My first thread for relationship advice... :/

If it was 1 kid by 1 father fair enough maybe something could be worked out, give her the benefit of the doubt. But 2 kids by 2 different fathers that just screams damaged goods.

Just think there is a beautiful single girl out there waiting for you.. with no baggage, no complications, hassle free, you could possibly have your own kids with her and in many years you'll be thinking... I'm so glad i listened to GD ;) :D

Call it a day mate.
 
But 2 kids by 2 different fathers that just screams damaged goods.
That is such a lot of BS, we already know bloke#2 was a bad one and I'd suggest bloke#1 wasn't much more of a man.
Why then does the collective misogyny of GD always seek to dump all this on the girl? Yes she picked some duffers, we all do, does that automatically make her more of a dog than her ex's? :mad:

This is like some Victorian society where all girls are outcasts if they fall pregnant. You wouldn't all jump to label your girlfriend as a tramp if the condom breaks or the pill doesn't work would you? :rolleyes:


However, her making allowances for dog#2 is unacceptable, it's entirely his fault he only has restricted access so he now has to fit around you. If it doesn't change, leave.
Actually, a first relationship with kids may be too much of a responsibility for you, I'd look at something more casual for a few years first.

This may be the first thread on here that everyone was in agreement on. That should tell you something!
I'm always quite happy to disagree with this sort of thing :)
 
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That is such a lot of BS, we already know bloke#2 was a bad one and I'd suggest bloke#1 wasn't much more of a man.
Why then does the collective misogyny of GD always seek to dump all this on the girl? Yes she picked some duffers, we all do, does that automatically make her more of a dog than her ex's? :mad:

This is like some Victorian society where all girls are outcasts if they fall pregnant. You wouldn't all jump to label your girlfriend as a tramp if the condom breaks or the pill doesn't work would you? :rolleyes:


However, her making allowances for dog#2 is unacceptable, it's entirely his fault he only has restricted access so he now has to fit around you. If it doesn't change, leave.

Because that's life and this is an option for him. What is so wrong with not seeking a relationship with someone with a lot of strings attached. It's entirely up to him what he does, i suppose it depends on how much he loves her, something neither of us know. But from the initial signs it doesn't look promising and he's already having doubts about the situation. Man has doubt about possible woes.. GD gives advice to concentrate on his own life.. whoop dee doo? :rolleyes:
 
What is so wrong with not seeking a relationship with someone with a lot of strings attached.
Nothing is wrong with that.
What is wrong however (and this is something GD do all the time) is automatically blaming the girl for how her life turned out. She got pregnant, the relationship failed, this happens to the nicest of girls, it happened again, this also happens to the nicest of girls.

What is she supposed to do to avoid being condemned as a tramp by GD? Use double condoms and only date born again Christians?
How about sharing the blame around a bit here, I think the two dogs she dated deserve a lot more than her.
 
Been there had it, & done it.

As usual it's the kids who suffer, sad, but their not your kids.

Advice, walk away now, might be hard, but it will save a lot of grief, **** later.

Your like a car to her, give it a few months, maybe a year, she will want trade you in for a different model or go back to one of the old models again.
 
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When are you seeing her next?
Was hoping today.
[FnG]magnolia;24462110 said:
So what are you going to do?
Heads telling me to walk away.
Been there had it, & done it.

As usual it's the kids who suffer, sad, but their not your kids.

Advice, walk away now, might be hard, but it will save a lot of grief, **** later.

Your like a car to her, give it a few months, maybe a year, she will want trade you in for a different model or go back to one of the old models again.

This is my feeling exactly.

She's just purposely blanking my messages now - which tells me what I already know and need to do.

Shame though - they always seem to be decent the first few months. :/
 
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You've got two options:

1. Your girlfriend insists the ex see his kid way from the house, no if's, no butts, no compromise.

2.
gandalf_falling_zpsd555cee0.jpg
 
You've got two options:

1. Your girlfriend insists the ex see his kid way from the house, no if's, no butts, no compromise.

2.
gandalf_falling_zpsd555cee0.jpg

1. That's my point - but she doesn't see it like that. Because he says if he cant have them there, he's not going to see him at all... So then when I say well that's his problem - I'm the bad one. Lol..

2. Lol.
 
Nothing is wrong with that.
What is wrong however (and this is something GD do all the time) is automatically blaming the girl for how her life turned out. She got pregnant, the relationship failed, this happens to the nicest of girls, it happened again, this also happens to the nicest of girls.

What is she supposed to do to avoid being condemned as a tramp by GD? Use double condoms and only date born again Christians?
How about sharing the blame around a bit here, I think the two dogs she dated deserve a lot more than her.

I hear no one insulting her... damaged goods is what you would call a female with lots of kids maybe by different fathers that has problems, which this girl can be classed as. I didn't or anybody call her a tramp, we have only presented a suitable option for the OP.
 
1. That's my point - but she doesn't see it like that. Because he says if he cant have them there, he's not going to see him at all... So then when I say well that's his problem - I'm the bad one. Lol..

2. Lol.

Looks like your stuck with option 2, if the girl was rational and the relationship was truly over she wouldn't hesitate to lay the law down with the ex and say yes you can see you kid whenever is reasonable, but you can take them to your place or take them out for the day, you aint hanging around here!

Alarm bells are ringing loud due to the fact she making a lot of allowances for her ex with no regard for your feelings, and seemingly your relationship. I'd say that's game over, man.
 
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Swifty, are you happy? You don't sound very happy and whilst that's not the defining characteristic of a fun and healthy relationship, it's probably a good thing to be able to say at least some or most of the time.
 
Looks like your stuck with option 2, if the girl was rational and the relationship was truly over she wouldn't hesitate to lay the law down with the ex and say yes you can see you kid whenever is reasonable, but you can take them to your place or take them out for the day, you aint hanging around here!

She just sees it as a benefit for her son, usual reply is "oh well, as long as he gets to see his son"...

She's coming over later on this tea time. So will update the situation then.

May seem like I'm defending her, but there's a lot more in her past that just shows she's been mostly **** on. She lost her mother to cancer 2 years ago - practically skints her self to look after her siblings and tries to please everyone. I think she's a little lost with no one to turn to.

Just don't want to do anything rational right now. :/
 
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