Living at your parents home when you're 25+

Nope. When I got my first xmas temp job at 16 I was expected to pay my own way at home. Granted it wasn't much I had to pay but it was more about the principle.

Last year my partner and I moved in with my grandmother from March-October whilst we waited for our house to be completed. During that time we'd pay for electric and gas and whenever we'd go to the shops we'd also do my grandmothers shopping. She refused to take rent from us so doing those bits was how we felt we could pay her back.
 
If I was living back at home for free I'd be doing every bit of housework, DIY and cooking going just to pay my way.
 
I didn't pay my way at all when I was still living with my parents after uni, but I think they trusted that I was working my balls off to get my own place as soon as possible, which I did. Had I not been in a hurry to get out, then I think things would be different.

When my kids are older, I would expect them to help out and pay a decent chunk of rent if they wanted to stay at home, but I would keep that rent aside and give it back to them eventually to go towards a deposit. Teaches them to manage their money as well as stopping them from being scroungers (hopefully)!
 
Not sure anyone can give you a decent answer based on the info provided, doesn't sound like their head is in a good place/might be symptoms of Graves - no clue what it was but a quick google matches OPs description.

You had a chat with them about their health and how they're coping? Not saying it is, but I've seen a lot of similar situations where it's simply poor MH but no one wants to sit down and have a chat about it. I know that when my MH has been bad I get very defensive and even the smallest ask feels like a mountain to climb.

In general though, any adult living with their parents should be contributing to the household, either financially or in terms of labour.
 
Old Man said:
A question for you and or your parents on this:

My son is back living at home because of issues (issues = time off from Uni) and does not help with any rent, food or anything else and yet he is upset that my wife and I ask him to answer phones (I still work freelance), pick up groceries etc and all I get is an an earful of how unfair I am, so am I?

He is taking time off from Uni, 27 years old, but has some health issues (pacemaker and Graves), but other than that he's fine.

Gave it a shot to ask here.
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When I was living at home (18+ years ago) following university and during uni, I paid rent or at least contributed to bills (shopping / electricity) and did my own chores and helped with family chores (cleaning etc...).

So it sounds to me that he's being a bit selfish, regardless of his health issues which by the sounds of things doesn't preclude him from helping around the house / contributing.
 
Yeh, sounds like he's a fully paid up member of the KIPPERS.

I know someone who have a 28 year old KIPPER(S), but at least they pay nominal rent and help around the house, but their parents do everything for them, cook, clean, even drop them off (and pick them up) to their zero contract job, they have zero interest in moving out!
 
Kelt said:
Yeh, sounds like he's a fully paid up member of the KIPPERS.

I know someone who have a 28 year old KIPPER(S), but at least they pay nominal rent and help around the house, but their parents do everything for them, cook, clean, even drop them off (and pick them up) to their zero contract job, they have zero interest in moving out!
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Do you realize how expensive living costs are today and how few houses there are?
 
BallistixOnZ490 said:
Do you realize how expensive living costs are today and how few houses there are?
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Lots of places to rent, and yes living expenses cost money. I house/flat shared for a few years until I could afford rent of a place by myself, or jointly rented with a mate / girlfriend. I probably spent 10 years or so changing homes 5/6 times. It's not a big deal.
 
27 and at Uni is later than most people so there is a back story here. What was he doing before he went to Uni? Where was he living before this?

At what point did his medical issues get diagnosed and did it impact his plans at that time compared to his peers?
 
Freefaller said:
Lots of places to rent, and yes living expenses cost money. I house/flat shared for a few years until I could afford rent of a place by myself, or jointly rented with a mate / girlfriend. I probably spent 10 years or so changing homes 5/6 times. It's not a big deal.
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I rented from the age of 24 (2006) until 30th June this year (39).

Flat shares, lived alone, lived with girlfriend/wife etc. Lots of money down the drain but at least I wasn't sponging off parents and we were self-sufficient.
 
I think as soon as I moved back from from Uni I was paying rent. Only a token amount but it was something - and that mentality of not getting anything for free in this world is something a lot of youth today seem to be lacking. OP knows the answer here, his son should be contributing via chores and/or rent. Definitely.
 
VincentHanna said:
I rented from the age of 24 (2006) until 30th June this year (39).

Flat shares, lived alone, lived with girlfriend/wife etc. Lots of money down the drain but at least I wasn't sponging off parents and we were self-sufficient.
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Agreed. Though I never felt it was money down the drain. I had a place to live! And my parents deserved to be able to live without having to look after me, and frankly I wanted my own space and my own independence. I was an adult by the time I started and finished university. Of course they would bend over backwards for me, but as an adult, it was time to stand on my own 2 feet.
 
Freefaller said:
Lots of places to rent, and yes living expenses cost money. I house/flat shared for a few years until I could afford rent of a place by myself, or jointly rented with a mate / girlfriend. I probably spent 10 years or so changing homes 5/6 times. It's not a big deal.
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Would be difficult for people who don't know anyone.

Some people never reach the 'mental maturity' they are meant to by the time they are legally considered 'adults'.
 
BallistixOnZ490 said:
Would be difficult for people who don't know anyone.
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I didn't know some of the people I flat shared with until I got to know them. And most people have SOME friends... In fact one of the flat shares was with a mate I made at the gym. Others were ex-rugby teammates. Then you save enough to rent by yourself, or with a girlfriend/partner etc... It just requires a little effort, sometimes a little compromise, but it's worth it in the long term.
 
Freefaller said:
I didn't know some of the people I flat shared with until I got to know them. And most people have SOME friends... In fact one of the flat shares was with a mate I made at the gym. Others were ex-rugby teammates. Then you save enough to rent by yourself, or with a girlfriend/partner etc... It just requires a little effort, sometimes a little compromise, but it's worth it in the long term.
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Having friends is not the same as having friends you can live with.

Living with strangers can be impossible to for a lot of people.

Just because you managed doesn't mean everyone else can.
 
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