oh i lucky for some !!!!
Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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oh i lucky for some !!!!
Soldato
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- 16 Nov 2003
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- On the pale blue dot
Myths of profile pictures on the OKCupid blog, interesting read:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/01/20/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
Short version: girls with MySpace angle photos get more attention
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/01/20/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
Short version: girls with MySpace angle photos get more attention
Broke up with my gf of 2 Months today. We met on PoF. Lovely girl overall and exactly what I was looking for however, she had a couple of issues that appeared after we started to get serious.
No way forward as a couple so we broke up. I'm really gutted, as is she, but it just wasn't going to work
No way forward as a couple so we broke up. I'm really gutted, as is she, but it just wasn't going to work
Feel free to get them off your chest.
As soon as she realised she was falling for me her defences went up and she became very cold. In the past every time she got close to someone they let her down so she would litrially push them away.
We were supposed to be going away for a couple of days. Drove all the way to the hotel, checked in, checked out and drove back. We had 7 hours to talk in the car so I know it's a genuine issue. I've known something was off for just over a week but didn't want to push. Her mum, dad and brother all gave me the heads up around the same time as they hoped I'd be the one who broke the cycle.
We've shared how we feel about each other and while we both don't want things to end we know it's not going to work. I asked her if she needed time but she actually believes she needs to talk to someone about it, to get to the route of the problem.
She's been honest with me, told me as soon as it became an issue and is as gutted as me.
We're just not meant to be together at this time
Soldato
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I stand by my statement previously that "They are all nuts"
Looks like Scubascorpion was right then
can't you offer to go with her to see someone about this problem? like relationship counselling or something? but of course, depends if you think she is worth the time and effort and whether you think it will actually work out in the end or not......but she actually believes she needs to talk to someone about it, to get to the route of the problem.
She's been honest with me, told me as soon as it became an issue and is as gutted as me.
We're just not meant to be together at this time
The problem is that in the end of the day we have to be realistic in knowing that even if she does get help to trust people again, it's not going to fix the next relationship. If they next guy decides to drop it and run then it will start the cycle again. She will however need to learn not to get too close whilst being able to maintain some sort of relationship, allowing more time to build trust and actually getting to know your parner. Asking them if they think it can be taken more seriously or not.
Even if you reach all these points in a "relationship", both parties will never know how they will feel a week, a month, a year down the line and suddenly the urge to want to leave can happen at any time.
If people fall for the same trap time and time again they are not growing or learning how this "game of life" works.
I've been in enough to avoid Dramatic/clingy/needy/over bearing/voilent/relentlessly unforgiving/bipolar/pyschotic/depressive/hormonal excuses/parasitic/pessimistic/self destroying/I'm going to cut myself because you're going on holiday with your friends/Task Master like women.
This leaves very few people, I'd rather be picky than take anything, but I really can't put up with much fuss these days, if people are going to get into constants mood for taking things what their mind percieves as the bad way even after explanation, they can go.
There's spending time and effort on someone you love, then there's futility.
I've been unlucky in not actually having someone decent enough to fight for, rather fight with.
Associate
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- 7 Nov 2005
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- Southampton, UK
I'll agree that there a lots of weirdos on there, but then it's free, it you don't want the weirdos pay for a site.
But personally I found it good for dating so far. Had a date last night (that didn't end in a one night stand!), got on really well, bit of a kiss at the end of the night and seeing her again next week. Win.
I did offer and we talked about it. She believes putting me through this wouldn't be fair. I'm a very loving person while (at the moment) she's the complete opposite. The more I support her the more she pushes me away.
The problem is that in the end of the day we have to be realistic in knowing that even if she does get help to trust people again, it's not going to fix the next relationship. If they next guy decides to drop it and run then it will start the cycle again. She will however need to learn not to get too close whilst being able to maintain some sort of relationship, allowing more time to build trust and actually getting to know your parner. Asking them if they think it can be taken more seriously or not.
Even if you reach all these points in a "relationship", both parties will never know how they will feel a week, a month, a year down the line and suddenly the urge to want to leave can happen at any time.
If people fall for the same trap time and time again they are not growing or learning how this "game of life" works.
I've been in enough to avoid Dramatic/clingy/needy/over bearing/voilent/relentlessly unforgiving/bipolar/pyschotic/depressive/hormonal excuses/parasitic/pessimistic/self destroying/I'm going to cut myself because you're going on holiday with your friends/Task Master like women.
This leaves very few people, I'd rather be picky than take anything, but I really can't put up with much fuss these days, if people are going to get into constants mood for taking things what their mind percieves as the bad way even after explanation, they can go.
There's spending time and effort on someone you love, then there's futility.
I've been unlucky in not actually having someone decent enough to fight for, rather fight with.
Wise words. In the weeks we were together I've learned a great deal and grown as a person. I needed that even if the outcome wasn't what I wanted.
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So she's doing to you what she's afraid of happening to herself?
Yes. As odd as it sounds.
Funnily enough theres enough weirdos on the paying sites as well
...well either that or i have this amazing ability to attract them.But at the moment am very happy with the current missus...got lucky on girls date for free i guess...shes sexy, hip and smart as hell...just what i am looking for in a partner...coming up to 3 mths soon
But at the moment am very happy with the current missus...got lucky on girls date for free i guess...shes sexy, hip and smart as hell...just what i am looking for in a partner...coming up to 3 mths soon
Congrats mate
It's 11 months in a week's time, and we got in contact on POF a year ago tomorrow.
Great stuff mate
Wish some of your luck would come my way!
Not necessarily true but also expectations are a lot higher when you are paying. If girls are paying they want Gerard Butler or it's not happening.
I don't agree with that in large.
I find the paying sites attract a better quality of girl, than the free sites. The girls I've been tlaking to on match etc are far better in terms of standards than POF (both on looks wise and standards to a degree).
For example, I had 3/4 different people talk to me on POF, three of them are students, the other is a banker (cashier dolly I believe), whilst on match I have been talking to a Surgeon, A Nurse, a Teacher etc...
I don't find their expectations differ any more than other sites, I think it just weeds the majority of time wasters out.
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