Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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gambitt said:
Women always get more messages than men because men are far more likely to make the first move.
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I've had 384 inbox messages and last time I checked I'm a man :p

I don't for one minute think it's because I'm a Brad Pitt look alike however it seems my profile comes across as being very genuine, so I've been told.

edit.. And most are skanks lol
 
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I'm on PoF and I get the same, if I message someone I get *read* *deleted* and no one ever messages me, and i'm not being modest or anything but I wouldnt go as far as saying i'm ugly or have a rubbish job/education!
Women are just really picky! Thats my arguement ha ha!
 
Orange Peel said:
True but it also makes them think they've got a foot in the door. I've put a polite note at the bottom of my profile which says if I read your email and don't reply it's because I don't think we're a match and don't want to waste your time.

Worked very well so far.
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If someone took a reject as a foot in a door then that is there problem, I only suggested that people should reply out of kindness as they took the time to write to you. Fair enough if you want to add a note at the bottom that you won't reply unless interested.

MisChief said:
this depends on how many messages a person gets and chooses to ignore/delete. and what if the person replies back and starts asking why i'm not interested? then would it be rude for me to not reply, or shall i spare a few more seconds to reply again and explain my reasons for not being interested? all these seconds will add up depending how many messages you receive. i was once kind enough to reply and say i wasn't interested, but got a response back saying 'its cos i'm black right?'
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Starting to go off subject a bit, If someone takes the time to send you a message I believe they should get a reply back. If you have 300+ messages then check it more reguarly. If you don't have the time to check it more often and let your inbox fill up then why are you even bothering to look for someone?

In the whole "what if they ask why I rejected them" I would just reiterate the previous email and say thank you for getting in touch with me but I don't think we would be suitable.

It goes both ways really, give and take.
 
.Lethal said:
If someone took a reject as a foot in a door then that is there problem, I only suggested that people should reply out of kindness as they took the time to write to you. Fair enough if you want to add a note at the bottom that you won't reply unless interested.
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Nice ninja edit ;)

Initially I did reply to everyone. However when you say something like "Thanks for emailing however I don't think we're a match" etc their next email is almost like they've ignored that and I've given them the green light to star the 'getting to know each other' process.

I've also mentioned prefering to meet someone who doesn't have children and a none smoker but still get numerous messages from women saying they've read my profile but thought they'd give it a shot.
 
Orange Peel said:
Nice ninja edit ;)
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I didn't want to go off the point I was trying to make.

I kinda said the same thing in my comments to MissC, if they reply thinking they have there foot in the door when you politely thank them, and let them know you are not interested then it is there problem, not yours. I haven't said reply to every single email you ever get. What I suggested people "should" do is at least thank them, and move on.

I never did the internet dating thing, so perhaps my points are "in an ideal world" but I would have at least replied back.

In the case where people ignore your preference then in that case you would have reason to ignore them. Keep it profesional, but nice.
 
.Lethal said:
I didn't want to go off the point I was trying to make.

I kinda said the same thing in my comments to MissC, if they reply thinking they have there foot in the door when you politely thank them, and let them know you are not interested then it is there problem, not yours. I haven't said reply to every single email you ever get. What I suggested people "should" do is at least thank them, and move on.

I never did the internet dating thing, so perhaps my points are "in an ideal world" but I would have at least replied back.

In the case where people ignore your preference then in that case you would have reason to ignore them. Keep it profesional, but nice.
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I'm not going to thank people who've sent "hey u letz chat" or "Hi how are you?" as it means they've not bothered to read my profile and have just spammed me.

Also, I've had many emails from women who have commented on how polite and refreshing my 'disclaimer' is :)
 
Tetsujin said:
Just have a read of this before you fall into the trap of for-pay online dating, chap.
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Sure I understand how it all works. I was going to pay for 3 months which works out at just under £40 which I can afford to lose if it doesn't work out. I figure that because of the effort involved to get a profile up on the site (a friend has to do it for you), more people on there will be serious about it and actually pay up say compared to Match.com.
 
Orange Peel said:
I'm not going to thank people who've sent "hey u letz chat" or "Hi how are you?" as it means they've not bothered to read my profile and have just spammed me.

Also, I've had many emails from women who have commented on how polite and refreshing my 'disclaimer' is :)
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pff

I am talking about replying back to genuine people who make a proper effort to get in touch. Not troll's or people who don't even bother to read your profile, I'm sure I said in previous post if people don't read your preference properly then they don't particuarly warrant a reply.

