Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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How do people get on with this? I started last year and quickly got 2 dates. First was awful and second was great, but she just ignored me after I took her to see Dylan moran and suggested going out for dinner 1 then 2 weeks later.(this was based on her enthusiasm on the night, plus she was my type)
I just started again and still see the same old pictures I did last year and have messaged most of the profiles I'm interested in and 99% don't reply and 98% don't even view my profile. I've only been on POF and okcupid so far. My profile lists my interests and I just have a kooky abstract profile listing my personality. I think you can gleam a lot about me by putting all 3 'interests/aboutme/first date' together and my 3 pictures show me in the best light so I'm at a loss on how to proceed.
Any tips?
I just started again and still see the same old pictures I did last year and have messaged most of the profiles I'm interested in and 99% don't reply and 98% don't even view my profile. I've only been on POF and okcupid so far. My profile lists my interests and I just have a kooky abstract profile listing my personality. I think you can gleam a lot about me by putting all 3 'interests/aboutme/first date' together and my 3 pictures show me in the best light so I'm at a loss on how to proceed.
Any tips?
Soldato
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because it is in essence a dating website, so they will assume at some point you will want to date.
well talking about POF yes.. on the sites im on its just "social network" nothing else really..
Hmmm "friends" you say? I seem to be having trouble with that. Made it clear to a few people that I only want to be friends and nothing more, but they just don't seem to take no for an answer and keep hounding me.
Guy 1: Been ignoring him for almost a month now. Before I started to ignore him, I made it clear that I didn't want anything more than friends and he said he completely understands. His constant texting got too much so I decided to stop talking to him. He still texts now... even though he's just talking to himself. Crazy.
Guy 2: Had 3 dates with this guy before I decided to tell him I want nothing more than friends. He went away for a few months then messaged me out of the blue again recently. "Fine we'll be friends" I thought and went out for a friendly meal. The way he talks suggests he wants something more though.
Glad to have deleted my POF account now
Guy 1: Been ignoring him for almost a month now. Before I started to ignore him, I made it clear that I didn't want anything more than friends and he said he completely understands. His constant texting got too much so I decided to stop talking to him. He still texts now... even though he's just talking to himself. Crazy.
Guy 2: Had 3 dates with this guy before I decided to tell him I want nothing more than friends. He went away for a few months then messaged me out of the blue again recently. "Fine we'll be friends" I thought and went out for a friendly meal. The way he talks suggests he wants something more though.
Glad to have deleted my POF account now
im not socially awkward, just well, i don't like upsetting people, so wanted advice on the nicest way of saying 'i like you and all, but i have found someone better than you, so lets just me mates if that's kool'
obvs that statement was not what i would say
Just be honest and say what you feel comfortable saying. No need to agonise over what you think they might want to hear in this instance, just behave like a gentleman and tell them nicely that you're not looking for anything from them. Obviously might want to wait until your "favourite" turns into something with a chance of success though.
well talking about POF yes.. on the sites im on its just "social network" nothing else really..
So in other words not relevant to this thread about dating. Anyway, cool story bro.
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So in other words not relevant to this thread about dating. Anyway, cool story bro.
thats because im not into dating yet!
im fine chatting with girls and that is enough for me right now.. if i want to take it further there's nothing really stopping me there either.. no need for POF or dating sites in general thats because im not into dating yet!
Not into dating? Just broke up from a bad relationship then? Or still under legal age?
Soldato
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Hmmm "friends" you say? I seem to be having trouble with that. Made it clear to a few people that I only want to be friends and nothing more, but they just don't seem to take no for an answer and keep hounding me.
Guy 1: Been ignoring him for almost a month now. Before I started to ignore him, I made it clear that I didn't want anything more than friends and he said he completely understands. His constant texting got too much so I decided to stop talking to him. He still texts now... even though he's just talking to himself. Crazy.
Guy 2: Had 3 dates with this guy before I decided to tell him I want nothing more than friends. He went away for a few months then messaged me out of the blue again recently. "Fine we'll be friends" I thought and went out for a friendly meal. The way he talks suggests he wants something more though.
Glad to have deleted my POF account now
yeh, this was my worry. i hate being rude or upsetting people, so just binning them off seems mean, but then if you go down the whole 'lets be friends' route you are walking into dangerous territory.
i am starting to wonder what is going on though. i went to serve a customer and im pretty sure she was flirting with me. the world has gone mad i tell you.
Hmmm "friends" you say? I seem to be having trouble with that. Made it clear to a few people that I only want to be friends and nothing more, but they just don't seem to take no for an answer and keep hounding me.
