Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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elmarko1234 said:
I've added an example of what I'd have put,

I've added what I'd put, just keep it light & jokey.

To be fair, you didn't say anything bad - she just sounds like a terrible conversationalist, so you will have to give them things to work with on a plate.

If they continue with stupidly short & boring messages then I'd move on - unfortunately some women rely entirely on looks & can't hold a decent conversation (I'm sure the same is true with some men).
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I liked the assless chaps part, made even me, a hetrosexual male smirk a bit!
 
elmarko1234 said:
To be fair, you didn't say anything bad - she just sounds like a terrible conversationalist, so you will have to give them things to work with on a plate.

If they continue with stupidly short & boring messages then I'd move on - unfortunately some women rely entirely on looks & can't hold a decent conversation (I'm sure the same is true with some men).
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I think the problem is (not sure if its this area or a generalised thing) that most women seem to think they are something soo special any man will have them (I know there are men that feel the same, but I would say a lessor amount) which in the real world they can probably get away on looks alone, but online, you need to have a personality too to backup the photo.
 
paradisiac said:
I think the problem is (not sure if its this area or a generalised thing) that most women seem to think they are something soo special any man will have them (I know there are men that feel the same, but I would say a lessor amount) which in the real world they can probably get away on looks alone, but online, you need to have a personality too to backup the photo.
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Yeah, I have seen this.

Also you will get some people (men & women) who are objectively not much to look at & have pretty boring personalities - who then expect to get the best looking man/women in the world with an amazing personality.

I've seen men & women turn down people who are much better than I'd expect them to get, due to waiting for somebody they would be punching from the conference to the premiership.

Very odd.

Delusions of grandeur along with a number of positive cognitive bias's.
 
elmarko1234 said:
Also you will get some people (men & women) who are objectively not much to look at & have pretty boring personalities - who then expect to get the best looking man/women in the world with an amazing personality.
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this is soo true. I wouldn't class myself as ugly. and I have never in the past had any problems with women. but online dating is an odd world. it would appear people think that the best looking, most exciting person is going to turn up any minute and dismiss everyone just in case.
 
Guys if you want to have a perspective of what you're up against on POF set up a fake profile as a girl for a few days. It is complete and utter madness but very educational.

With the amount of drivel girls get sent, you really have to make extra effort to stand out. I think funny is the only way to go. Compliments and idle chat are completely redundant.
 
paradisiac said:
ok, so can someone help. I message people, get a reply, message back, get a reply and this goes on for 3 or 4 messages back and forth, then BAM! nothing. everything seems to be going ok. and then they just go offline then when they come back online they never continue the conversation or contact me again. surely it cant be send opening message, get reply, insist on meeting up :confused: its not even like the messages are out of the ordinary. its normally asking what they have been up to that day things like that.

this is my last convo :

Her : u look really young in ur pics do u have any others ? thank u for ur message luvvie x

Me : I dont have any with my short hair. but yeh, I dont look 29, which I guess is a good thing.

Her : Yea deffo im not good with these sittesat all so i appoligise x

Me : yeh they are really unnatural, so much easier talking to someone face to face. I suppose the only thing in my favour is you cant see my little grey patches in the pics :p How are you?

Her : lol haha :) aw im doing good thanks and u ? x

Me : not too bad. just got in from work so gotta do something for tea. been a hot day, then as soon as I finish work it goes cloudy. always the way.
what you been up to today?



and then that was it, no reply or contact since. where did I go wrong?
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Yeah, because grey patches are... sexy? :confused:

I'm wondering when you (and others complaining of lack of success) in this thread will realise that you have two or three messages to make an impression on a woman, and that you need to make them count. Talking about making a cup of tea and your grey patches, is about as fun for a woman as watching paint dry, possibly even worse. The fact you don't seem to realise this is even more worrying.

