She's long term ill and hasn't been at home for a while now.
I hear you. I think women are much more driven by emotion and hormones in their decision process when it comes to childcare. Maybe that can make the decision process more... Discombobulated? Or perhaps appear irrational to us simple men beings. I think there's a lot of societal pressure on mum's and this can feed into the typical mum guilt. What's hard is to not let disagreements on upbringing become an argument about who is right and who is wrong because really none of that matters. What matters is that everyone gets a good night's sleep, for example.
Something that irks me is what seems to be this push (by women "experts" mostly) that everything must be "baby led". Sure, let them tell you what food they want etc, but teach them they can't just have chocolate. Sure, comfort them when they cry at night, but teach them they can't get their own way every time and come in your own bed just because they want it. I hate the phrase "baby knows". Baby knows **** all. Children know what they want but adults have to teach them (and of course give them) what they need.
I'm massively generalising above, of course. All people are very different.
Have you spoken with your partner properly about her behaviour? Have you considered that she could be struggling mentally and physically and this can be the reason she appears to struggle with what should be menial tasks so much? Not making excuses, just throwing ideas out there.
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