Context.
Post your past or recent Chav Stories...
- Thread starter Richdog
- Start date
Context.
I was walking along with a mate to his local when I was visiting him a month or two back in Newcastle.
We rounded a corner and there was a car in the middle of the road beeping and a chav standing a foot or two in front shouting (I paraphrase as his words were on barely decipherable chav) "you can't get past what are you going to do about it you mug" and he was laughing.
As we were walking by the guy clearly lost his patience and just revved and sped at the chav, the chav only partially dodged and the guy caught his leg, sending him spinning into a parked car and on the deck. The guy just drove away calmly and the chav jumped up screaming (again I paraphrase chav into English) "I can't believe he just did that, he ran me over for no reason."
I thought it was hilarious and just a shame the guy didn't kill him to help clean up the gene pool a little.
We rounded a corner and there was a car in the middle of the road beeping and a chav standing a foot or two in front shouting (I paraphrase as his words were on barely decipherable chav) "you can't get past what are you going to do about it you mug" and he was laughing.
As we were walking by the guy clearly lost his patience and just revved and sped at the chav, the chav only partially dodged and the guy caught his leg, sending him spinning into a parked car and on the deck. The guy just drove away calmly and the chav jumped up screaming (again I paraphrase chav into English) "I can't believe he just did that, he ran me over for no reason."
I thought it was hilarious and just a shame the guy didn't kill him to help clean up the gene pool a little.
Inspired by the eloquence of datalol-jack I thought I may detail some of the questionable antics that I have seen during my life in Reading.
The first that comes to mind is the somewhat shocking realisation that my own father may of the very class we choose to mock, a chav in hiding shall we say. Not more than 10 minutes to five on a cold but pleasant summers day, I was riding shotgun to my 50 something mother in her aged but well kept Saab. By my own lack of attention, I was not forewarned by the droning clamour of an oncoming 4 cylinder focus, fart can equipped and ready to cause a local disturbance. Through his own evident lack of talent, the distinguished pilot of this fine automotive specimen lost control as he crested a minor hillock. Our necessary evasive action led to the forced de-pressurisation of two tyres. With the desire only for reasonable conversation, I engaged the gentleman who felt compelled to rebuff with distasteful language - as then did I myself.
Thinking the matter complete, I swiftly attended to the vehicles requirements and returned to my abode. It was later a knock at the door disturbed me from some prime quality televisual programming, I opened to find none other than the same miscreant and 3 of his associates (all 10 years his junior) posturing for a physical challenge of my earlier profanity. Before even the meekest of reactions had surfaced my face, my respectable senior IT director father - a man of more words than actions, flew past ablaze with anger and a distinct lack of shirt - into the inky black night. Spit flying from his mouth, inches from the now terrified young gentleman his suit trousers betrayed his demeanour.
As shock set in, cans of stella were dropped and threats were made - posturing wildly the young gentleman had no choice but to walk backwards as my short, rounded beer gut wielding father continued his onslaught, fuelled by the endangerment of his wife, and years of upcoming in Londons EC2 reigon, Hackney. As I stood in shock, the assailant turned and ran, shouting threats he would never honour - and I finally knew the true man behind my fathers beard.
Editing....
The first that comes to mind is the somewhat shocking realisation that my own father may of the very class we choose to mock, a chav in hiding shall we say. Not more than 10 minutes to five on a cold but pleasant summers day, I was riding shotgun to my 50 something mother in her aged but well kept Saab. By my own lack of attention, I was not forewarned by the droning clamour of an oncoming 4 cylinder focus, fart can equipped and ready to cause a local disturbance. Through his own evident lack of talent, the distinguished pilot of this fine automotive specimen lost control as he crested a minor hillock. Our necessary evasive action led to the forced de-pressurisation of two tyres. With the desire only for reasonable conversation, I engaged the gentleman who felt compelled to rebuff with distasteful language - as then did I myself.
Thinking the matter complete, I swiftly attended to the vehicles requirements and returned to my abode. It was later a knock at the door disturbed me from some prime quality televisual programming, I opened to find none other than the same miscreant and 3 of his associates (all 10 years his junior) posturing for a physical challenge of my earlier profanity. Before even the meekest of reactions had surfaced my face, my respectable senior IT director father - a man of more words than actions, flew past ablaze with anger and a distinct lack of shirt - into the inky black night. Spit flying from his mouth, inches from the now terrified young gentleman his suit trousers betrayed his demeanour.
As shock set in, cans of stella were dropped and threats were made - posturing wildly the young gentleman had no choice but to walk backwards as my short, rounded beer gut wielding father continued his onslaught, fuelled by the endangerment of his wife, and years of upcoming in Londons EC2 reigon, Hackney. As I stood in shock, the assailant turned and ran, shouting threats he would never honour - and I finally knew the true man behind my fathers beard.