I recommend going back to real-life dating for a while... go speed-dating or something, anything where you can put yourself out there in real-life, because I don't think you're coming across as well in written form as you probably do in person.

paradisiac said:
not just POF, I have had the same from all the sites I have been on. I think its just women in certain areas like attention but soon move on.
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If you have had the same on all sites you have been on, then something should tell you that it's not necessarily the women who are at fault. Not being harsh, just realistic.
 
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Richdog said:
If you have had the same on all sites you have been on, then something should tell you that it's not necessarily the women who are at fault.
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or maybe just the women around here have extremely unrealistic expectations, as the same ones are on there month after month very actively. so either they just like the online chat aspect, or they are looking for something that just isn't out there.

im pretty sure I have said all along that I am a lot better face to face than online. but if they give you nothing to work with, then it doesn't exactly help.
 
Richdog said:
Yeah, because grey patches are... sexy? :confused:

I'm wondering when you (and others complaining of lack of success) in this thread will realise that you have two or three messages to make an impression on a woman, and that you need to make them count. Talking about making a cup of tea and your grey patches, is about as fun for a woman as watching paint dry, possibly even worse. The fact you don't seem to realise this is even more worrying.

I recommend going back to real-life dating for a while... go speed-dating or something, anything where you can put yourself out there in real-life, because I don't think you're coming across as well in written form as you probably do in person.



If you have had the same on all sites you have been on, then something should tell you that it's not necessarily the women who are at fault. Not being harsh, just realistic.
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Check out the stud! Get off your high horse. I'm pretty sure he was having a little joke there about grey patches.

I had some success with these sites last year and talked to plenty of women who disappeared like this, they are simply not that interested and chatting for the point of it most of the time.
 
TheMeekon said:
Check out the stud! Get off your high horse. I'm pretty sure he was having a little joke there about grey patches.

I had some success with these sites last year and talked to plenty of women who disappeared like this, they are simply not that interested and chatting for the point of it most of the time.
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He is right though. Except I'd say you have one message to make an impression and then need to keep her interested.
 
well my mundane chat hasn't seemed to of put off this new one :p been 2 days now and she has agreed to meet up. I suppose it depends on the person. im not really a going out clubbing and living the exciting life, so come across as boring. find a similar person and get along fine. hopefully it continues.
 
TheMeekon said:
Check out the stud! Get off your high horse. I'm pretty sure he was having a little joke there about grey patches.

I had some success with these sites last year and talked to plenty of women who disappeared like this, they are simply not that interested and chatting for the point of it most of the time.
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Sigh, this is exactly what I am talking about... people just don't seem to click.

I know it was a joke, you know it was a joke, his pet chinchilla probably knows it was a joke. But re-read what I said... you have two or three messages to sell yourself to this multitude of attention-deficient women with 5000 guys in her area to potentially message or get messages from, many of which probably have better photos than you have, which on the shallowest level means they have to say less impressive things than you to get her interest, and you have to say more impressive things than they do to compensate. Do you seriously, honestly, genuinely think that they want to see even light-hearted messages about grey hair, which they immediately and subconsciously associate with old age and fading masculinity... of all the puns you can think to make in this world that's the one you deliver?

We are not (especially on POF) generally talking about the cream of the UK's lady crop here; we are not talking about people that as a rule veer to the flippant and ironic side of life, or people that even pick up on the subtleties of the written word. Target your audience, understand what they likely want to read, and write accordingly. Worry about being ironic about your looks later when the hook has been set.

The FACT is, that if you have been on multiple websites, and had no luck getting past the initial conversation stages, then you are not appealing to the fancy, ideals or imagination (however loosely the term may often be applied) of the opposite sex, and the reason for this is rarely just looks unless you really were unlucky enough to fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch, which I haven't seen much evidence of in this thread, and certainly not with paradisiac.

But sure what do I know... I obviously have zero experience with this, i'm just some epic stud on his mile high horse. ;)
 
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Richdog said:
Sigh, this is exactly what I am talking about... people just don't seem to click.

