Rampant lies grown-ups told you.

lukechad · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:21

[DOD]Asprilla said:
A swan can break your arm All time classic and I've yet to see the documented proof (although I'm not going close enough to disprove it though experimentation).

I have seen 3 gang up on a cow and drown it.

rotters · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:22

my mum used to say to me , when i used to winge saying its not fair! her reply would be "Dark haired people never are!" (she had pitch black hair at the time).

Rotters

GTA · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:31

rotters said:
my mum used to say to me , when i used to winge saying its not fair! her reply would be "Dark haired people never are!" (she had pitch black hair at the time).

Yeah, I got something similar from my dad.

"Thats not fair!"
"Neither is a black cows arse son."

Always confused me, which was probably the point.

My grandad, of course, being of the racism-is-okay generation, tended to use:

"Neither is a ******'s arse"

Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.

Yas786 · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:35

GTA said:
Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.

LOL sorry shouldnt laugh but that did make me laugh quite loudly

Aliboy · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:43

lukechad said:
I have seen 3 gang up on a cow and drown it.

Yeah, but they had flick knives

Lowra · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:51

"IF YOU EAT APPLE PIPS TREES WILL GROW IN YOU"

ME TOO!!!... I was so gutted when nothing grew! I really wanted to be the first kid to have roots growing out of me ears... I thought I could go on the news or something

My older brother once told me that if I got into the suitcase in my nans bedroom and let him shut it up for a second I'd be able to have lot's of sweets from the shop. He shut it up, shuved me under the bed and left me there for hours....and hours... until I was found... I could have died looking back

Volcs · 26 Apr 2005 at 15:54

Belmit said:
Hehe, just remembered one that I used to tell my brother (although I was by no means an adult at the time). I used to tell him that I wasn't me and that I was a robot version of me, but I'd seen the real me in the kitchen/lounge/bathroom. When he ran off to find me, I'd run to another room and act astonished when he found me and explained that there was a robot version of me walking around.

Belmit said:
Reminds me of another; told my bro Shredded Wheat was made from spider's legs! Yum yum. God I was a terrible brother...

You are a proper arse - I still don't like to eat Shredded Wheat, just in case.

I was once sat in lounge smacking myself in the face with my toy diplodocus when my dad came and remarked :"What are you doing! That's not a toy you know?"

I still remember his slightly sheepish expression as he realised the absurdity of what he'd said.

Belmit · 26 Apr 2005 at 16:01

Volcs said:
I still don't like to eat Shredded Wheat, just in case.

TomaHawk · 26 Apr 2005 at 16:04

Syph0n said:
If you eat the pips an apple tree will grow in your stomach!

Lol!.. I got told the same thing, My Dad said that he once ate the pips as a child and had roots grow out his ears!!! LOL.. He was like yeah I have photos and everything!

The_Blue_Dragon · 26 Apr 2005 at 16:26

Kodiak said:
That beetroot juice trick sounds like something your should do before a medical exam.

If you swallow chewing gum, you'll die 'cos the gum gets tangled in you intestines.
Complete ******.

I really believed that and was always scared to chew it

Lowra · 26 Apr 2005 at 16:28

Mainframe said:
I really believed that and was always scared to chew it

it is true isn't it? except you probably wouldn't die. but it ain't too good for you.

Andr3w · 26 Apr 2005 at 16:32

when you poop after slowing chewing gum,you can blow bubbles from your bum!

Zom · 26 Apr 2005 at 16:35

Andr3w said:
when you poop after slowing chewing gum,you can blow bubbles from your bum!

LOL everyone knows thats only possible with bubble gum!

Kaed · 26 Apr 2005 at 17:26

El Gringo said:
If you swallow your gum it'll stick to your insides

Ive been told a variation of this one...

If you swallow your gum it'll block up your stomach...

I won't have chewing gum or bubble gum now for this very purpose, even though I know this wont happen after watching my mate Dave swallow his chewing gum on many occasion.

Feek · 26 Apr 2005 at 17:31

Otacon said:
Yours was Jasper Carrot iirc?

Yup, as are some of the others.

K.

Syph · 26 Apr 2005 at 17:34

A good Harry Hill one is the story of his mean dad, who'd tell them the crust was the only edible part of a pie, with the filling being very poisonous to children.

G-MAN2004 · 26 Apr 2005 at 18:06

"you will get square eyes looking at that for too long" i always get told this one when im on the computer too long

CChrisca · 26 Apr 2005 at 18:18

I can remember 2

Don't pick your nose or your head will cave in!!

I can also remember asking my mum why the sun didn't melt all the snow at skiing resorts and she told me that it was a 'different type of snow that didn't melt'

:rolleyes:

Catriona · 26 Apr 2005 at 18:22

Longbow said:
Eating carrots make you able to see in the dark - Another ploy to get children to eat vegetables.

Right, don't want to take this OT, but need someone to tell me that I'm not going crazy... does anyone remember (few years ago now) a big health kick which tried to encourage kids to eat vegetables by adding flavourings - hence chocolate flavoured carrots, and pizza flavoured brocolli/sweetcorn. No one I ask seems to remember this! Can't help thinking that it was all a big April Fools that I only just got...

Lopéz · 26 Apr 2005 at 18:24

GTA said:
Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.

Roffloffloffle.

If you hold your pee in, it'll turn solid inside your bladder and you'll need surgery
Cheers Mum, I had visions of this happening over a timescale of mere minutes.

There are no clouds in Greece
Grandad intent on making me look like a tool infront of my 8 year old chums.

My Mum & Dad also had the unnerving habit of taking me and my sister out for food of an evening, then pretending out loud to each other that neither had any cash to pay for the meal. My Dad would then tell us not to look anyone in the eye while he made a diversion, or to run and grab the coats so we could get away fast, before paying for the meal. He did this a few times and every time I was so petrified we'd all get slung in jail

Another one, walking through the village one evening and a car did a great big burnout at the side of the road. Of course, when I asked him "How do you do that" he didn't tell the truth, he just said "Remove your brain and leave it on the sideboard"

Rampant lies grown-ups told you.

Man of Honour