Rampant lies grown-ups told you.

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[DOD]Asprilla said:
A swan can break your arm All time classic and I've yet to see the documented proof (although I'm not going close enough to disprove it though experimentation).
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I have seen 3 gang up on a cow and drown it.
 
my mum used to say to me , when i used to winge saying its not fair! her reply would be "Dark haired people never are!" (she had pitch black hair at the time).


Rotters
 
rotters said:
my mum used to say to me , when i used to winge saying its not fair! her reply would be "Dark haired people never are!" (she had pitch black hair at the time).
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Yeah, I got something similar from my dad.

"Thats not fair!"
"Neither is a black cows arse son."

Always confused me, which was probably the point.

My grandad, of course, being of the racism-is-okay generation, tended to use:

"Neither is a ******'s arse"

Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.
 
GTA said:
Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.
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LOL sorry shouldnt laugh but that did make me laugh quite loudly:D:p
 
"IF YOU EAT APPLE PIPS TREES WILL GROW IN YOU"

ME TOO!!!... I was so gutted when nothing grew! I really wanted to be the first kid to have roots growing out of me ears... I thought I could go on the news or something :)

My older brother once told me that if I got into the suitcase in my nans bedroom and let him shut it up for a second I'd be able to have lot's of sweets from the shop. He shut it up, shuved me under the bed and left me there for hours....and hours... until I was found... I could have died looking back :p
 
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Belmit said:
Hehe, just remembered one that I used to tell my brother (although I was by no means an adult at the time). I used to tell him that I wasn't me and that I was a robot version of me, but I'd seen the real me in the kitchen/lounge/bathroom. When he ran off to find me, I'd run to another room and act astonished when he found me and explained that there was a robot version of me walking around. :D
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Belmit said:
Reminds me of another; told my bro Shredded Wheat was made from spider's legs! Yum yum. God I was a terrible brother...
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You are a proper arse - I still don't like to eat Shredded Wheat, just in case.

I was once sat in lounge smacking myself in the face with my toy diplodocus when my dad came and remarked :"What are you doing! That's not a toy you know?"

I still remember his slightly sheepish expression as he realised the absurdity of what he'd said.
 
Syph0n said:
If you eat the pips an apple tree will grow in your stomach!
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Lol!.. I got told the same thing, My Dad said that he once ate the pips as a child and had roots grow out his ears!!! LOL.. He was like yeah I have photos and everything! :p :D

;)
 
Kodiak said:
That beetroot juice trick sounds like something your should do before a medical exam.

If you swallow chewing gum, you'll die 'cos the gum gets tangled in you intestines.
Complete ******.
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I really believed that and was always scared to chew it
 
El Gringo said:
If you swallow your gum it'll stick to your insides
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Ive been told a variation of this one...

If you swallow your gum it'll block up your stomach...

I won't have chewing gum or bubble gum now for this very purpose, even though I know this wont happen after watching my mate Dave swallow his chewing gum on many occasion.
 
A good Harry Hill one is the story of his mean dad, who'd tell them the crust was the only edible part of a pie, with the filling being very poisonous to children. :D
 
I can remember 2

Don't pick your nose or your head will cave in!!

I can also remember asking my mum why the sun didn't melt all the snow at skiing resorts and she told me that it was a 'different type of snow that didn't melt'

:rolleyes:
 
Longbow said:
Eating carrots make you able to see in the dark - Another ploy to get children to eat vegetables.
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Right, don't want to take this OT, but need someone to tell me that I'm not going crazy... does anyone remember (few years ago now) a big health kick which tried to encourage kids to eat vegetables by adding flavourings - hence chocolate flavoured carrots, and pizza flavoured brocolli/sweetcorn. No one I ask seems to remember this! Can't help thinking that it was all a big April Fools that I only just got... :(
 
GTA said:
Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.
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Roffloffloffle.

If you hold your pee in, it'll turn solid inside your bladder and you'll need surgery
Cheers Mum, I had visions of this happening over a timescale of mere minutes.

There are no clouds in Greece
Grandad intent on making me look like a tool infront of my 8 year old chums.

My Mum & Dad also had the unnerving habit of taking me and my sister out for food of an evening, then pretending out loud to each other that neither had any cash to pay for the meal. My Dad would then tell us not to look anyone in the eye while he made a diversion, or to run and grab the coats so we could get away fast, before paying for the meal. He did this a few times and every time I was so petrified we'd all get slung in jail

Another one, walking through the village one evening and a car did a great big burnout at the side of the road. Of course, when I asked him "How do you do that" he didn't tell the truth, he just said "Remove your brain and leave it on the sideboard"
 
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