1) Crappy recap is crappy.
2) Repairs ongoing.
3) I still haven't worked out what the spinny ring of the Disco's hull is even for.
4) They did refit her systems. Along with adding that programmable matter deal. And either detached or detachable or deployable nacelles, haven't yet seen enough to figure that one out. Though, I don't suppose they actually need the nacelles for the spore drive. Gonna make an already odd-looking ship even odder if the nacelles can disappear, mind.
5) Saru's little speech being delivered to Vance
et al. And he put Burnham in charge of getting the crew up to speed. How will she **** that one up this week?
6) Vance getting around to letting the other captains know about Disco's spore drive. Disco to be a 'rapid response' ship. And for 'rapid' read 'instantaneous'.
7) Emerald Chain again.
8) New comm badges, with holo PADDs built in. Tilly and the other bridge bunnies geeking out over them.
9) Yes, yes, the interfaces got programmable matter as well. We get it writers. Move on.
10) Comic relief from Linus.
11) A hail from outside the Distortion Field. And what the hell
is the chain of command on this ship? Now the comms officer Bryce is deferring to Nilsson, the spore drive ops officer. But Rhys was given the conn last time out, wasn't he? Which would make him the most senior bridge officer when the captain and XO aren't up there. HELLO, EARTH TO STD WRITERS, CONTINUITY IS AN ACTUAL THING!!!!
12) The cat is hailing. Like I've said before, Grudge is very much the brains of that particular operation.
13) Recorded message from Booker to kick off the plot.
14) From three weeks ago.
15) Pausing for prediction time. First, Burnham is going to be ordered not to go after Book. Second, Burnham will then go after Book. Third, because of the writers' pathological need to make her some kind of messianic hero one of two things will happen - she will be punished harshly to (try to) evoke sympathy from the audience, or she will not be punished at all because she's a Mary Sue of the worst kind.
16) Saru asking what a black box would tell them, because he's in a scene with Burnham and needs to be turned into an idiot to make her look cleverer
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17) Aaaaand Burnham talking has made me lose the will to live. Good effort, writers.
18) Actually, who did write this one? *rummage* Ann Cofell Saunders, also a co-exec producer on the show.
19) Bored.
20) Burnham's desire to figure out the Burn and her desire to have sex with Book fortunately for her are going to pull in the same direction.
21) Saru saying that they can't go, and explains their orders.
22) So of course Burnham is going to argue with him.
23) Oh, just mutiny and get on with it.
24) Quick check of 15), and yep - first and second points ticked off.
25) Recruiting !Georgiou.
26) Who is making a fair point about how she's dropping Saru right in it.
27) Yeah, you know what? I'm going back to calling her Bonehead. Because she just is not at all smart.
28) Well, there was eight minutes of pretty awful television. Now, while the intro drones on, the real excitement - can it possibly get any worse? All signs point to 'maybe'.
29) Bonehead and !Georgiou off in Book's ship then.
30) Witless dialogue.
31) Oh good. Detmer not the only one with PTSD, !Georgiou suffering flashbacks as well.
32) Witless dialogue continues.
33) Burnham wanging on about how smart she is, 'reverse-engineering' Grudge's tracking collar. But unless she made a whole other one, she didn't 'reverse-engineer' it at all. She merely reprogrammed the existing one.
34) Meanwhile on the Disco, Tilly coming to see Grudge. Who isn't wearing a collar. Guess we really can consider putting that talk of 'reverse-engineering' from 33) in the pile of Things Bonehead Says To Sound Smarter™.
35) Gosh, an amusing line at last - Tilly wondering if Grudge ate Bonehead when the computer says that she's not on the ship.
36) Back with the 'action', such as it is. Bonehead and !Georgiou heading for the surface.
37) Witless dialogue attempting to be exposition. Osyraa getting name-dropped a bunch (*edit* - settling on this spelling of her name).
38) "Self-sealing stembolts"
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Beloved of the DS9 writers, 'invented' by the late Peter Allan Fields for an episode of that show and used as script-flavouring thereafter. What do they do? Who knows.
39) Someone getting a restraining bolt attached. This show is so desperate to be Star Wars
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40) There's Book.
41) Who is the only one being friendly with the Andorian (who is missing his antennae, either in-story or by accident) wielding the restraining bolt implanter.
42) Nice poker face Book
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43) Not that Bonehead's is any better
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44) The very Chinese-looking Bajoran (*edit* - Lai, played by Daniel Jun) is about to cop it.
45) Yes, yes. We get it. Emerald Chain people evil.
46) This show really does revel in nastiness sometimes. Including showing someone getting their head exploded, because [reasons]
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47) Hey ho. Back on the Disco, Adira Tal having a conversation with themself-as-Gray Tal.
48) Stamets grousing about the intermix pods having been moved. Intermix pods? Intermix relates to the matter and antimatter used for the warp drive, combined in an intermix ratio using dilithium as the McGuffin that stops them from uncontrollably annihilating and exploding. I suppose Stamets could be referring to pods containing deuterium and antideuterium. But I don't think the term 'intermix pod' has ever come up before.
49) Linus still popping into scenes (quite literally) to break the tension.
50) Tal redesigned the spore drive? Yeah. Makes about as much sense as anything on this show.
51) Oh, not the drive itself. Just the interface. Because of course someone who had never seen a spore drive until very recently would know exactly how to make an interface for one.
52) Endeared themselves to Stamets at any rate.
53) Oh, that's a shame. Back with Bonehead.
54) You know, Bonehead and !Georgiou really do work well together. Maybe they should send Bonehead off to the Section 31 series when that eventually happens. They could replace her with Grudge, raise the average IQ of the bridge officers a few points.
55) *hums Careless Whisper to himself*
56) I can't figure out the mind of someone who watches this scene back after the episode is complete and thinks "yeah, that works".
57) Exposition.
58) Back on the Disco, a spot of Treknobabble from Tilly.
59) Saru telling her what Bonehead did.
60) Situationally appropriate swearing from Tilly. And another vaguely amusing line, with Saru's "my sentiments exactly". Wouldn't it be marvellous if a writer on this Godforsaken show could keep that up for a whole ~45 minutes of runtime? Hell, I'd settle for
half an episode being that well-written.
61) Poor Saru. Let down by her the way she let him down on the Shenzhou all the way back in the 'prequel' episodes of season 1. You gotta feel for the guy.
62) Good stuff from Wiseman and Jones here.
63) Counsel from Tilly is 'tell the Admiral'. Hard to disagree. Now, will the showrunners actually let Bonehead be the bad guy for once?
64) In this week's instalment of "STD Tries Hard To Be Star Wars™" - surveillance drone following !Georgiou and Commander Mutiny.
65) Oh, spiffing plan there Commander Mutiny. Just whack the drone hard with a piece of scrap. Because, of course, that won't have been noticed or tripped an alarm at all.
66) How many seconds was that before the alarm went off?
67) Book plotting with the antennae-less Andorian.
68) !Georgiou McGyvering a weapon.
69)
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70) Well, plan A working well. What d'you have for plan B !Georgiou?
71) Situationally appropriate swearing, part 2.
72) Pep talk from Book.
73) Saru has gone to Vance then.
74) Exposition.
75) !Georgiou snarking at her captors, getting a backhand for her troubles. Sat here waiting for the inevitable table-turning, wondering if I'll still be awake.
76) Book starting a bit of a riot.
77) And the least competent Orion ever seen in Trek canon gets jumped by Bonehead. Thanks for not making me wait too long there 75).
78) Plot-convenient collapse for !Georgiou there.
79) But, back up long enough to get the field down. And in a stunning indictment of the intelligence of !Georgiou and Bonehead, the Orion gets away.
80) Gosh, no trope left untouched here eh? Slave workers fleeing the plant, Book and the Andorian dude directing traffic, one couple limping along, bad guy takes aim at Book and the Andorian jumps into path of it...it's like an AI wrote this part of the script after cherry-picking all the most overused bits from previous shows
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81) And here comes the cavalry as well. Jesus H. *******
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Commander Michael Burnham, One True Light, Saviour of All of Time and Space to the rescue.
82) Shooting bad guys with the canon on Book's ship. Ain't no kill like overkill.
83) !Georgiou dropping starship remains on the salvage plant. Again, ain't no kill like overkill.
84) I have to say, of all the future-future tech we've seen this season that programmable matter stuff is the best. Being able to conjure up a bed at will when the episode has whipped you up into a light coma sounds great.
85) Oh, good. Bonehead going to interrogate !Georgiou about her collapse. Because that won't be at all irritating.
86) Bored.
87) *strangled screaming*
88) "You're not alone." Oh **** off writers.
89) Well, at least Bonehead resisted the temptation to get the last word in.
90) Stamets watching Tal talk with themselves.
91) He of course has previous with similar - seeing Culber before he was brought back to this side of reality.
92) Stamets here doing that thing where a character ends up seeming like they're from a different, better-written show because a) Anthony Rapp is a very decent actor and b) the script is schizophrenic and this bit genuinely
is a different, better-written show.
93) And just like that we're back to STD.
94) Witless dialogue between Bonehead and Book.
95) Counting down to Linus interrupting. Rule of three and all that.
96) Okay, swear to God, I genuinely called that
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97) And it really was the rule of three as well. Once on the bridge, once in engineering, now here. I'm gonna let them off for the predictability of that one
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98) *hums Careless Whisper to himself again*
99) Soundtrack going overboard trying to make this a Moment™.
100) Cuteness between Stamets and Culber.
101) Culber still doing counselling.
102) I like how their pj's have the Cochrane delta on them.
103) Back with Vance, dressing down for Bonehead incoming.
104) Who is now going to try and justify herself.
105) What is with the whispering? It's not like they're trying to keep anything secret?
106) Vance leaving it up to Saru as to what consequences Bonehead faces for going rogue. A show of trust from Admiral to Captain.
107) And our survey from the third part of 15) says...losing XO privileges. Which she never was all too hot about having anyway, after spending a year away from the ship and crew. She deserved worse.
108) A disappointed Saru beams out. Bonehead pulls off her comm badge. Please tell me she's gonna resign her commission and bugger off somewhere in the galaxy with !Georgiou...
109) "Next time..." Crap speech from Bonehead. Vulcanoids.