Relationship disaster - help
- Thread starter Surfer
- Start date
jeez man.... crazy women 
so we had another chat today...basically she wouldnt budge at all on any of the things i mentioned were troubling me. The sex before marriage thing she said i should respect her and sex without love/marriage is just sex (and i get the impression she has a dirty impression of that) without feelings at all so she seems to think. So theres no commitment you just do it with anyone.
The religion thing, even though she accepted in the last discussion not to push this on me (her asking me to pray (at mealtime and bedtime) wanting me to go to church etc) she still does it....
So anyway after our conversation tonight i said i would not be sleeping in her room but in my own room. She seems to accept this but 20 mins later she comes to my door and tries to force me to come to her room and sleep in her bed with her but just show some discipline and not try anything on with her. (ie kissing, fondling etc)
So spent 40 mins trying to get her to go to her own room to sleep.
Have only just now succeeded.....:/ If i dont wake up tomorrow then i reckon its because she has killed me with a knife or smt in my sleep.
*i will try and quietly lock my door without her hearing*
its going over and over in my head how all this has happened after 1 - 1/2 weeks
and even then only about 4 ish days where we sorta acknowledged we liked each other (well she said she loved me...)
If i survive this...its a lesson learnt i'll tell you that....
so we had another chat today...basically she wouldnt budge at all on any of the things i mentioned were troubling me. The sex before marriage thing she said i should respect her and sex without love/marriage is just sex (and i get the impression she has a dirty impression of that) without feelings at all so she seems to think. So theres no commitment you just do it with anyone.
The religion thing, even though she accepted in the last discussion not to push this on me (her asking me to pray (at mealtime and bedtime) wanting me to go to church etc) she still does it....
So anyway after our conversation tonight i said i would not be sleeping in her room but in my own room. She seems to accept this but 20 mins later she comes to my door and tries to force me to come to her room and sleep in her bed with her but just show some discipline and not try anything on with her. (ie kissing, fondling etc)
So spent 40 mins trying to get her to go to her own room to sleep.
Have only just now succeeded.....:/ If i dont wake up tomorrow then i reckon its because she has killed me with a knife or smt in my sleep.
*i will try and quietly lock my door without her hearing*
its going over and over in my head how all this has happened after 1 - 1/2 weeks
and even then only about 4 ish days where we sorta acknowledged we liked each other (well she said she loved me...) If i survive this...its a lesson learnt i'll tell you that....
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![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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This is getting absurd. "This isn't working and I need you to move out."
This is all you need to say.
This is all you need to say.
Caporegime
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- Auckland
Disagree. You never put your @@@@ in crazy. Never.
There is only one question you need to ask yourself: Does she make you feel happy? If yes then you can work through the other issues.
The religion thing, meh, it's a big deal for her, make some effort. You don't have to believe, but supporting her beliefs wouldn't be too much to ask. The living as a couple or not issue will resolve itself out over time won't it? It is about finding the right medium of contact which you are both happy with. I will try to see my girlfriend every couple of days and inbetween send a few texts. She is happy with that, so am I. Trial and error.
Finally with regards to sex I think you are being a bit unreasonable. She obviously wants to take time. The way you worded your post back a few pages, it sounded like you were demanding sex. Is that really what relationships are down to these days? I've been in a relationship for about three months now and have done everything up to sex. It isn't a deal breaker for me, she has a few issues and we are working them out. To expect the situation to resolve itself instantly is quite naive.
Don't mean to be a damp squib on the whole ditch her fast parade but some of the responses here are quite disgusting really.
The religion thing, meh, it's a big deal for her, make some effort. You don't have to believe, but supporting her beliefs wouldn't be too much to ask. The living as a couple or not issue will resolve itself out over time won't it? It is about finding the right medium of contact which you are both happy with. I will try to see my girlfriend every couple of days and inbetween send a few texts. She is happy with that, so am I. Trial and error.
Finally with regards to sex I think you are being a bit unreasonable. She obviously wants to take time. The way you worded your post back a few pages, it sounded like you were demanding sex. Is that really what relationships are down to these days? I've been in a relationship for about three months now and have done everything up to sex. It isn't a deal breaker for me, she has a few issues and we are working them out. To expect the situation to resolve itself instantly is quite naive.
Don't mean to be a damp squib on the whole ditch her fast parade but some of the responses here are quite disgusting really.
She doesn't seem all that crazy tbh, it's just that both of you are fundamentally very different. Trying to 'make it work' imo is just gonna make things worse. Either you become a christian or make her abandon her beliefs. I'd say just let her go
Caporegime
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- Auckland
Dante, you can't work through other issues because she makes you happy, or at least not always. Some people just shouldn't be together and mass compromise on both sides is a recipe for resentment and/or divorce.
There are so many people out there who could and will make other people happy without having to substantially change their views, it's baffling that there are people like you who cling to the idea of making someone 'fit'.
Our lives are not a romcom. Our lives are not high school but with more money and greater responsibilities. Our lives are not settling for the one who might just like you if only you changed a bit.
Our lives are for being awesome and being with people who are awesome.
There are so many people out there who could and will make other people happy without having to substantially change their views, it's baffling that there are people like you who cling to the idea of making someone 'fit'.
Our lives are not a romcom. Our lives are not high school but with more money and greater responsibilities. Our lives are not settling for the one who might just like you if only you changed a bit.
Our lives are for being awesome and being with people who are awesome.
[FnG]magnolia;20893923 said:
It isn't about fitting together. It is about finding a balance, a medium. Personally I wouldn't want the perfect person as, well, they don't exist. Everyone has faults. There is no changing of opinions and viewing, it is learning to accept them. Someone who challenges me and my beliefs but who I get on well with is better than someone who agrees with everything I say. Having a perfect relationship is romcom, having a flawed one is real life. You know what good about flaws are? They are different each and every time: completely unique.
Soldato
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- Livingston
Nae joy man.. lol she sounds like a tease/nutcase. Go out and find yourself a dirty and take your mind off it. Always too many conditions with the pretty ones..