Shorts and no tie at a wedding?

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Unless it's insanely hot, shorts will just look naff. Just wear some light weight smart trousers and a smart shirt at least.

Or just arrive with tie and jacket and get rid once at the reception.
 
bainbridge said:
It was lovely and comfortable, a number of people said I looked very dapper (unusual for me because I'm NOT fashionable at all) and I had sweaty people coming up to me in morning suits saying they'd do anything to be wearing what I was wearing.

I'm contemplating wearing similar attire on Saturday, but.. we'll be there all day, not just the reception but the ceremony too. It's quite a fancy venue and the married couple to be are devout Catholics, but, on the other hand, it's just my partner's ex boss getting married and I'm just going because my partner wants to go.
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Yes, people in big, thick morning suits (presumably with the waistcoat and big fat tie too) no doubt would be sweaty during a heatwave! There are some in-between options though.

Firstly we're not in a heatwave, it shouldn't be all that hot this weekend so a normal suit shouldn't be a drama. Secondly, if you're really worried then get a linen shirt or a linen/cotton blend shirt and/or even go for a linen suit.

I've been to weddings in places like Greece and Bulgaria before and people wore suits. For the Greek wedding it was on an island in the middle of summer and so suits weren't expected (groom, best man, usher and only a few other guys wore them) but trousers and shirt were expected - I wore a white linen shirt with no tie, off white linen trousers and light brown sued lofas, was smart enough and was absolutely fine in the heat.

For the Bulgarian wedding, it was a very posh wedding and suits were definitely expected - I bought a blue linen suit from M&S and again had a white linen shirt - was again fine. Also with stuff like this, if you're in say the middle row in the church and take off your suit jacket no one is going to even notice let alone care too much. You're still wearing a suit when you say hi to the bride and groom and/or for any photos.

If you're really worried about the heat then basically linen is your friend here + taking your jacket off at opportune times and ditching the tie ASAP, in the reception, after formal photos.

FoxEye said:
I find it weird that nobody challenges this. Well, a few people do, but by far the majority just go along with it.

Despite everybody I know *hating* dressing up in a suit, because suits are some of the least comfortable attire known to man.

Why should you hate what you wear at an occasion like this?
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Because it isn't the sort of occasion to challenge anything, it's that particular couple's day and they set the dress code, you're not forced to attend if you don't want to. I mean if you get an invite to a fancy dress party and you don't like fancy dress do you just turn up anyway in jeans and a t-shirt and declare that dress codes are silly and someone should challenge these fancy dress parties?

I'm all for the news stories where some boys at some secondary school somewhere wear dresses in a summer heatwave because the school rules ban shorts etc... or someone wearing a modern kilt to the office, again because shorts are banned etc.. you have to turn up to work or school, it's not some special one off event.

But for a wedding, it's generally for the couple to set the dress code and not really for some random guest (who in this case is just coming along as the partner of someone) to decide to change it.
Like I've posted above I've been to a wedding in a genuinely hot country where suits weren't required, they simply wanted trousers and shirts to keep it semi-formal (was in an old, traditional orthodox church and then a fancy reception) so it would have been rude/disrespectful to the couple to turn up in shorts and t-shirt. It was also quite easy to find suitable clothing that was fine in that sort of heat.

In the UK I don't really see much excuse, quite easy to wear a suit and still be comfortable, it doesn't really get all that hot over here.
 
413x said:
I just feel for most jobs we've moved past having to look a certain way. Same as tattoos etc.
I find it very outdated.
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Most places appear to be moving away from it. Smart casual. Although most people still wear shirts so I guess most people don't find wearing shirts to be an outdated concept.

I doubt we'll move away from judging how people look any time soon. Have you seen how many people are obsessed with looks (not just clothes) in GD?
 
sigma said:
Most places appear to be moving away from it. Smart casual. Although most people still wear shirts so I guess most people don't find wearing shirts to be an outdated concept.

I doubt we'll move away from judging how people look any time soon. Have you seen how many people are obsessed with looks (not just clothes) in GD?
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Are you referencing the mostly-incel-filled relationship and hugs thread/online dating discussion?
 
TBH I don't feel uncomfortable in a suit at all - in fact, in a good quality well-fitting suit I feel like a goddamn boss.

Weddings aren't the time or place to be challenging convention or sticking it to the man, unless the bride and groom have asked you to do so. I think it's really impolite to go against convention in a situation like this, you aren't some anti establishment musician at an award ceremony being all edgy and daring, you're sticking two fingers up at someone's day.
 
