Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Internet dating is something that takes time and persistence to get right. I am finally enjoying some decent success with a few hotties at the moment....

My advice is that the best darned photo you can take of yourself gets you about 60% of the way there.... The next 30% is your profile and (sorry to pick on Maj here) a profile like Maj's above (in my opinion) just screams 'generic' and I think it's vital to differentiate yourself more (Everyone has something interesting they can say?!). Of course, no offence intended, and if it is working for you, I am glad to hear it, but I found it took a few rewrites/ trial-and-error to get mine working to any decent degree.

The final 10% is the message, but I find if you get the first 2 right, the first message matters a whole lot less.
 
bainbridge said:
When I clicked on the link the first pic that appeared had two people in it. If this is your main pic change it to one of just you to avoid confusion.

Also maybe make it a bit less generic, for example you describe yourself as a bit of a thrill seeker but don't elaborate, unless going to live gigs and stand up shows is your definition of thrill seeking :)
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Thanks for the feedback, appreciate it.

The two people one is my most recent one that's all. I very rarely get one taken when I'm on my own. The one where I'm alone on Penny Lane is actually two year old but I've changed my main pic to that for now till I can get a new one taken.

Well I was a bit vague on purpose as I wanted to get questioned on it (basically I'm a big fan of rollercoasters and want to skydive and bungee jump one day).
 
Bes said:
Internet dating is something that takes time and persistence to get right. I am finally enjoying some decent success with a few hotties at the moment....

My advice is that the best darned photo you can take of yourself gets you about 60% of the way there.... The next 30% is your profile and (sorry to pick on Maj here) a profile like Maj's above (in my opinion) just screams 'generic' and I think it's vital to differentiate yourself more (Everyone has something interesting they can say?!). Of course, no offence intended, and if it is working for you, I am glad to hear it, but I found it took a few rewrites/ trial-and-error to get mine working to any decent degree.

The final 10% is the message, but I find if you get the first 2 right, the first message matters a whole lot less.
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No offence taken:) I just don't know how to describe myself any better as I don't want to lie and want to come across as myself. I don't have any particular exciting or interesting hobbies. I work during the week, then on a weekend either socialise with friends, watch football, chill in the house, or work on the car. Not very exciting I'm sure you'll all agree:(
 
maj said:
No offence taken:) I just don't know how to describe myself any better as I don't want to lie and want to come across as myself. I don't have any particular exciting or interesting hobbies. I work during the week, then on a weekend either socialise with friends, watch football, chill in the house, or work on the car. Not very exciting I'm sure you'll all agree:(
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That's fine, but my advice would be think about the way that you write it. I basically have two things in my profile that differentiate mine from yours (as in hard facts), one related to international travel, and the other related to the fact I used to own a business and want to again (Neither get asked about much by the way) but other than that, I don't have/ do anything radically different. It's all in the way you dress yourself up. For instance, I talk about what I am like, what I believe in (e.g. ambition, creativity, trying anything once), rather than what I do, as everyone does the same boring stuff, but put some creativity into it.

I'm afraid I am not going to post my profile text, as I've seen some sad individuals in this thread start using it to bait/ provoke people. Anyway, in my experience, it's the above kind of thing that gets women interested. YMMV.
 
Bes said:
That's fine, but my advice would be think about the way that you write it. I basically have two things in my profile that differentiate mine from yours (as in hard facts), one related to international travel, and the other related to the fact I used to own a business and want to again (Neither get asked about much by the way) but other than that, I don't have/ do anything radically different. It's all in the way you dress yourself up. For instance, I talk about what I am like, what I believe in (e.g. ambition, creativity, trying anything once), rather than what I do, as everyone does the same boring stuff, but put some creativity into it.

I'm afraid I am not going to post my profile text, as I've seen some sad individuals in this thread start using it to bait/ provoke people. Anyway, in my experience, it's the above kind of thing that gets women interested. YMMV.
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Thanks for the advice. Appreciated:) I'll have another go at re-writing my profile and see if I can 'sell' myself better.
 
Any one noticed how probably 70% of the girls want a guy to make them laugh?? Like that's their "ideal" thing? Some go as far as "that's all you need" which isn't true obviously but personally a sense of humour is something I'd expect from a person no matter what so why type it up in the "perfect match"

Lately I've been having fun just reading these descriptions of what girls want from their perfect match..
 
grudas said:
Any one noticed how probably 70% of the girls want a guy to make them laugh?? Like that's their "ideal" thing? Some go as far as "that's all you need" which isn't true obviously but personally a sense of humour is something I'd expect from a person no matter what so why type it up in the "perfect match"

Lately I've been having fun just reading these descriptions of what girls want from their perfect match..
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That all dpends on having the same sense of humour which is very difficult to describe anyway. You just have to see whether it works or not.

