Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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PetitFour said:
Yes, it is. I really don't think it's for me, for various reasons. I just have no clue where else to find someone. Once you're done with school/uni it gets hard to meet new people. What did people do before we had the internet?
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Went out and met people:confused:

You can still do that, have you not got any friends that you go out with for a girlies nite out??. Or look at extending your social circle etc.
 
I'm actually rather shy but I'd bet a years wages that no one that knows me at all would ever say in a million years I'm a shy person. I normally don't have to approach people on a night out, being 20 stone and 6 foot 3 attracts men and women who break the ice by talking to me about how bloody huge I am and my copious amounts of tattoos also make women generally break the ice. I'd hate to go speed dating though, I don't think there is anything wrong with it just not sure if I could do it.
 
PetitFour said:
In all honesty, I think dating sites are mostly a curse. I think quite a few people are addicted to it and rather spend their time messaging people and having a few dates than actually build something with someone. I've read about this, about the addiction and how easy it is to just browse profiles if something's not quite right. Whilst people apparently made more of an effort in the past, they now simply click on the next profile because the next partner (victim) is just a few clicks away.
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Probably the same concept as Facebook and likes/comments, people love getting e-attention.

Women more so than men, but I can imagine the amount of messages, no matter who from would be quite the ego-inflater.

People are either on these sites for attention, sex, or their lives don't allow for them to meet many new people.
 
Yas786 said:
Went out and met people:confused:
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Fair enough. I will say again though that it's not easy. I find that I don't get approached a lot. I think guys are terrified of me. But then again, I very rarely see someone who interests me anyway. In a weird way, it's easier for me to be interested in someone on a dating site. It seems I dismiss guys much quicker in the real world than online.
 
PetitFour said:
Fair enough. I will say again though that it's not easy. I find that I don't get approached a lot. I think guys are terrified of me. But then again, I very rarely see someone who interests me anyway. In a weird way, it's easier for me to be interested in someone on a dating site. It seems I dismiss guys much quicker in the real world than online.
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Maybe because you actually get to know guys a bit more online than judge them purely by their looks which you would do in the real world as that's the only thing you can go by?

I'm not handsome, I'm not fit, I'm chubby, I look like a thug and online dating I do terrible at, for me I do better in real life but I guess everyone is different and different methods work for different people.
 
PetitFour said:
I've been reading this thread for a while and decided to contribute.

I'm pretty much done with online dating. I'm sure there are decent guys on these sites, but it's fairly hard to find them among all the commitment-phobes, e-gigolos, weirdos and creeps. I started talking to a guy a couple of months ago. I kind of knew he was bad news, but decided to go with it and see how it works. Well, we met up. Had sex, twice. In the same night. We said we'd meet again. Now I'm not generally the type who has sex on the first date, or who has casual sex. Mistake is all I can say. Anyway, a day later I received a message from him stating that he's received some bad news and has to leave the country for a few days and wouldn't be able to meet up again. He knew I was leaving shortly afterwards for a while. Now of course I don't know if he's lying or not, but certainly seems like he wanted sex but nothing that it may bring with it. I don't want to say I feel used, because I obviously wanted the sex, too. But seeing him on the dating site daily (yes, I stalk him) makes me pretty upset. I guess I just expected at least some interest after we had sex, and it's still annoying me that he quite possibly lied because he didn't want to meet again. Makes me feel a bit worthless. We're still in touch but who knows for how long.
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Make a note to yourself: if you want to keep a man's interest don't bop him on the first date. Otherwise the majority of guys won't see you as anything serious, just a conquest.

And yes, I'd put good money on that he's lying about leaving the country.
 
Richdog said:
Make a note to yourself: if you want to keep a man's interest don't bop him on the first date. Otherwise the majority of guys won't see you as anything serious, just a conquest.
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It really does appear to be like that. I'm not sure why though. As for this specific guy, I think he would have never seen me as anything more or serious anyway. If I hadn't had sex with him he'd probably do exactly what he does now; message other girls and go on with whatever he did before we met.
 
PetitFour said:
Fair enough. I will say again though that it's not easy. I find that I don't get approached a lot. I think guys are terrified of me. But then again, I very rarely see someone who interests me anyway. In a weird way, it's easier for me to be interested in someone on a dating site. It seems I dismiss guys much quicker in the real world than online.
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And thats where your going wrong, dont be so hasty to dismiss guys in real life...you never know you dismissing them could be you losing out on the chance of being with someone decent unless you dont find them attractive.

Just my opinion really, like i said ive been in the same position as you in the past and ive learnt from past mistakes...not to say i dont make mistakes as i do but i try and learn from them.

Anyhow i hope it all works out for you petit, chin up and smile:)
 
PetitFour said:
Fair enough. I will say again though that it's not easy. I find that I don't get approached a lot. I think guys are terrified of me. But then again, I very rarely see someone who interests me anyway. In a weird way, it's easier for me to be interested in someone on a dating site. It seems I dismiss guys much quicker in the real world than online.
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Why do you think guys are terrified of you? I can relate to what you're saying in this post. But I think I dismiss both equally quickly but also have the lingering thought of how arbitrary the online world is.

I'm on a bit of a hiatus from online dating as I prefer to operate where I can actually speak to people and not have to come up with random messages to the already inundated girls online.

Having said that I'm doing much better irl than online.
 
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