One daughter got married last month and my other daughter gets married this month.
At the last one as soon as we got back from the wedding I was in shorts & t-shirt however this next one is in a posh place.
My daughter said I can put my shorts on after we've eaten because every one of the guests have only ever known me in shorts but my wife is pulling faces.
I look an absolute tool in a suit.

Oh and I agree, 20 degrees is a heatwave.
 
Malevolence said:
Same here. I don't own a suit, never have and never will. Borrowed one from a friend some time ago to attend court as a witness. I looked ridiculous and, despite it fitting perfectly, it was really uncomfortable to wear.
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If it was uncomfortable then it wasn’t properly fitting, in my opinion. Your sample size of one borrowed suit shouldn’t be used to tar all other suits as being poor.
 
SexyGreyFox said:
One daughter got married last month and my other daughter gets married this month.
At the last one as soon as we got back from the wedding I was in shorts & t-shirt however this next one is in a posh place.
My daughter said I can put my shorts on after we've eaten because every one of the guests have only ever known me in shorts but my wife is pulling faces.
I look an absolute tool in a suit.

Oh and I agree, 20 degrees is a heatwave.
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Are you one of those people who wears shorts all the time? Flip flops also?
 
sigma said:
Are you one of those people who wears shorts all the time? Flip flops also?
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I do although they're called jandals here, not flip flops. I would never countenance wearing shorts to a wedding though because I am not an idiot* :)

* I am an idiot but would not wear shorts to a wedding is what I'm saying.
 
sigma said:
If it was uncomfortable then it wasn’t properly fitting, in my opinion. Your sample size of one borrowed suit shouldn’t be used to tar all other suits as being poor.
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I don't think you understand what me and Malevolence mean by uncomfortable in a suit.
For the wedding I've got a proper fitted suit and I go for another fitting next week, it will be awful to wear it all day, in fact for 30 minutes.
I know I'll be constantly fidgeting and pulling at bits of clothing to get more air around me.

sigma said:
Are you one of those people who wears shorts all the time? Flip flops also?
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Yes, all the time, I'm even allowed to wear them at work because I moan so much about wearing trousers and a shirt.
If I go up to the headquarters or to see a Clinician I do put my trousers on and take them back off as soon as I get back.
I have never owned flip flops but I do wear ladies all black slipper type things.

sigma said:
I reckon if you look like a tool in a suit you probably look like a spanner regardless of clothes :o
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100%, I'm a small fat bald bloke, I don't look good in anything.
 
Dis86 said:
I love these threads. They're great for working out who the norms and weirdos are!

There's also a curious correlation between those that seem to be socially and economically successful vs those that tend to live in their parents spare room.
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There's no doubt that social conformity is rewarded. Generally people prefer it when others play by their rules, do as they are told, and conform with all the norms, like good boys and girls. And naturally this also applies to most employers.

Just not all of us give a damn about social conventions, or being a good corporate worker drone, or doing what we're told. Some of us actually *like* sticking two fingers up at convention. At tradition for tradition's own sake. We don't expect to profit from it, we're just being true to ourselves.

Also the digs at people living at home are water off a duck's back. It's not the instant argument winner you people seem to think, in every thread on every topic. And it's been boring for a while. Maybe check out the stats which show it's becoming more and more common year on year. Sure I don't expect the stigma to disappear but it's not exactly uncommon these days, esp in Cornwall and other regions of the UK where the housing market is absolutely out of control. But that's another thread.
 
FoxEye said:
There's no doubt that social conformity is rewarded. Generally people prefer it when others play by their rules, do as they are told, and conform with all the norms, like good boys and girls. And naturally this also applies to most employers.

Just not all of us give a damn about social conventions, or being a good corporate worker drone, or doing what we're told. Some of us actually *like* sticking two fingers up at convention. At tradition for tradition's own sake. We don't expect to profit from it, we're just being true to ourselves.

Also the digs at people living at home are water off a duck's back. It's not the instant argument winner you people seem to think, in every thread on every topic. And it's been boring for a while. Maybe check out the stats which show it's becoming more and more common year on year. Sure I don't expect the stigma to disappear but it's not exactly uncommon these days, esp in Cornwall and other regions of the UK where the housing market is absolutely out of control. But that's another thread.
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Just missing "sheeple" and that would have been the ultimate predictable post.
 
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