Guy 1: Been ignoring him for almost a month now. Before I started to ignore him, I made it clear that I didn't want anything more than friends and he said he completely understands. His constant texting got too much so I decided to stop talking to him. He still texts now... even though he's just talking to himself. Crazy.
Guy 2: Had 3 dates with this guy before I decided to tell him I want nothing more than friends. He went away for a few months then messaged me out of the blue again recently. "Fine we'll be friends" I thought and went out for a friendly meal. The way he talks suggests he wants something more though.
Glad to have deleted my POF account now
i guess it just sounds simple in my head..
like me trying to be friends with my ex and her blocking me everywhere and now bragging how guys want her
Soldato
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Just be honest and say what you feel comfortable saying. No need to agonise over what you think they might want to hear in this instance, just behave like a gentleman and tell them nicely that you're not looking for anything from them. Obviously might want to wait until your "favourite" turns into something with a chance of success though.
im assuming being on a dating site my favourite will accept the fact i will be testing other candidates aswell and be cool with that
If you just went ahead and stopped with the self-derogatory comments and instill a little self-belief you would probably find a lot more women flirted with you.
Have you not got any "jack the lad" guy mates? I don't mean someone to go out with to get you laid, I mean someone who can take you out a few times with the specific aim of just talking to women. After the first couple of awkward nights finding your feet you'd start to feel more comfortable as you get it into your head that sometimes women do react nicely to attention, and it will make you feel good.
Soldato
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i have no friends at all. my ex wife made me move away from them all and i was at home with the kids so never socialised. i have acquaintances from work, but no one i would socialise with out of choice.
noo i don't get awkward face to face, that i can do, i can do it quite well in fact
its the online stuff i have issues with as there is time to think, nothing is done on impulse, and if i do try to act on impulse its too late and i have no way of adjusting it like i would face to face.i have no friends at all. my ex wife made me move away from them all and i was at home with the kids so never socialised. i have acquaintances from work, but no one i would socialise with out of choice.
noo i don't get awkward face to face, that i can do, i can do it quite well in fact
Then for gods sake man, go out and get some friends, im serious. Join a sports or hobby club, anything to meet some mates, because life is far too short not to enjoy your youth and you will find that mates open up another world of social opportunities, including ladies.
Soldato
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i know, its been 8 months now and i need to get it sorted. just need that little bit of motivation to follow something through.
i think a change in attitude has helped. the last 8 months (Well probs a lot longer) were horrible, but now i think im getting there. and well, with a few little ego boosts from some pretty ladies and i will back as mr sociable like i was 8 years ago.
Right then, I've decided to finish off my profile on POF later for some critque or ridicule from OcUK (I've tried to take in what people have said so far to other people in this thread, but whether it shows is another matter!) so I'll post a link when its done!
(I've tried to take in what people have said so far to other people in this thread, but whether it shows is another matter!) so I'll post a link when its done!
Soldato
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Right then, I've decided to finish off my profile on POF later for some critque or ridicule from OcUK
good luck with it. just remember you are you, so don't try and be anyone else. just put your own personality on it. take the advice onboard but use it in a way that shows you.
I'm back on POF after coming back home from Uni and not having much to do over the summer....
It's rubbish in London I'm trying my best not to sound big headed, but I consider myself to be (and I've been told that I am) quite an attractive guy, and my profiles pretty casual. When I was on the site when I was down South I would get a reply with 1 in every 3-4 girls. I've literally sent out about 30 messages and heard back from 1 girl! Surprised at how much harder it is here, although I guess it's down to there being so many more people, girls must get loads more messages too! Girl I'm talking to is pretty cool though, a student too, so we got something in common there.
Just interested mate, but what social site do you use?
It's rubbish in London
I'm trying my best not to sound big headed, but I consider myself to be (and I've been told that I am) quite an attractive guy, and my profiles pretty casual. When I was on the site when I was down South I would get a reply with 1 in every 3-4 girls. I've literally sent out about 30 messages and heard back from 1 girl! Surprised at how much harder it is here, although I guess it's down to there being so many more people, girls must get loads more messages too! Girl I'm talking to is pretty cool though, a student too, so we got something in common there. thats because im not into dating yet!
Just interested mate, but what social site do you use?
Not into dating? Just broke up from a bad relationship then? Or still under legal age?
yeah a month or so ago! so just taking my time to chill out, sort my self out(finding it easy even after 2 years!) and ill be back in the game
not an english one.. its full of eastern european girls which is what i like.. i just don't get on with girls from anywhere else.. they don't seem to get my jokes and i don't find it interesting to chat with them either
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