If you couldn't figure that out it's no wonder you're single :D;)

End of the day (people don't seem to get what I am saying now) is that if someone makes a GENUINE mail to you, reads your profile and puts some effort in, then I would "hope" to see that person reply back regardless of the outcome.

Off top now: This thread is full of x site is bad etc etc and the same generalisations, it is you lot who make these websites what it is.

Perhaps PoF should have a built in feature where you cannot read any email until you respond to the first email you get. It could be a box you press "Yes reply now" and "Thank you, but I am not interested".
 
.Lethal said:
It could be a box you press "Yes reply now" and "Thank you, but I am not interested".
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if they had that option then i probably wouldn't have closed my account!

i think it's sometimes better to say 'nothing' than to say 'no'
what's worse is when somebody writes you a long message, then you reply with one sentence to say you're not interested. they receive your message thinking 'omg a reply!!!!!', then after reading, they are disappointed and feel like they've wasted their time. why not just let them be disappointed to begin with, without putting their hopes up before the disappointment?
 
.Lethal said:
pff

I am talking about replying back to genuine people who make a proper effort to get in touch. Not troll's or people who don't even bother to read your profile, I'm sure I said in previous post if people don't read your preference properly then they don't particuarly warrant a reply.

If you couldn't figure that out it's no wonder you're single :D;)

End of the day (people don't seem to get what I am saying now) is that if someone makes a GENUINE mail to you, reads your profile and puts some effort in, then I would "hope" to see that person reply back regardless of the outcome.

Off top now: This thread is full of x site is bad etc etc and the same generalisations, it is you lot who make these websites what it is.

Perhaps PoF should have a built in feature where you cannot read any email until you respond to the first email you get. It could be a box you press "Yes reply now" and "Thank you, but I am not interested".
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Now you've explained yourself I fully agree.

FYI the reason I'm single is because I'm enjoying dating numerous good looking women and don't want to settle down any time soon. I was in relationships from 16 to 31 so I'm having some fun for the time being :)
 
twoblacklines said:
"Hi, I am John. I have a 160 IQ, I am a billionaire and want to spend it all on the lucky lady. I aim to please, have no backbone and would love to be a slave. I dont mind if you cheat on me, after all i am only here to make your life easier. I look gorgeous (see pics of ripped muscle model type man) and i drive a supercar thats perfect for ferrying you and your friends around. My perfect date would be going to dinner, buying you £1000 champagne which you can drink whilst I drink water whilst you decide if i am still good enough to message back next time i message you instead of just "unread deleted"." lol
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Nearly there but I think you need to add:-

"You will never need to cook/clean again as I love all domestic chores. Even though you're too lazy to ever cook for me you'll be treated to a banquet whenever you come around.

I'm also a dab hand at DIY and gardening so no need to ever do that again even though you say how much you love both of these pastimes. You can be as "dull as ditchwater" as you've got boobies, luckily I make Sir Ranulph Fiennes look like a boy scout"

;)

HEADRAT
 
Mailman86 said:
Sure I understand how it all works. I was going to pay for 3 months which works out at just under £40 which I can afford to lose if it doesn't work out. I figure that because of the effort involved to get a profile up on the site (a friend has to do it for you), more people on there will be serious about it and actually pay up say compared to Match.com.
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Not in my, quite literally personal, experience ;)
 
MisChief said:
if they had that option then i probably wouldn't have closed my account!

i think it's sometimes better to say 'nothing' than to say 'no'
what's worse is when somebody writes you a long message, then you reply with one sentence to say you're not interested. they receive your message thinking 'omg a reply!!!!!', then after reading, they are disappointed and feel like they've wasted their time. why not just let them be disappointed to begin with, without putting their hopes up before the disappointment?
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Open notepad, type polite 2 line response along the lines of "Thank you for taking the time to write to me, unfortunately.... etc" and save it. When receiving said message from person who has made an effort, open notepad, copy, paste and press reply. Most decent people will probably very much appreciate it over being ignored.

Complicated stuff obviously.
 
MisChief said:
328 to be exact, but including replies (in case you're wondering how i know - i did a search for 'plentyoffish.com' in my email inbox and it told me how many messages there were..) hence my reason for not replying to every single message out of kindness to say i'm not interested (instead, i just simply deleted my account to put everyone out of their misery :p)
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328 in 3 months!? Even I'm surprised at that.
 
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