Jehovahs Witnesses
- Thread starter Kroegen
- Start date
Associate
Nix said:
Damn..5,11 and 9 stone! haha.
When J.W's knock here i say "If you touch my property again im going to put my willy in your ear!" Or just close the door in there face..
Soldato
Last time a Jehova's Witness came to my door, I bet them £100 they couldn't convert me. Easiest £100 I ever made.
I scared the last lot away and they haven't been here since. I told them how rude of them it was to disturb me. They asked me what I was doing, I replied "Pulling percy" they replied "We are very sorry to have disturbed you* after going bright red in the face, I wish I had my camera with me at that point.
Associate
Jonny ///M said:I just got it battered in to me to not let them in.....i always get told how i hid behind the sofa becuase the "morons where at the door" that was the mormons or whatever the **** they call themselves.
Fair enough to them but afaik they take money off you? My mates gran always gives loads of money to them......wtf.....its ok to give money at church n stuff that way well.....im not a very religous person.
If they ask for money just say 'I think God has enough money'
Man of Honour
I remember something from One Foot in the Grave:
*Knock on the door*
*Richard Wilson opens it*
"J Witnesses - "Hello!!"
*Richard Wilson slams door shut!*
LOL
*Knock on the door*
*Richard Wilson opens it*
"J Witnesses - "Hello!!"
*Richard Wilson slams door shut!*
LOL
Associate
One of my exs was a mormon, it was kinda strange going along to a service (a life experience, if you will), this woman kept asking my ex if I was interested in joining:Jonny ///M said:I just got it battered in to me to not let them in.....i always get told how i hid behind the sofa becuase the "morons where at the door" that was the mormons or whatever the **** they call themselves.
Fair enough to them but afaik they take money off you? My mates gran always gives loads of money to them......wtf.....its ok to give money at church n stuff that way well.....im not a very religous person.
"Erm, I live three hours away, so, erm, not really convienient for me?"
Didn't particularly want to offend her, but it seemed very strange in there, especially with a guy popping up on the altar thing, and describing how much he loved his faith, crying his eyes out. Had to muffle some laughter for a while there, I thought they were taking the ****.
Soldato
For a start they dont gable so thats BS.
Also I think its nice people actually give others a chance to explain, like the first guy. I was actually happy to see smeone interested in something outside there own tiny box of how they have been brought up. I think a lot of people on this thread are just plain stupid and inconsiderate. JW from their point of view are doing a hell of a lot better job then other christians, cause it does infact say to "spread the word" in the bible. so all other christians that dont are hypocritial idiots.
And NO I am not a JW, I am just someone a little more considerate then others
Since I am not a ****. I usually let them in, I have time to have a chat and its quite good fun. They do present valid points, and so do I. Somthing tells me 95% of the "kill it with fire" responses have never actually had the benefit of JW coming round.
oxygene said:
Well if you'd spend the time to use that special search function and type in "Religion", you may actually find a few hundred threads on the subject and from what I've read, the general concencous is that people don't like others preaching their beliefs to them. Next time, try reading before you troll.
There's a JWs church quite near where I live, an old joke I like to say is "I wonder what they'd do if I went and knocked on their door."
*Knock knock*
"Hi, i'm a moron, I mean mormon..."
"Get the custard creams..."
Soldato
Black Books Series 2 Ep 1
Jehovah's Witness 1: Hello, we were wondering if we could talk to you about Jesus.
Bernard: (desperate to avoid doing his tax return) Great! Come in!
Jehovah's Witness 1: What?
Bernard: I'd love to hear about Jesus! What's he up to now? Come on in, come on!
Jehovah's Witness 1: Are... are you sure?
Bernard: Yes! In! In! Come in!
Jehovah's Witness 2: It's a trick!
Jehovah's Witness 1: No... it's just... usually, people don't say yes.
Bernard: Well I'm not people! Come on in! Let's talk beliefs! Come in, come in. Grab a pew. Right, let's go.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Well, to be honest, we've never actually thought this far ahead. It's nice in here. "Indoors".
Bernard: What's your favourite story about our Lord?
Jehovah's Witness 2: Moneylenders! Has to be the moneylenders. Chasing them out of the temple...
Bernard: It is knock-out stuff, isn't it, yeah? And yourself?
Jehovah's Witness 1: Oh it's... it's all good. But I suppose when he, when he rescued, when Jesus rescued the Samaritan.
Bernard: No, that's a story Jesus tells about the Samaritan who helped somebody else.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Really?
Bernard: Yeah.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Wow.
Jehovah's Witness 2: And I like the one where he went to dinner with the tax collector.