Anyway, I updated my profile, waiting for the harsh feedback: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=59371542
 
Profile looks good to me, but close them legs ;) I mean... That bracket in the 2nd paragraph about Indian food :p

Not too sure about that sticking tongue out pic though.
 
holymonk said:
So I have been on a few dates since signing up in July anded up in a strange NSA thing (dont do it, nightmare)..
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NSA is awesome :p


just gotta approach it in the right way, either they're an FB you don't talk much but when you're both horny or nearby if it's a distance thing, shag like bunnies have a giggle then say good bye, there's a Greek girl in Manchester i do this with, if i'm out shopping or night out an she's home from work message each other, pop in to her flat hump have a cup of tea an a bit of a natter and be gone.

or your FWB you hang out you be friends you screw when you like, if they meet someone or you meet someone that part ends, and you be happy for them just as you would when anyone of your friends meets someone new.


you just need to know if you're able to separate sex and love, if you can't don't do it you'll just **** both of you over.
 
Tefal said:
NSA is awesome :p


just gotta approach it in the right way, either they're an FB you don't talk much but when you're both horny or nearby if it's a distance thing, shag like bunnies have a giggle then say good bye, there's a Greek girl in Manchester i do this with, if i'm out shopping or night out an she's home from work message each other, pop in to her flat hump have a cup of tea an a bit of a natter and be gone.

or your FWB you hang out you be friends you screw when you like, if they meet someone or you meet someone that part ends, and you be happy for them just as you would when anyone of your friends meets someone new.


you just need to know if you're able to separate sex and love, if you can't don't do it you'll just **** both of you over.
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Well you know its going wrong when after the 4th occasion lying in bed its "what are we?"
 
Just taken a bit a of "shotgun" tactic to my messages.
stopped using online dating for a while, now re-ventured out into the sea with my bobber....

Sent out 13 messages, good grammar, just your standard:
"Hello
*QUESTION*
*REMARK ABOUT SOMETHING ON THEIR PROFILE OR PHOTO'S*
*ANOTHER QUESTION*

be interesting to see if i get any replies at all...
 
1st date with a lady off POF tonight...we connected over fitness, we have run a lot of the same races etc.

Turns out she's done this half iron man two years in a row...I asked how she got on "oh I've won it two years in a row and set a new course record".....okaaaay....that's pretty hardcore then !
 
FatFishMonster said:
13 messages sent out.
8 profile views
0 messages..

starting to remember why i stopped using it!
there must be something inherently wrong with me or my profile!
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Unhealthy to think that way! There's nothing "wrong" with you, but there might be stuff you can do to improve your chances of a reply. Online is a bit of a meat market so shouldn't be the be all and end all of your "search". IMO it should be used as a tool to accompany it.

Personally I found it didn't work for me so I'm trying alternatives rather than wasting any more time on it.
 
PrOdiGy1 said:
Unhealthy to think that way! There's nothing "wrong" with you, but there might be stuff you can do to improve your chances of a reply. Online is a bit of a meat market so shouldn't be the be all and end all of your "search". IMO it should be used as a tool to accompany it.

Personally I found it didn't work for me so I'm trying alternatives rather than wasting any more time on it.
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yeah, ive only ever used online dating as an extension of my social life, another bobber in the water, i don't put too much faith into it, but still, after using POF for about 8 months ive only ever had 3 dates (2 with the same girl).

it can be very disheartening. i must be doing something wrong!
 
"I'm doing something wrong" I think is only one of the conclusions one could draw from it all. There's plenty of others if you think about it. Some examples:

  1. You are competing against hundred of other guys. If you don't stand out in some way (be that looks or in the message) you are probably not going to get very far. There is nothing wrong with not being a superstud with a million zany interests, it's just the nature of being a guy in the online dating world. It's very superficial to begin with.....
  2. Someone may want to spend time writing a proper reply so have not done so yet
  3. Somebody has started seeing someone more seriously and doesn't feel comfortable replying to people online
  4. What some people post on their profiles is actually not what they are like at all as a person. So even though you might think you are a good match based on reading theirs, they might not agree.
  5. etc etc


Really it depends what you are after and what your expectations are I guess. For me I know I'm up against it for various reasons so it doesn't really surprise me that I've had bugger all success online.
 
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