Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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nah its just a thing in my head.. i really cant hit on girl that has a BF.. its that simple.. even if she tried to hit on me i would probably block it..
I tried out POF earlier this year
I got talking to this one particular girl, arranaged a date was going well until I asked her over text to tell me more about herself (by this point it was going well)
The reply I got was shocking, her dad was in prison for allegedly setting fire to her mums car, she was still in love with her ex boyfreind who ironically is in prison for arson,
Any normal people out there?
I got talking to this one particular girl, arranaged a date was going well until I asked her over text to tell me more about herself (by this point it was going well)
The reply I got was shocking, her dad was in prison for allegedly setting fire to her mums car, she was still in love with her ex boyfreind who ironically is in prison for arson,
Any normal people out there?
I got quite close earlier this year as I had three on the boil at the same time and ended up with nothing at all 
'V' was a bit of a geeky girl but she was good fun to talk to and we had a lot in common, we'd text daily and speak on the phone every few days and she was very keen on meeting up. However she just stopped replying to my texts, eventually she replied saying she 'needed some time alone' - I told her if she ever wanted to talk I'd be happy but I never heard from her again. No big loss, there's two others right?!
'A' was a lunatic, she seemed vulnerable (not a trait I find particularly attractive) and needy, she'd keep texting me until I replied which got annoying. She sounded like a right chav on the phone and seemed more interested in telling me what a **** her ex was that actually talking to me. Not sure why I spoke to her again but the next conversation was about her stillborn child which was pretty grim and the fact she wants a baby and doesn't care if she's in a relationship - I kept my distance and a few weeks later I find out from her facebook that she's a couple of months pregnant and the dad doesn't want to know. Deleted from facebook, counted that one as a lucky escape.
'S' was the most promising out of the lot, she was really good looking and seemed to share my hatred of the general public which will always go down with me. It was the first time she'd done online dating and seemed pretty nervous so I was patient with her, because she was 50 miles away and worked weekends, it took a couple of months to get something sorted. She agreed/promised to keep Sunday free to meet me in London for the morning, we were texting the day before and she stopped replying which was fine as she was at work - I dropped her a text in the evening just to ask what time she wanted to meet up and where, I heard nothing. I get this on the Sunday we were meant to meet:
As she'd already messed me about a little bit the week before I got a bit indignant with her - she text me later saying that I was wrong for making her feel bad about it and she'd done nothing wrong despite apologising earlier.
Then there was nothing, back to square one. Hopefully now people will understand why I am so cynical of the whole thing. One thing I have learnt from this is not to wait for so long before meeting and just get it sorted, unless they want your babies before the first date.
'V' was a bit of a geeky girl but she was good fun to talk to and we had a lot in common, we'd text daily and speak on the phone every few days and she was very keen on meeting up. However she just stopped replying to my texts, eventually she replied saying she 'needed some time alone' - I told her if she ever wanted to talk I'd be happy but I never heard from her again. No big loss, there's two others right?!
'A' was a lunatic, she seemed vulnerable (not a trait I find particularly attractive) and needy, she'd keep texting me until I replied which got annoying. She sounded like a right chav on the phone and seemed more interested in telling me what a **** her ex was that actually talking to me. Not sure why I spoke to her again but the next conversation was about her stillborn child which was pretty grim and the fact she wants a baby and doesn't care if she's in a relationship - I kept my distance and a few weeks later I find out from her facebook that she's a couple of months pregnant and the dad doesn't want to know. Deleted from facebook, counted that one as a lucky escape.
'S' was the most promising out of the lot, she was really good looking and seemed to share my hatred of the general public which will always go down with me. It was the first time she'd done online dating and seemed pretty nervous so I was patient with her, because she was 50 miles away and worked weekends, it took a couple of months to get something sorted. She agreed/promised to keep Sunday free to meet me in London for the morning, we were texting the day before and she stopped replying which was fine as she was at work - I dropped her a text in the evening just to ask what time she wanted to meet up and where, I heard nothing. I get this on the Sunday we were meant to meet:
As she'd already messed me about a little bit the week before I got a bit indignant with her - she text me later saying that I was wrong for making her feel bad about it and she'd done nothing wrong despite apologising earlier.
