Slacker on long term sick

mglover070588 said:
That is harassment at work isn't it?
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Do you not understand anything? It can just be you hes not comfortable around, the prescience of you etc, this is an example, not fact. Im not saying youre bullying him, geezus crisps!

No wonder you have no grasp of understanding of the medical condition of "stress"!
 
Stress is so often used these days in business by people and it's a relative/subjective term that to me is used incorrectly more often than not, something my friends in the medical profession support I hasten to add. Many people I hear refer to stress need to walk in the shoes of someone facing real stress and they will then perhaps appreciate the difference. I feel I can speak with some confidence on this one having worked in high pressure roles for the last 15 years and for 10 years in roles I believed to be high pressure.

With age you learn to deal with stress better but you also appreciate what is a walk in the park at 40 when it was the end of the world in your 20's and why people in their 20's complaining they are stressed would hang themselves if they came across REAL stress. Having said this, everyone deals with stress differently but posting on a Twitter page about 'projects' is not something I would expect of someone feeling highly stressed, perhaps bored and tired of their role in life, but stressed, nah.
 
RockLobster said:
Gap year? Isn't that when you do pointless tasks without any responsibility. When you get a real job without the universities help you might understand what real stress is.
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Are you a bit of a loser with a crud job?

Got the job myself, with no help. Work hard and made an impact with my project work in the time I have spent there.

You won't get responsiblilty on your gap year if you are deemed an incompetent drone.

....and no I won't take a week of with 'stress' if I get a deadline that I means I will have to work none-stop on to meet.
 
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Surely, the stress you take on as part of a job....is part of the job. If you can't handle it, you should find yourself a new career rather than mooching off the company benefit system whether you be a city trader, a teacher or something else. You have been given the job on the understanding that you can do ALL of it.
 
mglover070588 said:
Brother did medicine at Camebridge and he fully agrees with me.
Are you a doctor? I didn't think so.
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So?

Stress is psychological rather than physical, so unless your brother has a degree in Psychology his opinion means just as much as everyone else's
 
Like so many other things in life this is just one more thing that can be faked and its even harder for fellow colleauges to know if its the real deal or not.

I feel the culture and laws of the land play a big role. I've lived for a while in Asia for example and there are some countries there where if you say you are stressed and want time off they will ask you to please clear your desk and leave in 30 minutes. Your paycheck will arrive in the mail. Nice knowing you. Bye.

We are fortunate in this country to have the opportunity for a breather if we *really* are stressed and just cant take it anymore.
 
mglover070588 said:
Are you a bit of a loser with a crud job?

Got the job myself, with no help. Work hard and made an impact with my project work in the time I have spent there.

You won't get responsiblilty on your gap year if you are deemed an incompetent drone.

....and no I won't take a week of with 'stress' if I get a deadline that I means I will have to work none-stop on to meet.
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So what happens when you add a little more to the equation? Say you have a deadline, the wife wants you to spend more time with her and the kids, god forbid a relative passes. It all adds up, stress doesn't come from one place. It's normally a build up over time of several things happening in that persons life.
 
If the person who was referred to in the OP had been of for a month with say a broken leg or some other physical ailment would he still be a slacker or "playing the system" if he could still do "personal projects" at home?

I don't know about anyone else's line of work, but if I had a broken leg I'd be unable to go into work until it had healed. But that wouldn't mean I could not use the time off productively, e.g. working on my photo website etc.
 
Of course there are some work shy folk out there that will be swinging the lead, but stress can be incredibly debilitating condition, and unless you have experienced it yourself or seen people badly affected by it you may find it very difficult to understand.

It sounds to me like you ask asked your brother a question in a way he will agree with you, because unless he is a medical student with little time actually treating patients then I doubt he feels depression is so reductive that he goes on ICD10 classifications or a score on a phq9 and that nothing else matters. The very first thing I tell someone who I give a sick note for stress or depression is to DO things. I don't much care what they do, going on holidays weekends away are things I encourage them to do. Sitting at home not having a reason to get up, feeling guilty about doing anything enjoyable worried someone from work will see them are all things that slow their recovery.
 
Mr Mglover, 2 years ago my grandmother died a horrible slow and painful death after contracting C-dif in hospital after she had a stroke. After working 10 hours a day my fiancée and I would go visit her and watch her wither away. On Christmas morning 2007, we visited her to give her gifs. As we got to her room she passed away. 5 months on I still hadn't faced up to the fact that she was no longer with us. I went about my day as if nothing had happened, I told no one in work about how I felt and everything appeared normal.

One day whilst watching the TV, for no apparent reason I jumped up, ran around the room shouting "this is it, it's my time", I was having my first panic attack. My heart was racing, I had cold sweats and tears were bursting out of my eyes. My Fiancée could do nothing to calm me down. For weeks I couldn't sleep, I would back out of conversations mid way through because I felt trapped and unable to breath, I had this constant feeling of dread and worry that I was going to die.

I went to the doctor who signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks and prescribed me Citalopram, an anti depressant.

As far as work knows I was off with stress/anxiety due to bereavement. When I returned to work I was told that if I took any more time off due to stress/anxiety that I would not be paid.

Do you honestly think that is fair? Would you deem me a slacker? How can you sit there judging someone when you have absolutely no idea what is going on in their life?
 
This is a difficult one as it is so hard to prove.

However hasn't the system just changed where by you now don't get a sick note saying what you can't do but what you can do.

So for me they would probably allow me to work from home. I could do 90% of my work.

There is no doubt though that quite a lot of people are just using it as an excuse for time off work.

Because it can't be proven whatever you do you are going to be wrong sometimes. I think it should have a maximum limit on how long you can have off. after that then you need to get a new job, the job was obviously too much for you to handle if it really is stress and not just lazyness.

Obviously if there are more physical symptoms it is easier but to stop abuse a line has to be drawn somewhere.
 
millsy888 said:
If you understood anything about stress/depression you would understand how silly that sounds.
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I cannot function without stress, it makes me better, faster, stronger and more determined... Without it i become lazy as hell.

Most people are like that, put pressure on them and they prevail...

The people that crack under the pressure, i couldnt care less about them

mglover070588 said:
Well if he isn't lying in bed all day then he can get is lazy backside into work can't he.
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so yes that is pretty much it
 
platinum87 said:
I cannot function without stress, it makes me better, faster, stronger and more determined... Without it i become lazy as hell.

Most people are like that, put pressure on them and they prevail...

The people that crack under the pressure, i couldnt care less about them



so yes that is pretty much it
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Let's just hope nothing bad ever happens for you to crack up under stress! ;)
 
I've been suffering from anxiety, a form of stress, for about 2 years and trust me, it's horrific and not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. There's been times when I was 99% certain I was about to collapse and die, imagine the fear.
 
millsy888 said:
So what happens when you add a little more to the equation? Say you have a deadline, the wife wants you to spend more time with her and the kids, god forbid a relative passes. It all adds up, stress doesn't come from one place. It's normally a build up over time of several things happening in that persons life.
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Hes not going to get it because hes on his "gap year placement" which is the most stressful thing, ever.
 
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