On The Wagon... then in 'ere!

I'm relieved to hear that Brenn47. Remember my e-mail address is in trust, I'm happy to talk, both generally and about what it was like for me and what things are like now if you feel like it while you recover your strength.
 
I wish you all the best brenn47 and hope you achieve the result you're looking for :) Good luck matey!

Today is a real struggle for me - kids have both ****ed me off, nothing's gone right, everything seems to be conspiring against me. I feel weepy and fed up and I just feel like having a huge tantrum -.- fml. Maybe chocolate will help. Still - 9 more minutes and the local shop shuts, so there is that :/

No real reason for the above - just venting :p
 
I'm not on the wagon per se but I'm finding that when I drink I consume far, far too much! (As in whole bottle of vodka/jager!). Needless to say I'm at the stage of swearing blind that I'll never get that drunk again!

Other than alcohol that's gone into cooking (I didn't even know tbh!) I've not had a drink since the New Year. Don't even miss it either!
 
Brenn47 said:
Yeah, it really hit home being in hospital intensive care surrounded by people who were dead or dying because of booze. The bright yellow lady scared me the most, they were just waiting for her to die. :(
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It's a fatal illness. Please get some help, there aren't many who can do it themselves. I've a horribly short memory for those things which make me uncomfortable. I need to be reminded of what happened, and what I will return to if i pick up a drink on a regular basis. I need to know every day that I can't pick up even a single drink; that I cannot drink in safety. If you have a memory like me, that if left untended, will lead you to say 'it wasn't that bad' or 'maybe this time if I just....' then you would probably benefit from getting sober in company.
 
I have that horrible short term "It wasn't THAT bad" memory ... totally forgetting about the days and days spent in intensive care wired up to heart rate monitors, oxygen monitors, drips, catheters, the x-rays and the MRI scans.

I'm giving it a damn good go this time, think I'm about 3 weeks sober now, that man who told me he had end stage liver disease will haunt me forever, just have to remember that if I ever even consider a drink.

42 in a few months .... that's the age when people who drink a lot start popping their clogs! :/

Oh I'm just waiting to hear back from the local drug & alcohol support group, although when I went there to sign up, all the other people there were off there heads on drugs, I was the only sober one there.
 
Brenn47 said:
I have that horrible short term "It wasn't THAT bad" memory ... totally forgetting about the days and days spent in intensive care wired up to heart rate monitors, oxygen monitors, drips, catheters, the x-rays and the MRI scans.

I'm giving it a damn good go this time, think I'm about 3 weeks sober now, that man who told me he had end stage liver disease will haunt me forever, just have to remember that if I ever even consider a drink.

42 in a few months .... that's the age when people who drink a lot start popping their clogs! :/

Oh I'm just waiting to hear back from the local drug & alcohol support group, although when I went there to sign up, all the other people there were off there heads on drugs, I was the only sober one there.
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So what are you doing today that's different from your previous attempts to stop?

Good luck with your drug and alcohol support group, I hope it works for you. When's your first meeting?
 
I'm just waiting to be contacted by the support group, they said it takes around 2 weeks then their *treatment* starts and takes place bi-weekly. Not sure what it entails.

Not doing anything different to be honest, just a strong desire NOT to get drunk again, I think the 4 day stay in Critical Care scared me, they told my dad that my heart could stop any minute due to the electrolyte imbalance. Didn't tell me. Back home now, still feel a bit rough, read through my discharge notes, it would appear I've buggered my kidneys and I have Acute Kidney Injury (AKI) that they're concerned about.

All this fun for a bottle of Scotch! :(
 
Brenn47 said:
I'm just waiting to be contacted by the support group, they said it takes around 2 weeks then their *treatment* starts and takes place bi-weekly. Not sure what it entails.

Not doing anything different to be honest, just a strong desire NOT to get drunk again, I think the 4 day stay in Critical Care scared me, they told my dad that my heart could stop any minute due to the electrolyte imbalance. Didn't tell me. Back home now, still feel a bit rough, read through my discharge notes, it would appear I've buggered my kidneys and I have Acute Kidney Injury (AKI) that they're concerned about.

All this fun for a bottle of Scotch! :(
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Not meaning to be rude, and genuinely not judging but I'm going to pose the question to hopefully make you think; if you're not doing anything differently, why won't you get the same result you did last time? I assume you meant it when you said you'd recieved enough of a scare to really mean you were on the wagon the last few times you've said it, and then you've drunk. If you're doing the same thing again, won't you get the same result?

I urge you not to fall into the trap of doing the same things and hoping for different results. 'Something different' doesn't have to be AA if you don't think it will work for you, just please find something else that does.
 