I know it was a joke, you know it was a joke, his pet chinchilla probably knows it was a joke. But re-read what I said... you have two or three messages to sell yourself to this multitude of attention-deficient women with 5000 guys in her area to potentially message or get messages from, many of which probably have better photos than you have, which on the shallowest level means they have to say less impressive things than you to get her interest, and you have to say more impressive things than they do to compensate. Do you seriously, honestly, genuinely think that they want to see even light-hearted messages about grey hair, which they immediately and subconsciously associate with old age and fading masculinity... of all the puns you can think to make in this world that's the one you deliver?

We are not (especially on POF) generally talking about the cream of the UK's lady crop here; we are not talking about people that as a rule veer to the flippant and ironic side of life, or people that even pick up on the subtleties of the written word. Target your audience, understand what they likely want to read, and write accordingly. Worry about being ironic about your looks later when the hook has been set.

The FACT is, that if you have been on multiple websites, and had no luck getting past the initial conversation stages, then you are not appealing to the fancy, ideals or imagination (however loosely the term may often be applied) of the opposite sex, and the reason for this is rarely just looks unless you really were unlucky enough to fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch, which I haven't seen much evidence of in this thread, and certainly not with paradisiac.

But sure what do I know... I obviously have zero experience with this, i'm just some epic stud on his mile high horse. ;)
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Morgoth said:
Listen to Richdog, he is spot on.
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I have never disagreed with anything said. I have openly admitted I suck with the whole online thing, as I am much better face to face. maybe with the online thing as it doesn't feel natural I over think things and cant get my personality across.

as for the looks thing, hell no, im not ugly by any stretch :p also by no means overly attractive either, but I feel I fit into the category of acceptable.
I get plenty of views of my profiles, but getting messages from people is impossible, and once I do get a message I find it hard to carry it on. especially as most give short answers with very little to work with, and if you don't have a direct question in every message they don't reply.

overall I think its 50% my lack of personality in written form (and poor photo ability) and 50% the women on these sites think they are going to find the 'perfect' guy which in every day life would be well out of their league.
 
Well after god knows how many years of being on and off POF........


I have found "the one"
Not exactly an Internet date but the way the world turns is a funny old thing!
Twitter started it when I offered to fix a damsel in distress's car that had broken down...
In turn she invited me to a regular charity dinner
In turn i met the founder of the charity who's a Christian
At a church service I was apparently recommended as good mechanic by that christian friend.
From there this new random 44 year old woman contacted me, I fixed her car, she wanted to take me out for a drink to say thanks...
I ended up taking her for dinner... :D
Two months later here I am typing this! :eek:

POF profile DELETED and long may it continue!!
 
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Fuzz said:
Well after god knows how many years of being on and off POF........


I have found "the one"
Not exactly an Internet date but the way the world turns is a funny old thing!
Twitter started it when I offered to fix a damsel in distress's car that had broken down...
In turn she invited me to a regular charity dinner
In turn i met the founder of the charity who's a Christian
At a church service I was apparently recommended as good mechanic by that christian friend.
From there this woman contacted me, I fixed her car, she wanted to take me out for a drink to say thanks...
I ended up taking her for dinner... :D
Two months later here I am typing this! :eek:

POF profile DELETED and long may it continue!!
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is she the one you were worried wouldn't put out a few weeks back?
 
Fuzz said:
Well after god knows how many years of being on and off POF........


I have found "the one"
Not exactly an Internet date but the way the world turns is a funny old thing!
Twitter started it when I offered to fix a damsel in distress's car that had broken down...
In turn she invited me to a regular charity dinner
In turn i met the founder of the charity who's a Christian
At a church service I was apparently recommended as good mechanic by that christian friend.
From there this woman contacted me, I fixed her car, she wanted to take me out for a drink to say thanks...
I ended up taking her for dinner... :D
Two months later here I am typing this! :eek:

POF profile DELETED and long may it continue!!
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I want to know more about this twitter bit...

You were reading twitter on your phone I take it, at home? or whilst driving? :p

Then decide to drive to said broken down car for free?

I guess this person is semi famous or is a friend that you follow on twitter?
 
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