Editing....
Yep it's called all the little villages around Wolves that still come under a WV postcode, there's some really nice places once you venture far enough from the center
Working security at raves in Digbeth means I've come across plenty of chavs/wannabes/guys who would shoot you rather than talk to you.
99% are all mouth and no trousers, .5% might actually have the bottle to go for it if they're in a group until you put the loudest one on his arse and the other .5% are the last lot which you hope you recognise before it gets hairy.
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That's probably because the chavs get given their money for free (or have most likely robbed it), unlike the uni students who have to work nights on top of their studies just to make ends meet
The most memorable Chav experience didn't happen to me, but my misses.
She was on a train into Manchester and i was waiting in the centre. In the carriage there was her, another girl and three low lifes.
They discussed how they would procreate with the girl but would have to put a bag on her head, and other hurtful comments ect.
My girlfriend stood up for the girl, one of them approached her and cut through her jeans and broke her skin with a knife, drawing some blood.
They got off the train before her, so I couldn't react by calling the police.
She now never rides the train alone.
Be careful with these people, they are the pits of society but are still dangerous.
EDIT; I don't know how I would have reacted if I was with her, 6 o clock news perhaps..I suspect leaving the carriage would be the right course of action
She was on a train into Manchester and i was waiting in the centre. In the carriage there was her, another girl and three low lifes.
They discussed how they would procreate with the girl but would have to put a bag on her head, and other hurtful comments ect.
My girlfriend stood up for the girl, one of them approached her and cut through her jeans and broke her skin with a knife, drawing some blood.
They got off the train before her, so I couldn't react by calling the police.
She now never rides the train alone.
Be careful with these people, they are the pits of society but are still dangerous.
EDIT; I don't know how I would have reacted if I was with her, 6 o clock news perhaps..I suspect leaving the carriage would be the right course of action
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I get the tram to and from work - the from work being the more 'entertaining' one.
Last week a chav couple <Chav and Chavette> got on the tram arguing about how her friend and his mate were out of order and why should they get a council house first etc.
During said argument, the chav had did the usual chav thing with his hands in his pant's
Now the tram home has a mix of people - one elderly lady made a small tutting noise about his actions ina public place, to which the chavette started raging at her about mind her own business and old people are a drain on society etc.
Perfect timeing though as the tram pulls into the tram stop right out side one of the manchester police stations and 4 officers step onboard.
I've not seen people run as quick off a tram. It'd did make me laugh
Last week a chav couple <Chav and Chavette> got on the tram arguing about how her friend and his mate were out of order and why should they get a council house first etc.
During said argument, the chav had did the usual chav thing with his hands in his pant's
Now the tram home has a mix of people - one elderly lady made a small tutting noise about his actions ina public place, to which the chavette started raging at her about mind her own business and old people are a drain on society etc.
Perfect timeing though as the tram pulls into the tram stop right out side one of the manchester police stations and 4 officers step onboard.
I've not seen people run as quick off a tram. It'd did make me laugh
Soldato
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Well I have no idea about the gang situation in Buckinghamshire, and I wont pretend to either, so don't pretend you know the situation in London either.
London's well publicised gang culture, knife crime, gun crime, postcode wars, etc. is certainly going to be a big secret to you if you're outside the M25 isn't it.
When I lived in London I had mates from Forest Gate, Leyton, Leytonstone, Canning Town etc. Some of these people were involved in things no mother would be proud of. I don't think people realise how rough London gets.
Soldato
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Thread rides again! 
Isn't Asim the man to go to for rapid delivery of small firearms and miscellaneous artefacts of London's gang culture? Isn't he the East End Vigilante? A distant memory of my OCUK lurker days stirs...
I say! One shan't watch Dickensian the same way ever again!
Dear sir, my warmest salutations to the gentleman in question! I trust he fought by Queensberry rules, foregoing the gloves at such short notice?
Tbf, I don't believe in generalizing from a few fools and violent thugs to condemn an entire demographic, who may fit a few common stereotypes. The popular media can do this well enough by themselves. Just because a person is working class or unemployed, doesn't make them the spawn of Satan. But the fools and violent thugs who do silly things, out of a rotten life or just plain ignorance or prejudice, to act out in public are funny! Hence the many anecdotes people accumulate -- it's not the sort of behaviour you'd expect to encounter in your daily routine often (unless you reside in Wolv., I jest).
Some violent wannabe gangsters can also be perfectly decent when sober or not self-medicating with drugs; but it doesn't excuse petty crime, asb or serious incidents they get involved in when they are in their 'hard' mode or act in a gang. I get that, and my sincerest hope is that most of them grow out of it before they do real harm and end up locked up, which more than anything else can ruin both their life and that of the victim, for often no good reason whatsoever. Hate is too strong a word.
