Sex After Marriage????

I can't understand that way of thinking at all. Part of being in a relationship is the physical interaction, otherwise you're really just friends. To me, it's like saying someone you've met online is your boy/girlfriend when you've never met face to face.

I don't believe in sleeping around, and I do think that sex is special and should be reserved for someone you're in love with. However, if you plan to only ever sleep with one person, you will feel a lot of pressure to stay with them if things go badly.

I have only ever known one couple who didn't have any sexual contact throughout their relationship. They were both Catholics and wanted to wait until they were married, so didn't go beyond very occasionaly kissing and holding hands. They really were the oddest couple to see, there just wasn't any spark between them and eventually after about a year they realised they were really just friends and split up.
 
mrk1@1 said:
ROFL


I always thought the whole point of Christianity was that you need to believe it all. Its kind of an all or nothing thing here, not pick and choose. Ok people may not agree with some things or like others or even choose to uphold parts however ergo the base package is as it is.
Click to expand...
Indeed....it should be noted that my earlier post should be viewed as a simple humorous summary of religion, not me actually debating seriously (I don't do serious debates, I'm far too insensitive for that.)

No idea why being religious means people can't have sex before marriage. Religion means people supposedly can't do a lot of things, or have to do things certain ways, but it's the SBM that always comes up. Maybe because it makes the person seem oh so divine in the eyes of their peers? Maybe 100 years ago, perhaps...
 
Megz2007 said:
Hey

I'm 21. Friends were shocked when I told them that I did not believe in sex before marriage. I view my virginity as my gift to my future husband. At the moment, Im single, though I have been in a long term relationship and few lil relationships. Guys have new from get go where I stand.

Sex after marriage...does it still exist?? How do you value a girl who does not believe in sex before marriage???? Would you date a girl who had such views?? lol, wondering what others thought. :p
Click to expand...

1: What about future "husbands".
Because you can't tell the future and things may go wrong and all.

2: What then, once you've done it and you say, divorce.
Then can you sleep with prospective husband(s).

Genuine questions.


I guess I could be with a girl like that.... depends...no, I probably couldn't.
Then again, depends how great she would be.

NO NO NO WAIT!!!.. how bad must that be, you marry a guy/girl, you finally get to sleep with them and find out they're crap!

So, no I couldn't because I could end up with someone who can't offer me what I want, or in turn what they want.

Sample the goods first, you know.
 
Last edited:
SuBsTaNcE said:
How can you commit to a girl if you have no idea how she is in the sack? what if you get married and all then you find out she is terrible?

I know it sounds shallow but sex is a pretty big thing for me
Click to expand...

I get where you're coming from, but you can always work on it. It always comes down to communication and this is where most relationships fail, especially with sex. People still get emabaressed even in this day and age, even if they have been together for 10 years, and instead of trying new things and working on bad parts, they just bottle it up and this causes one or the other to loose interest.

I don't think it's a bad thing saving yourself for the one you love as I respect people's religion beliefs, but I wouldn't say it's a good thing.

Sex is part of life and without it, we wouldn't exist.

You don't have to go out and sleep with every thing, but if you're in love then it's worth experimenting to make sure that the chemistry still adheres and can proove that you truely do love one and another.
 
I'm a 'keep it for marriage' guy

I have great praise for a girl who shares the sex/marriage view, especially in this day and age.
For me, I'd like to marry a Christian girl who is also a virgin, but the Christian part is more important overall.
 
Last edited:
What counts as a virgin in this day and age?

I mean it's (generally) a tad more obvious to tell if a woman is female but impossible to tell if a male is a virgin, especially with male masturbation lol. And if a woman uses some form of aid does it still count as being a virgin?

So lie. Then everyones happy.
 
Sex is important in a relationship. What would happen if you got married to someone and there was no spark?
I don't agree with sleeping around but sex can be special in a long term relationship. Marriage doesn't have to come into the equation. Even if it doesn't last with the person you lost your virginity to it doesn't mean that it wasn't a special experience.
First time sex is a horrible experience anyway, even if it's with someone you love. It's not like in the movies, it hurts and it's messy!
 
