with the amount of grief they must suffer from gimps like you lot on a daily basis.
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First Date
As much as i'd love to say that I would take you on a horse-drawn carriage accross Narnia surrounded by an honour guard of fairies and weird animals with three eyes, the harsh reality is that it will likely be a nice pub somewhere on planet Earth, more specifically in West Sussex or London. However, look on the bright side, I can afford to buy you a drink, maybe even two... and not many men in Kazakhstan can boast that.
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Yes, I know the initial section isn't the most amazingly or bitingly worded piece, but I found that to appeal to a wider audience it had to be toned down and simplified a little in order to get the right balance of tone. Seems to have worked.
Caporegime
That is a Mission Statement, good one at that.
Man of Honour
Nice work Rich. 
I like the gym bunny thing - obviously I can relate to it being a bit of a meathead myself
This is getting more and more tempting, but unfortunately I don't feel I have it in me...
I like the gym bunny thing - obviously I can relate to it being a bit of a meathead myself
This is getting more and more tempting, but unfortunately I don't feel I have it in me...
Nice work Rich.
I like the gym bunny thing - obviously I can relate to it being a bit of a meathead myself
This is getting more and more tempting, but unfortunately I don't feel I have it in me...
DO IT!
Man of Honour
hahaha - I'm not very good at the "selling myself" stuff - I find a face to face encounter much easier (once I get the bottle to talk to them, or have been introduced through friends) for selling myself. I usually make people laugh and can be quite witty and admitedly innuendous in my humour but on paper I suck at selling myself! It's probably a bit of nonchalance too - almost a sense of "I can be ****ed"... even though it could be quite fun. The more I hear of people succeeding on here the more it tempts me... but the thing is I don't know if I'd take it seriously or not!
Ok here, at last, here is the profile of a friend I er... know really really well that seems to be getting lots of replies using it:
Yes, I know the initial section isn't the most amazingly or bitingly worded piece, but I found that to appeal to a wider audience it had to be toned down and simplified a little in order to get the right balance of tone. Seems to have worked.
That's the simplified version!
Christ it's like reading war and peace
Fair play to it working though.
Here's me thinking I went on and on on my profile.
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Man of Honour
Just go for it man and stop knocking it before youve tried it.
I'm not knocking it mate - I'm just knocking myself... (no not in that way!!)
Soldato
That's well written. Might want to look at the amount of comma in it. But have you written much before? I enjoyed reading it but then again I'm a big hairy guy so I guess we can't hook up
Qudos. You made me laugh and you wrote exactly what I think. I think.... I think I love you
Qudos. You made me laugh and you wrote exactly what I think. I think.... I think I love you
Soldato
Just come out on the lash one night, I'll hook you up You would have liked the French chicks from Camden I met on Saturday, haha!
Soldato
I'd prefer a bit more colon action in my piece to be honest. What do you write? I assume prose?
RichL I wish it was as simple as having someone take you out on the lash
I end up enjoying the lash and banter too much and forget about what I was doing in the first place sigh.Has anyone had success yet of those who have recently signed up? Or is it more of the 'it's not you it's me' kind of thing?
I'm tempted but can never come across that well on paper sadly
Just can't seem to do myself justice.- Status