You see the problem you have here is you're just repeating the opinion of the editors of the news sources you read. People who have actually met him tend to have nicer opinion of him, and I generally prefer first hand accounts to Daily Mail style stories.You talk like Kim's a sane rational human-being, his a ruddy psychopath.
You have to keep things in perspective, he had a military leader executed by flamethrower who was loyal to a political rival who had been plotting against him.He had O Sang-hon executed by flamethrower ***!
One of Kim's biggest problems is that he has to project an iron fist don't **** with me image to those in his own government/army who would try and overthrow him, in order to avoid a coup, while at the same time try to work with the west/SK towards fixing Korea, and those aims are sort of at odds as anything he does towards one goal injures the other.