I know it seems I'm doing nothing different, but this is one of the things you can really only do yourself. This last hospital stay really has put the fear of God in me, I guess as I was in Critical Care for 4 days they really were worried I was going to die.

Once the treatment starts with the local support group I should be ok, If you miss their meetings you get banned and they'll not help you anymore, which is a bit of a motivator to stay off the booze and attend all meetings.

No idea what their meetings are about, but I've nothing else left to lose.
 
Brenn47 said:
I know it seems I'm doing nothing different, but this is one of the things you can really only do yourself. This last hospital stay really has put the fear of God in me, I guess as I was in Critical Care for 4 days they really were worried I was going to die.

Once the treatment starts with the local support group I should be ok, If you miss their meetings you get banned and they'll not help you anymore, which is a bit of a motivator to stay off the booze and attend all meetings.

No idea what their meetings are about, but I've nothing else left to lose.
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I disagree that it's something you can only do yourself. You need to want to get and stay sober and only you can put the work in, but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone. I failed every time I tried to 'go it alone'. It was only when I reached out for help that I finally got sober.

As I said above, the point of the question was only to make you think. It's your life, and your alcohol problem. How you deal with it is up to you. All I wanted to make you think.
 
I guess this days been coming a long time even though the drinking only really got out of hand last year. Luckily my liver still functions well so I'm lucky there.
 
Quick post here ,not judging anybody at all ,just telling my story !!
Right where do I start !!,ok I met my ex many years ago ,fell in love etc ,had a few good years ,then things took a downward turn ,noticed the excess drinking ,late nights etc ,there was always an excuse etc ,fast forward a year ,we split up .
Foolishly got back together 2 months later ,then she dropped the bombshell ,she was pregnant ,it wasn't mine ,I decided to take the child on as my own .

Once the child was born ,things took a rapid turn for the worse, ultimately ending with me getting her removed from my house by the police and into custody for the night, with me telling the police explicitly that she would not be allowed back into my house !!
The following day I received a phone call from the police ,informing me that after her release from custody ,she had tried to rob the local off licence with a knife she had stolen ,telling the owner to give her a bottle of vodka and 20 cigarettes !!
She was arrested ,and went to court and was given a 2 year sentence, she had lost her job earlier in the year (she was an accountant on a very good wage ,she was fired for abusing the company credit card, she told me she had been made redundant ,I found the letter telling the truth months later !!)

Upon her release ,she was put into a bail hostel ,along with a junkie ,3 weeks later ,they both smashed the bail hostel up ,cut their tags off and went on the run ,was found 3 days later ,and put back in prison for the remainder of the 2 year sentence.

Upon release I applied for a residency order for the child ,this was granted ,as she was seen to be unfit to care for him .
The child ,my son ,has since been diagnosed with Dyspraxia ,most probably caused by his mother drinking whilst pregnant, he is now 9 years old ,and has had no contact with his mother since he was 4 , I have been as open about everything as possible with him ,and one of the first things he said to me when I told him about the situation ,was (Why didn't you kick her out earlier !!!)
Im not looking for sympathy or anything else over this post ,it is what it is , but the facts are this , a young woman has lost her son ,her job ,her driving licence ,her health etc ,all through drink !!
Take care everyone
 
wez68 said:
Im not looking for sympathy or anything else over this post ,it is what it is , but the facts are this , a young woman has lost her son ,her job ,her driving licence ,her health etc ,all through drink !!
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This is a sad story. Particularly sad is that your son may have been affected through no fault of his own. Children being affected by their mother's drinking whilst pregnant is a very tragic issue.

If you asked me, drinking culture in the UK is out of control. Not that I used to drink much, but I now no longer drink at all. Anyone that is trying to give up in this thread, do yourself a favour and find the willpower to kick it, your life will get much much better for it.
 
I'm back in here now following hospital treatment for another arrhythmia. Again, this was caused by too much alcohol since just before xmas. Same as Brenn47, too much alcohol daily caused an electrolyte imbalance, which kicked off an atrial flutter. Doc said it's not just alcohol, the situation is exacerbated by the fact that heavy drinkers tend not to eat properly either, which doesn't help the situation with electrolytes.

Had my heart shocked back into sinus rhythm and feel OK now, but I can't carry on drinking like I did. I'm not an alcoholic, I just get very bored easily and turn to drinking nightly to relieve it. I don't need a drink just to function though.

I don't want to give up completely, I just need to get sensible. Even the doc said my alcohol intake is not at the level whereby total cessation is the only way to improve things. I'm going to stop drinking indoors and luckily, the family will help me by banning any alcohol from the house until I have a better handle on things. Once I have it under control then maybe I can maintain a healthy intake rather than getting sloshed most nights.
 
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