Paying for your own meal at a wedding?

[SexyGreyFox]

Not everyone lives in Stoke, for a couple in London 60k is a pretty minor amount.

60K would make us millionaires in Stoke

 

[Deleted member 66701]

Not everyone lives in Stoke, for a couple in London 60k is a pretty minor amount.

So self imposed poverty through poor life choices?

I suppose that's like those on the dole?

 

[dowie]

a bit, though a lot of people on the dole are more prone to whining about it

 

[Craig1981]

Never. Bloody cheek in my opinion.

Is this close family or a friend? Personally I'd be inclined to tell them that either they pay for the meal or you won't be attending.

 

[Buffman]

So self imposed poverty through poor life choices?

I suppose that's like those on the dole?

How do you even extract that from the quote?

I was just pointing out blanket saying "X is loads of money" when you live in one of the cheapest areas to live in the country is slightly narrow minded. Just see all the northerners getting upset when they see the rent prices in that London thread.

I think most will agree it's a bit crass to ask for money, however the way they have done it is a particularly bad example. For the OP however I would suck it up, it's only 20quid unless you're hard up.

 

[BrightonBelle]

Has the OP has any more information?

OP are there any mutual friends that you can discuss with?

BB x

 

[Semple]

To be fair you'd spend the price of the meal on a wedding gift anyway. So pay for your own meal and give them just a card. If you're close friends then you might want to get them something extra. But anything else would just be a card, they can't expect you to pay for your own meal and buy them a gift.

Edit: Just had a thought - not sure if it's already been mentioned. Was the email personally addressed to you? Do you know if all the other guests have to pay for their meals?

 

[yer_averagejoe]

I'm not sure I'd be that offended tbh. I'd just subtract it from the cost of a gift and let them have their day. It's not like it'll be a common occurrence.

 

[Jim99]

From my POV whilst it sounds a bit off, it's more transparent than giving a cash gift that's roughly equivalent to the price of the catering.

TBH it's not extortionate either, catering for a wedding can easily be 40-50 pp. So I would do it, but I wouldn't give a gift on top.

 

[mattyg]

LOL that is ridiculous. Two peoples wedding is suppose to be at THEIR expense, not at everyone Else's.

Really! Have you priced up the cost as a guest!!!!!!

We recently went to a wedding and with hotel, Travel, New outfits, The wifes hair etc etc etc and then a £60 gift the weekend cost us the best part of £600.

So to all my friends. I'm thinking of getting married but if you all send me £400 i'll scrap the idea

 

[Nevakonaza]

I could totally understand them asking for money if they could barely just afford the wedding,BUT because you say they earn a good 60K i don't think they're too hard up surely.

 

[ikillbears]

I dont think its unfair really. If it irks you that much just deduct it from any gift you give. As for the 60k comment. for all you know they could have a large mortgage, debt to pay off. who knows. its not always cut and dry! Also, it's only £23!!!! hardly paying off greece's debt

 

[Ricochet J]

After my experience with organisaing and costing my wedding, I would be more than happy and understanding in paying toward my meal. If OP not happy with it then don't go. Quite simple really.

 

[kaptainmarc]

If you don't want to pay then don't go.
I'm getting married abroad so only close family/bridesmaids/groomsmen are coming all had to pay their own way. My philosophy is that if you don't want to pay then you don't want to come. Otherwise you just end up paying a fortune for other people to come get ****ed and have crap small talk with.
The wedding will still happen either way

 

[TommyV]

You can just source them a letterbox as a gift, and poo through it.

 

[DJMK4]

Bring your own food, lol

They could also want people to help pay rather than spend it on gifts for them etc.

Does seem a little odd though

 

[BuffetSlayer]

Hell no, it would be like inviting someone round for dinner then asking them to cook it!

I would rather not invite people than expect them to pay for their own meals. Is this some kind of modern trend?

If on the receiving end of a request for money for food, I would suddenly realise that actually I had something on that day and couldn't make it!

 

[RyanF]

Bring your own food, lol

Oh please do this; turn up with a KFC bargain bucket. The looks you would receive

 

[cainer]

i wouldnt mind if it had been mentioned in the invite, but to message guests months after the invites have been sent and just a few weeks before the wedding asking for money is taking the micky

 

[Scam]

I think it's pretty poor form. If they can't afford to host it, then they should have downsized or done something different. Simple as.

Guests already pay for travel, accommodation etc. What's next, asking for £100 upfront to fund their honeymoon trip around the world for 6 weeks?

Reminds me when I went to a wedding with friends from Uni. We were convinced we weren't invited to the meal etc, so on the way back from the service we grabbed some sandwiches from a garage and started scoffing them in the hotel room and watching telly. Once we'd eaten we got a phonecall from the bride's brother who was like 'where are you guys we're about to start serving'. So after stuffing our faces with sandwiches and crisps etc we then had to go down and politely eat 4 courses Set us up well for the free bar, mind!