However, it's impossible to condone the intimidation, the violence and the social damage. If people act like human beings, and participate constructively in society, they shall be treated as such.
She did the right thing. But it couldn't hurt to get the guard's attention. I know they aren't always available, yet it's within their remit to keep the peace on the train and get the Transport Police involved should things go south.
This is also why I don't recommend the 'smash their face in first' approach: report crime to the police; de-escalate if you can; protect yourself if you can't; and remove yourself from situations with weapons etc asap. As tom_e says, there's always that .5% which could make your life harder than it should be, or ruin it entirely. As a bouncer you may fare better than the average joe, but it never hurts to think before you act (something the other side doesn't seem to do that often, which is half their problem
).
Isn't Asim the man to go to for rapid delivery of small firearms and miscellaneous artefacts of London's gang culture? Isn't he the East End Vigilante? A distant memory of my OCUK lurker days stirs...I say! One shan't watch Dickensian the same way ever again!
Dear sir, my warmest salutations to the gentleman in question! I trust he fought by Queensberry rules, foregoing the gloves at such short notice?
stopper said:
Tbf, I don't believe in generalizing from a few fools and violent thugs to condemn an entire demographic, who may fit a few common stereotypes. The popular media can do this well enough by themselves. Just because a person is working class or unemployed, doesn't make them the spawn of Satan. But the fools and violent thugs who do silly things, out of a rotten life or just plain ignorance or prejudice, to act out in public are funny! Hence the many anecdotes people accumulate -- it's not the sort of behaviour you'd expect to encounter in your daily routine often (unless you reside in Wolv.
, I jest). Some violent wannabe gangsters can also be perfectly decent when sober or not self-medicating with drugs; but it doesn't excuse petty crime, asb or serious incidents they get involved in when they are in their 'hard' mode or act in a gang. I get that, and my sincerest hope is that most of them grow out of it before they do real harm and end up locked up, which more than anything else can ruin both their life and that of the victim, for often no good reason whatsoever. Hate is too strong a word.
However, it's impossible to condone the intimidation, the violence and the social damage. If people act like human beings, and participate constructively in society, they shall be treated as such.
chris_h said:
She did the right thing. But it couldn't hurt to get the guard's attention. I know they aren't always available, yet it's within their remit to keep the peace on the train and get the Transport Police involved should things go south.
This is also why I don't recommend the 'smash their face in first' approach: report crime to the police; de-escalate if you can; protect yourself if you can't; and remove yourself from situations with weapons etc asap. As tom_e says, there's always that .5% which could make your life harder than it should be, or ruin it entirely. As a bouncer you may fare better than the average joe, but it never hurts to think before you act (something the other side doesn't seem to do that often, which is half their problem
).
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Stockport was nothing like I was expecting, moved here a few months ago, it's really nice lol. Was expecting more chavs before I came and viewed the place. Maybe it's because I'm in the Heatons area.
This is comedy gold
Careful now, I believe he's still only 2 minutes away from getting a comedy gold plated mac-10 at any given time.
My chav exposure is, unfortunately, a daily occurrence as I live next door to one.
His front 'garden' looks like the local fly tipping site and the house (bungalow), with it's boarded up windows, makeshift roof tile (what looks like a white cushion forced into a gap left by the previously broken tile) and broken glass on the floor from aforementioned boarded up window makes the whole area look crap. It's been like that for years now :/
His front 'garden' looks like the local fly tipping site and the house (bungalow), with it's boarded up windows, makeshift roof tile (what looks like a white cushion forced into a gap left by the previously broken tile) and broken glass on the floor from aforementioned boarded up window makes the whole area look crap. It's been like that for years now :/
This is comedy gold
I can only assume there were mac-10's involved at some point
Soldato
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Had a similar neighbour once. The master bedroom of his property shared a wall with my rented room. Nice fellow. Always said hello. Loved to DJ during sensible hours. Would beat up his wife every other night over a cuppa.
His wife got a restraining order eventually. He vanished for a while. Came back. They made wild love... and then he bashed her head in again the next morning because their dog was barking to be let out.
Soldato
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Had a similar neighbour once. The master bedroom of his property shared a wall with my rented room. Nice fellow. Always said hello. Loved to DJ during sensible hours. Would beat up his wife every other night over a cuppa.
Still a better love story than...
Soldato
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I thought about adding a Twilight/50 Shades joke, but it may've been below the belt somewhat...
'You wat, mate? Huh, hu, hurr! You startin'?!'
Ill be fair and it may be wrong to say it but if someone broke into my house and i had a hammer as my first reasonable line of defense im unsure if i could stop how much damage happens. Wouldn't ever go for someones head but if all the bones in a hand were to somehow get damaged i wouldn't feel bad about it.
Im unsure what the law defies as reasonable defense in a home intrusion but aslong as u don't attempt to kill them unless theyre capable to kill you i can't see an issue?