Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Winks are very lazy... Are you meant to wink back or message back?

I wasn't going to go back into the fray until a profile and photo overhaul....
 
So she wasnt down for ice skating lol, this is the 3rd time of seeing her, we just went to a nice local bar/pub/restaurant thing for a couple quick drinks, im struggling to work out what she is looking for tho, she opened up about family, work problems, stuff like that. Arranged to go out Fri, but at the end of the night, only a kiss on the cheek again
 
Kimi said:
So she wasnt down for ice skating lol, this is the 3rd time of seeing her, we just went to a nice local bar/pub/restaurant thing for a couple quick drinks, im struggling to work out what she is looking for tho, she opened up about family, work problems, stuff like that. Arranged to go out Fri, but at the end of the night, only a kiss on the cheek again
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Well since she agreed multiple times to go out, one would like to assume she's looking for the same as you.

But at the same time, if it's always you worrying about where to go and she's actually declining a suggestion, whilst moaning about her problems on the date and things aren't escalating physically, then it would appear she just wants some distraction without any attachment.

I would say, just say to her that it's her turn to come up with an idea, if she does awesome, if she doesn't even more awesome as it shows she was just using you and you can move on to the next.
 
Begbie said:
It's never too early to tell her you love her.

Sometimes I tell them I love them early on on a first date just to get things off to a good start.
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Shut it, you. :p

Anyway she seems to be getting increasingly flirty via messages, so I think things are looking a little positive at least. I may get her out for a drink tonight.
 
I see where you are coming from, but this was my time to come up with a suggestion of places to go, as she had chosen last week, i suggested, skiing, ice skating, driving range and a quick drink after, went just ended up with the quick drink lol. She wasnt moaning about her problems, but opening up about situations shes facing and asked for advice. Imo we seem a good match and our schedules are similar and lead us to be busy most days of the week until 9ish, most people find that a put off. Shes asked me to teach her a few things that i do, so there is interest, i dont think she is a user, far from it in fact, its not her nature.

Thing is, if we go out tomorrow, it will be the first time we have both been able to drink, i feel i should ask her, why shes single, what shes looking for, things like that, i also feel that should they not be the answer that im looking for. She is the kind of person that i would be happy to keep as a friend
 
Kimi said:
Thing is, if we go out tomorrow, it will be the first time we have both been able to drink, i feel i should ask her, why shes single, what shes looking for, things like that, i also feel that should they not be the answer that im looking for. She is the kind of person that i would be happy to keep as a friend
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i would just drink and have a good time, don't ask her what's she looking for as it's quite a serious question to ask when you should be loosening up.
 
Fairly sure the answer is no said:
i would just drink and have a good time, don't ask her what's she looking for as it's quite a serious question to ask when you should be loosening up.
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Agree - I've always found it to be a bit awkward when guys ask me what I'm looking for and why I'm single.

Kimi - it sounds like you need to get a bit more intimate. Try kiss on the lips next time :D (mouth lips :o)
 
Kimi said:
I see where you are coming from, but this was my time to come up with a suggestion of places to go, as she had chosen last week, i suggested, skiing, ice skating, driving range and a quick drink after, went just ended up with the quick drink lol. She wasnt moaning about her problems, but opening up about situations shes facing and asked for advice. Imo we seem a good match and our schedules are similar and lead us to be busy most days of the week until 9ish, most people find that a put off. Shes asked me to teach her a few things that i do, so there is interest, i dont think she is a user, far from it in fact, its not her nature.

Thing is, if we go out tomorrow, it will be the first time we have both been able to drink, i feel i should ask her, why shes single, what shes looking for, things like that, i also feel that should they not be the answer that im looking for. She is the kind of person that i would be happy to keep as a friend
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Well that clarified it a little better. As long as it's not you putting in all the effort.

I'm far from a Casanova but you claim 'still only a kiss at the end of the night' What, are you expecting her to go in for a full on snog? I'm afraid she'll be waiting for that from you, assuming she wants that. Or maybe more importantly if you want that.

I also think a fair degree of complete openness is great initially, but asking her outright why she's single probably isn't the best bet. To me it would give the impression you think being single is an issue, or means she has an issue, where as in reality a lot of people just enjoy the single life for a while. And asking her what she's looking for, I'm not sure but I just don't think women think logically like that. Just put her in a position to make up her mind ie. go in for a proper kiss and escalate. If she rejects she either isn't comfortable with you just yet, or doesn't see you as a potential mate.

I'm probably the worst for it, but on dates and particularly afterwards it's very easy to over-think things, trying to over analyse everything, what she says and how she says it. When in reality you should just be having a good time and letting things flow in the moment.
 
nice post! :)

I'm on date number 3 on sunday, after date 1 & 2 we had a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek when it was time to part company. We have sent a few quite forward flirty texts which she was happy with replying and joining in.

The first date was a few drinks in a local pub, then we went for a walk in the snow near where she lives for the second. We are going out to a restaurant for the third.

Maybe a good time to go in for the make or break snog after the third date?


Thoughts?
 
theboyrob said:
nice post! :)

I'm on date number 3 on sunday, after date 1 & 2 we had a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek when it was time to part company. We have sent a few quite forward flirty texts which she was happy with replying and joining in.

The first date was a few drinks in a local pub, then we went for a walk in the snow near where she lives for the second. We are going out to a restaurant for the third.

Maybe a good time to go in for the make or break snog after the third date?


Thoughts?
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Don't see it as a make or break snog firstly :P The kiss is as much for your benefit as it is hers, but only one party can initiate.

As I mentioned previously, it should all seem to flow naturally so don't plan on kissing her at a certain point. For instance on your second date as you were walking around the snow talking, you may have looked toward her and wanted to snog her face off as she was mid-sentence, and you should have acted on that instinct and done so!

If you plan it for a certain point or perfect moment it won't happen as you'll psyche yourself out and the perfect opportunity won't arise. Again without trying to sound too much like a 'pro' women find it attractive when a guy acts on his instincts and is will to risk rejection and take a chance.

At the point of a third date, heck the end of the first you both have an idea of whether you're compatible and want to take things further. Talking, hugging, holding hands, kissing, snogging, sex, relationship etc. All just gradual steps you should naturally and comfortably take in order to step it up a notch.
 
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