Then there was nothing, back to square one. Hopefully now people will understand why I am so cynical of the whole thing. One thing I have learnt from this is not to wait for so long before meeting and just get it sorted, unless they want your babies before the first date.
Hmm reading Janesy's post about 'S' made me think back.
Can MisChief or someone else with an 'inner track' as to how a girl's mind works, please explain to me: how a girl can be 110% engaged (face-to-face chats, texts, steamy texts, calls etc) in events leading up to meeting a guy for a 1st date, then seemgly overnight have a complete change of heart?
I realise this isn't just related to internet dating, but I've always wondered. I've never been at a loss for a date (go me) but even this phenomenon has happened to me in the past.
Really grinds my gears, especially if they follow it up with 'It's not that I'm not attracted to you, I'm just not ready for a BF yet...' Why do they get involved in the first place and waste your time?
Anyway, it's Monday, a whole week of possibilities lie ahead
Can MisChief or someone else with an 'inner track' as to how a girl's mind works, please explain to me: how a girl can be 110% engaged (face-to-face chats, texts, steamy texts, calls etc) in events leading up to meeting a guy for a 1st date, then seemgly overnight have a complete change of heart?
I realise this isn't just related to internet dating, but I've always wondered. I've never been at a loss for a date (go me
) but even this phenomenon has happened to me in the past.Really grinds my gears, especially if they follow it up with 'It's not that I'm not attracted to you, I'm just not ready for a BF yet...' Why do they get involved in the first place and waste your time?
Anyway, it's Monday, a whole week of possibilities lie ahead
Janesy - does 'S' stand for Snoopy? 
I'm guilty of cancelling dates at the last minute, but not because I had someone better lined up. I think I cancelled because when the time comes for you to meet, you realise that the person really isn't for you when you're having doubts about meeting up. I start thinking, "Do I really want to meet him?", "Am I just 'settling' for 2nd best?", "What if I don't like him?"
Girl chats to you as there's nothing else better to do. It's just talking, right? Until you ask to meet up and then they think O **** I was only chatting to you to occupy my time, I didn't actually want to meet up. As soon as someone else better comes along then you're soon forgotten.Can MisChief or someone else with an 'inner track' as to how a girl's mind works, please explain to me: how a girl can be 110% engaged (face-to-face chats, texts, steamy texts, calls etc) in events leading up to meeting a guy for a 1st date, then seemgly overnight have a complete change of heart?
I realise this isn't just related to internet dating, but I've always wondered. I've never been at a loss for a date (go me
Really grinds my gears, especially if they follow it up with 'It's not that I'm not attracted to you, I'm just not ready for a BF yet...' Why do they get involved in the first place and waste your time?
Anyway, it's Monday, a whole week of possibilities lie ahead
I'm guilty of cancelling dates at the last minute, but not because I had someone better lined up. I think I cancelled because when the time comes for you to meet, you realise that the person really isn't for you when you're having doubts about meeting up. I start thinking, "Do I really want to meet him?", "Am I just 'settling' for 2nd best?", "What if I don't like him?"
Soldato
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I had this recently with a girl I met when in the pub, seemed like a nice girl and was really interested from 'hi' pretty much. Fast forward a few weeks and having seen her a couple of times and her being really forward etc. I was unsure where I stood so checked (via the aid of a friend) which resulted in 'I do find him attractive but I'm not looking for anything at the moment'. I was partly annoyed due to the fact she blatantly liked me but also relieved as I then didn't have to worry about anything and dropped her like a mouldy potato and moved on with my life.
Janesy - does 'S' stand for Snoopy?
Girl chats to you as there's nothing else better to do. It's just talking, right? Until you ask to meet up and then they think O **** I was only chatting to you to occupy my time, I didn't actually want to meet up. As soon as someone else better comes along then you're soon forgotten.
I'm guilty of cancelling dates at the last minute, but not because I had someone better lined up. I think I cancelled because when the time comes for you to meet, you realise that the person really isn't for you when you're having doubts about meeting up. I start thinking, "Do I really want to meet him?", "Am I just 'settling' for 2nd best?", "What if I don't like him?"
That is the whole point in the date! Give the guys a chance, meet them, chat to them, see how well you get on then you'll know if they are worthwhile or not, rather than randomly deciding 'I wont like them anyway'. This is why men get annoyed with women and dating/online dating, because you girls are so damn silly and over think things before they have even gone anywhere!
