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Soldato
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What do you mean? Teaching your child shouldn't be an issue. Behaviour is learnt. If they are acting in a way you don't want them to, then chances are they learnt that behaviour from somewhere. You can train it out of them.

Like he said, you're in charge, the child isn't.

I mean is my original point an issue?

I have no issue teaching my daughter, we like to learn new words colours objects and such.
 
Soldato
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I mean is my original point an issue?

I have no issue teaching my daughter, we like to learn new words colours objects and such.
Oh, it isn't an issue if you don't find it an issue. If you're happy for your child to call the shots so be it. Just don't complain when your precious sleep hours are gone :p

What I think we're referring to regards teaching though is more about behaviours, rather than education like words.
 
Soldato
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Oh, it isn't an issue if you don't find it an issue. If you're happy for your child to call the shots so be it. Just don't complain when your precious sleep hours are gone :p

What I think we're referring to regards teaching though is more about behaviours, rather than education like words.
My experience is certain words that are not "child friendly" seem to be the easiest they pickup:p.
 
Soldato
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Super happy George got the school we chose for him, we didn't put any alternatives, only this one school stood out to us as being suitable for him.
Can't believe he's going to school soon, doesn't seem that long ago we were sleeping at his bedside in hospital for that first 3 months.
 
Soldato
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Anyone else having a tough time with childcare at the moment?

Our Nursery just out of the blue closed one of their rooms with just 2 weeks notice, total nightmare! Apparently the entire early years care sector is struggling
Not quite the same but our childminder had a splendid idea of a log cabin for a second setting in a friends garden that had no side access. Didn't take long for the friend to turn into a distant acquaintance and a feud to begin. Presumably because all and sundry were traipsing through her front room constantly!

£25k and one log cabin later they've now learnt their lesson and... built another log cabin in another friends garden elsewhere in town :cry:
 
Caporegime
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What do you mean? Teaching your child shouldn't be an issue. Behaviour is learnt. If they are acting in a way you don't want them to, then chances are they learnt that behaviour from somewhere. You can train it out of them.

Like he said, you're in charge, the child isn't.


You're not in charge though either it seems. :cry:



We're heading for this kind of time line. Eldest is 3 and still won't settle on his own, I expect this is going to continue until he grows out of it, whenever the hell that might be. I'm sure our youngest will go the same way.

All because "I just can't do controlled crying" :rolleyes:. Who needs sleep anyway, right?
 
Associate
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Anyone else having a tough time with childcare at the moment?

Our Nursery just out of the blue closed one of their rooms with just 2 weeks notice, total nightmare! Apparently the entire early years care sector is struggling

My partner works in the industry and staff retention is really bad at the moment, the nursey workers are all on minimum wage and a lot of staff reskilled over lockdown due to this which has created a shortage of staff.
 

OG

OG

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Nearly approaching 6 months with our little one, can't really believe how quickly time has flown by. Definitely feels like we're entering into a slightly more fun stage now, plenty of smiles from him when I come home from work etc which is glorious, starting giving him solid food at lunch time and generally a bit more settled during the night. Overall 10/10 so far, would recommend.
 
Soldato
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Guys,

Can anyone explain 30 free hours childcare and tax free childcare?

I currently do the latter and reap the full £2k/per year benefit. I understand when she is between 3 and 4 we get 30 hours free childcare as well?

Does that mean I get 30 hours of her childcare for free? (9.25hrs x 4 days = 37hrs) and then the 7 hours I get via the tax free scheme?
 
Caporegime
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Guys,

Can anyone explain 30 free hours childcare and tax free childcare?

I currently do the latter and reap the full £2k/per year benefit. I understand when she is between 3 and 4 we get 30 hours free childcare as well?

Does that mean I get 30 hours of her childcare for free? (9.25hrs x 4 days = 37hrs) and then the 7 hours I get via the tax free scheme?


https://www.childcarechoices.gov.uk/

It's 30 hours per week for 38 weeks / 'a total of 1,140 hours per year'.


The rest you'd have to cover yourself but yes you can then use tax-free childcare at the same time.
 
Soldato
Joined
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Wowza. That's a pretty decent benefit!
Remember the 30 free hours are only 'term-time', so if you do year-round childcare, you have to pro-rate it down as a weekly quota as applicable. Still, it makes a heck of a difference. Until your next child starts nursery...

We're seeing our nursery struggle for staff too. Manager left recently and they haven't replaced her yet, and we get the odd cancelled day.
 