People need sex, thats why men and women get aroused when around people they find attractive. You deny the sex then people will do whatever it takes in order to get it, in the case of a lot of christian people who did the no sex before marriage thing that I know this meant proposing at 19 and getting married at 20. They bonked like rabbits for a few months and then came to realise that the reason they got married was because they were blinded by the desire they had rather than having a concrete stable relationship, now they are all contemplating divorce, but because of the strict christian families they have I can't see any of them going through with it.

Also a lot of people seem to view their virginity as something far more important than it is, once its gone most people realise how trivial it is. Sex is an important part of a relationship, almost as important as personality compatibility and unless you are going out with a member of the ring brigade the other person will get hacked off and leave because if you arn't willing to give everything of yourself to the other person then how can you be in a relationship? Its not really any different to never telling them how you feel about anything or ignoring what they say most of the time and therefore most people will see it as a slap in the face.
 
I'm not supportive of no-sex-before-marriage. Sex isn't the be-all-and-end-all, but it is an important element of almost every romantic relationship. If you and your partner don't 'connect' sexually or don't enjoy sex together, then I should imagine that your relationship is going to run into problems. I think that sex is a crucial part of the development of a relationship and as such, a couple really need to know if they're sexually 'compatible' before they get married. If you marry without having had sex, both of you are withholding a significant aspect of your self and your attraction until it's potentially too late.

I realise that there are ways to enjoy yourself in the bedroom besides full sex. But let's face it - sex is kinda the main attraction!
 
Last edited:
As a zealous christian it is one of the hardest things to get around. In the words of Father Maurice (a friend of mine who is a priest)

'sex before marriage in our society is almost inevitable...' i wont quote here as I dont fully remember the rest: God understands, but when it is gratuitous self-placation it is not justified..
 
Megz2007 said:
Hey

I'm 21. Friends were shocked when I told them that I did not believe in sex before marriage. I view my virginity as my gift to my future husband. At the moment, Im single, though I have been in a long term relationship and few lil relationships. Guys have new from get go where I stand.

Sex after marriage...does it still exist?? How do you value a girl who does not believe in sex before marriage???? Would you date a girl who had such views?? lol, wondering what others thought. :p
Click to expand...

honorable, don't compromise this principle...
 
I'm with Vixen and Dogma, i'm of the lady persuasion myself and just can't understand your way of thinking OP.
By no means do i sleep around but in a loving relationship a physical connection between two people makes it something other than being just friends. Otherwise how do you really 'know' the other person. It seems alien to me.
I once had a boyfriend who was a virgin and strangely it really freaked me out and the relationship didn't last long, there was just something missing.
The whole 'its honourable' stance is silly, there is nothing at all dishonourable about sex before marriage. To me as long as you are safe (i.e. not stupid) and for me i prefer to be in a (long term) relationship.
 
It's a rather old and outdated notion, like most things with roots in religion.

I agree with what others have said though. I don't see how you can be close enough to someone to marry them without having shared everything with each other. How can you truly know someone to the point of wanting to spend the rest of your life with them without actually having any physical relationship?

At the end of the day sex is part of life and every creature on the planet does it in one way or another. It is not exactly anything special when you think about it. Once you have done it for the first few times you will realise that it's not the big thing you thought it was. You shouldn't deny yourself life experiences - and potentially huge fun! - due to a belief like this.

By the way, am I the other person whos first time was good? :p
 
As I don't believe in god I don't see an issue. Although I do believe sex is special for me personally - I don't need anyone to tell me that. To me it's a closeness that does not exist when you're walking down the street, gazing into each others eyes over coffee or massaging your girlfriend's/partner's feet when they come in from a long day standing..

Sex can take a while; and perhaps a few partners before you know what works. It's important to note that sex will not save a broken relationship and to stay in a broken relationship will end in tears. Don't get me wrong it's not all about sex!

I do feel that some religious institutions place undue pressure at the detriment of the person. Almost to the point of "I'm better than thou" because if it. I suppose that's part of the reason I believe religious institutions and those ingrained within them are bad (I hate them with a passion). However this is not the point of discussion.

I'm not even going to say "good for you" to the OP as it's really irrelevant as it's your personal choice.

Each to their own *shug*
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom