Nighclub chat-up lines.

hilly said:
"if I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"
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"Is the answer to this question the same as if I asked to **** you?"

as long as he doesn't give you the silence treatment you're in there
 
i like your shoes...... Fancy a **** :p

depending on the types of place you go, it might work :D


you : 20 ton polar bear

her: what?

you : 20 ton polar bear

her: what?

you : 20 ton polar bear

her: what?

you: just something to break the ice...

(i will get my coat.)
 
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Hunch over a bit and claw your hands when you say this... Want something to make your bum bleed?
 
bringerofdecay said:
not to be a zefan but you only get one line of text :p
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It's actually just one, people running higher resolutions will see that it's just a single line. If you decrease your onscreen text size it actually all lines up fine.

:p
 
Nice thread, GTA's was better though. I'm loving Zephan's Star Wars ones rekon they are the best :)

How about

*point's to girls ass*

"That's no moon, it's a space station"


Panzer
 
Panzerbjorn said:
*point's to girls ass*

"That's no moon, it's a space station"
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AHAHA :D

Addressing the entire room, "Will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?"
 
Two good ones for you...

Firstly,

'Would you like to see my magic watch?' (Show her your watch).
'It's very clever, and can talk'. (Hold watch to your ear).
'It's telling me that you are very pretty'. (Hold watch to ear again).
'It's telling me that you would like me to buy you a drink'. (Hold watch to ear again).
'It's telling me that you arn't wearing any underwear!' (Look astonished, then look at the watch again, then start adjusting the time on it).
'Whoops! Sorry! It's running 2 hours fast'.


Secondly,

When you see two girls standing at the bar, go up and start talking to the less atractive one...
'Would you like to dance?' (She will say yes as the other blokes normally ask her more attractive friend).
'Cool. **** off and dance then so I can talk to your friend'.
 
wolseley said:
Secondly,

When you see two girls standing at the bar, go up and start talking to the less atractive one...
'Would you like to dance?' (She will say yes as the other blokes normally ask her more attractive friend).
'Cool. **** off and dance then so I can talk to your friend'.
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hahahahah cruel but funny.
 
Zefan said:
It's actually just one, people running higher resolutions will see that it's just a single line. If you decrease your onscreen text size it actually all lines up fine.

:p
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well, i thought the only reason we had rules like 400x75, 3 pics per post, one line of text etc was so people with crap internet connections, and crap monitors could read it all.

im on 1680x1050 and i have defualt size sttings for my internet fonts, which means OcUK decides the size, which means it's two lines, should i get dual screens just so i can read an internet forum? :o
 
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semi-pro waster said:
I'd forgotten about that thread and I'm now creasing myself reading some of the responses. I find it sad you need to explain who GTA was now, his comedy threads should be mandatory reading on how it was meant to be done. :)
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Yeah that threads brilliant!

I was actually thinking about one of GTAs threads earlier - one where he posted the OP in a code and the next poster had to decipher the code (eg a=z) and the idea was for a whole thread with no actual words. Almost started one too.
 
I've got my favourites, but here is a select of the "dubious" Star Wars lines from a website I found a while back.. pretty sure these could be "edited"

Top ten sexually tilted lines from the trilogy

10. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke?"
9. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
8. "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?"
7. "I never knew I had it in me."
6. "Someone must've told them about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab."
5. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me, Chewie. Chewie!" (Han) with "A little higher, just a little higher."
3. "Short help's better than no help at all."
2. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"

Taken from here


"You know this isn't a night club, this is SPAAAAATAAAAA" ;)
 
I can vouch for the overwhelming success of the following lines.

'Ooooooh, I bet you've got a right tight little ***t'

Whisper ever so gently in her ear: 'get your coat love... i've got a knife'

'i've been watching you all night, following you around a bit, and, fortunately for you, i've decided i like the the look of your little ***t.'

'come back with me now or ill rape you.'

All used with outstanding success in the student clubs of Nottingham.
 
wolseley said:
Firstly,

'Would you like to see my magic watch?' (Show her your watch).
'It's very clever, and can talk'. (Hold watch to your ear).
'It's telling me that you are very pretty'. (Hold watch to ear again).
'It's telling me that you would like me to buy you a drink'. (Hold watch to ear again).
'It's telling me that you arn't wearing any underwear!' (Look astonished, then look at the watch again, then start adjusting the time on it).
'Whoops! Sorry! It's running 2 hours fast'.
Click to expand...

Hahahaha G-G-G-GOD LIKE
 
wolseley said:
'Would you like to see my magic watch?' (Show her your watch).
'It's very clever, and can talk'. (Hold watch to your ear).
'It's telling me that you are very pretty'. (Hold watch to ear again).
'It's telling me that you would like me to buy you a drink'. (Hold watch to ear again).
'It's telling me that you arn't wearing any underwear!' (Look astonished, then look at the watch again, then start adjusting the time on it).
'Whoops! Sorry! It's running 2 hours fast'.
Click to expand...
Ahh but what if she isn't wearing underwear? Then it wouldn't work! But I suppose that means she's easy anyway.
 
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