Man of Honour
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Is the £100k annual limit for free childcare per household or an individual in the household? Does it include bonuses, shares etc or is it based on salary alone?
 
Soldato
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22,247
Is the £100k annual limit for free childcare per household or an individual in the household? Does it include bonuses, shares etc or is it based on salary alone?
Adjusted net income for each individual must be below £100k. I.e. you and the Mrs earning £199,999 is grand, but don't dare earn £100,001 and £0 :D

Adjusted net is your gross salary less pension, less gift aid, less any salary sacrifice. So it must include bonusses. Shares is trickier as technically the income should be added onto your adjusted net value but then you end up tapering, exceeding £100k and paying capital gains tax. So a lot of folk play with the bull and don't declare income from investments/interest as it is taxed separately. YMMV, lube up in any case.
 
Soldato
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On the Amiga500
How did you change it then?
Put in place a regimented routine and set boundaries that my 3 Yr old will understand. Without mum around he can't act up and play us off one another either. He now knows what to expect and the repercussions if he steps out of the boundaries. I'm quite the fan of the Tonies boxes too. I read him a book and then leave him to pick his own spoken storybooks on his Tonie box whilst I leave him to it to go and do jobs downstairs/feed cats/check little one/make my own dinner/*insert any other excuse to leave him in his room here*. I'll tell him I'll pop back to check on him in X minutes and always make sure I do so he doesn't feel abandoned but lately he's usually nodded off by the first round now anyway. Not having mum about definitely makes it easier though as he'd create more by crying for her, knowing that she'll willfully come running. I found that making his room a more inviting place for him has helped a lot too. He's in to his lego avengers so the bedroom was dutifully decorated as such. It just seemed to do the trick in making him excited about bed time.

mHClojS.jpeg
o0AXy81.jpeg

drD0mth.jpeg
mdxBsZQ.jpeg

/cheapbrag


As for my 1 Yr old, I've carried out the controlled crying routine. It took just 2 nights before he had quite clearly grasped that I wasn't ever far away and that he wasn't being abandoned. I can now lay him straight down with a bottle, say night night and walk out of his room. He usually sleeps right through to morning. This is learnt behaviour, as opposed to teaching him that if he shouts enough he can sleep in my bed.

Both children sometimes still come in to me if they won't settle back off but that's parent life isn't it, you pick your battles. In comparison, our bed time routine used to be non-existent, chaotic and an outright battle where one of us would always give up and end up laying next to child until they drifted off.
 
Soldato
Joined
19 Jan 2010
Posts
4,806
Put in place a regimented routine and set boundaries that my 3 Yr old will understand. Without mum around he can't act up and play us off one another either. He now knows what to expect and the repercussions if he steps out of the boundaries. I'm quite the fan of the Tonies boxes too. I read him a book and then leave him to pick his own spoken storybooks on his Tonie box whilst I leave him to it to go and do jobs downstairs/feed cats/check little one/make my own dinner/*insert any other excuse to leave him in his room here*. I'll tell him I'll pop back to check on him in X minutes and always make sure I do so he doesn't feel abandoned but lately he's usually nodded off by the first round now anyway. Not having mum about definitely makes it easier though as he'd create more by crying for her, knowing that she'll willfully come running. I found that making his room a more inviting place for him has helped a lot too. He's in to his lego avengers so the bedroom was dutifully decorated as such. It just seemed to do the trick in making him excited about bed time.

mHClojS.jpeg
o0AXy81.jpeg

drD0mth.jpeg
mdxBsZQ.jpeg

/cheapbrag


As for my 1 Yr old, I've carried out the controlled crying routine. It took just 2 nights before he had quite clearly grasped that I wasn't ever far away and that he wasn't being abandoned. I can now lay him straight down with a bottle, say night night and walk out of his room. He usually sleeps right through to morning. This is learnt behaviour, as opposed to teaching him that if he shouts enough he can sleep in my bed.

Both children sometimes still come in to me if they won't settle back off but that's parent life isn't it, you pick your battles. In comparison, our bed time routine used to be non-existent, chaotic and an outright battle where one of us would always give up and end up laying next to child until they drifted off.
What happened to the mum?! Up and leave? I find she makes matters worse in a lot of cases in my house. I arrive to an absolute crazy house when I get back from work but as soon as I go about the bedtime routine like some crazy efficient robot everything calms down and then kids are sorted in minutes. I'm not really sure how she ends up so out of time and control of the routine, it's not like she is with them all day, she picks them up from her mum's at around 5 but by the time I'm home at around 6 she is already losing her mind
 
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