Bernard: (looks disgusted at the mention of tax) And do you have any literature or anything I could look at?
(Jehovah's Witnesses shake their heads)
Jehovah's Witness 1: Oh yes! Those books and magazines we have! Books and magazines!
Healthy people JWs send a lot of time outside doors
MB
Jehovah's Witness 1: Hello, we were wondering if we could talk to you about Jesus.
Bernard: (desperate to avoid doing his tax return) Great! Come in!
Jehovah's Witness 1: What?
Bernard: I'd love to hear about Jesus! What's he up to now? Come on in, come on!
Jehovah's Witness 1: Are... are you sure?
Bernard: Yes! In! In! Come in!
Jehovah's Witness 2: It's a trick!
Jehovah's Witness 1: No... it's just... usually, people don't say yes.
Bernard: Well I'm not people! Come on in! Let's talk beliefs! Come in, come in. Grab a pew. Right, let's go.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Well, to be honest, we've never actually thought this far ahead. It's nice in here. "Indoors".
Bernard: What's your favourite story about our Lord?
Jehovah's Witness 2: Moneylenders! Has to be the moneylenders. Chasing them out of the temple...
Bernard: It is knock-out stuff, isn't it, yeah? And yourself?
Jehovah's Witness 1: Oh it's... it's all good. But I suppose when he, when he rescued, when Jesus rescued the Samaritan.
Bernard: No, that's a story Jesus tells about the Samaritan who helped somebody else.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Really?
Bernard: Yeah.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Wow.
Jehovah's Witness 2: And I like the one where he went to dinner with the tax collector.
Bernard: (looks disgusted at the mention of tax) And do you have any literature or anything I could look at?
(Jehovah's Witnesses shake their heads)
Jehovah's Witness 1: Oh yes! Those books and magazines we have! Books and magazines!
Healthy people JWs send a lot of time outside doors
MB
Kroegen said:Alright,
Well today, at like 10am, im in the middle of eating my breakfast, and the door bell rings. I thought it was the posty so i ran to the door, but then i find out its Jehovahs Witnesses.
They looked abit parched, so i offered them in for a drink. We had some tea, and were reading the "Watch Tower" they had with them. It was very a heart warming experience. I have never met any type of people who will sacrafice soo much of there time to there religion. I respect them for that. Also yo ucan have a very deep chat about all kinds of things, like evolution and have a good discussion
Have you had them round before?
no, they stopped comming around when I found a way to get the bodys to stay on the pikes.
Matblack said:Black Books Series 2 Ep 1
Jehovah's Witness 1: Hello, we were wondering if we could talk to you about Jesus.
Bernard: (desperate to avoid doing his tax return) Great! Come in!
Jehovah's Witness 1: What?
Bernard: I'd love to hear about Jesus! What's he up to now? Come on in, come on!
Jehovah's Witness 1: Are... are you sure?
Bernard: Yes! In! In! Come in!
Jehovah's Witness 2: It's a trick!
Jehovah's Witness 1: No... it's just... usually, people don't say yes.
Bernard: Well I'm not people! Come on in! Let's talk beliefs! Come in, come in. Grab a pew. Right, let's go.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Well, to be honest, we've never actually thought this far ahead. It's nice in here. "Indoors".
Bernard: What's your favourite story about our Lord?
Jehovah's Witness 2: Moneylenders! Has to be the moneylenders. Chasing them out of the temple...
Bernard: It is knock-out stuff, isn't it, yeah? And yourself?
Jehovah's Witness 1: Oh it's... it's all good. But I suppose when he, when he rescued, when Jesus rescued the Samaritan.
Bernard: No, that's a story Jesus tells about the Samaritan who helped somebody else.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Really?
Bernard: Yeah.
Jehovah's Witness 1: Wow.
Jehovah's Witness 2: And I like the one where he went to dinner with the tax collector.
Bernard: (looks disgusted at the mention of tax) And do you have any literature or anything I could look at?
(Jehovah's Witnesses shake their heads)
Jehovah's Witness 1: Oh yes! Those books and magazines we have! Books and magazines!
Healthy people JWs send a lot of time outside doors
MB
love that, the bit when they come round the next day and mannys there looking like jesus
I remember answering the door to them in just my pants, it was 2 women, one in her 30s who wasn't bad and one 18-20 who was really hot. The older one kept asking me questions but she wouldn't let the younger one speak 
I think they have have some kind of lust radar
I was seriously thinking of asking the younger one if she wanted to go for a drink but it didn't seem appropriate.
I think they have have some kind of lust radar I was seriously thinking of asking the younger one if she wanted to go for a drink but it didn't seem appropriate.