Well that's the thing... I chat to them and think they're nice etc, but then just before meeting I'm thinking... "Can I get over his looks though?"
Yes I'm shallow.
Soldato
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Janesy - does 'S' stand for Snoopy?
Yes, I'm sure it was a bad angle. I'll never know now!
I don't expect anyone to drop their standards to the point where they are effectively dating a warthog but I think people are so obsessed about getting the perfect match and not getting 2nd best that they end up not meeting anyone at all. I think that rings true for a lot of people. As for criteria, some people take it too far - see below:
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This! Almost verbatim. The girl did all the chasing and things progressed well ahead of first date territory. Then just before the date - 'it's not you its me' rubbish.
MisChief said:
I think that's it - they are filling a void until something better comes along. It's all about timing I guess. I've been guilty of this in the past too, but I thought this one was 'special' lol.
Hard not to be to cynical... lets see how my other two go. I just hate wasting my time.
If you don't fancy them you don't fancy them. It's not shallow. That term is thrown around too much most likely to protect people who are at the lower end of the spectrum. We are programmed this way!
But I do think what's the point in talking to people if its you're not really interested. It's a dating website. I think females are worse for this and all have different reasons.
To be honest, I don't really understand why people who suddenly get ignored would be that bothered or feel bitter about it. Yes we do it to people, but people can also do it to you.
I've stopped talking to people, and it's also happened to me before. Do I give a ****? Nope. You're just going to depress yourself if you can't accept rejection (especially with internet dating). I guess confidence has something to do with it? Just because a guy stops talking to me or decides to cancel on a date last minute and never talk to me again doesn't mean I'm not good enough for him. In fact, it's his loss.
I've stopped talking to people, and it's also happened to me before. Do I give a ****? Nope. You're just going to depress yourself if you can't accept rejection (especially with internet dating). I guess confidence has something to do with it? Just because a guy stops talking to me or decides to cancel on a date last minute and never talk to me again doesn't mean I'm not good enough for him. In fact, it's his loss.
Soldato
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I got quite close earlier this year as I had three on the boil at the same time and ended up with nothing at all
'V' was a bit of a geeky girl but she was good fun to talk to and we had a lot in common, we'd text daily and speak on the phone every few days and she was very keen on meeting up. However she just stopped replying to my texts, eventually she replied saying she 'needed some time alone' - I told her if she ever wanted to talk I'd be happy but I never heard from her again. No big loss, there's two others right?!
Why were you chatting for so long without meeting up? Especially if she really did seem keen to do so?
Soldato
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His gain to be honest.
The point is you're saying you do this all the time, chat to people, get on well with them etc. etc. then decide that you're too good for them before giving them a change. This is harsh on them and they are allowed to be annoyed because of it.
People doing this sort of thing is something that makes internet dating such a chore for people who are genuine and want to actually get something out of it, rather than just a shag. The genuine people just get fed up of people like you and give up on it, Janesy's 3 examples and subsequent deletion of his accounts has shown this fully.
Stop being so picky and thinking you're the best thing ever and you might actually meet some really decent guys.
I totally agree, I don't care what randoms think or people off the interent (except maybe you lot
). My issues with the person im my situation, was that it was someone I work with and we'd become friends up to that point. Now it's just a bit awkard, especially when the say they still fancy you.I'm a grown up, I'd just prefer if people grew a set and said: 'despite what's happened so far, I've met someone else' or '...I don't see a future etc'.
It's the 'it's not you, its me' or 'I'm not ready for a BF' stuff that bugs me
I have met some decent guys, but I don't feel I should 'settle' for these decent guys if I don't find them particularly attractive. I don't have to be single, I choose to be single.Stop being so picky and thinking you're the best thing ever and you might actually meet some really decent guys.
The problem I find with some guys is that they're incapable of being just friends with females. No, just because you're on an internet dating site doesn't mean you are looking for a partner - POF allows you to select hang out, looking for friends etc etc. Even if you have selected 'looking for a relationship', it doesn't mean you HAVE to meet up with the intention of dating either. I've made it clear to a few guys even before meeting that I want nothing more than friends. Not my fault if they still fall head over heels for me
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