The only reseller brave enough to sell the public appears to be BroadBandBuyer and you need to pretend to be a business. Or you can send me a trust message and I'll put you in touch with someone.
Dahua are the world's second largest surveillance camera manufacturer and they do so many NVRs it would make your head spin.
Yes, the LEDs are on all night and yes, they are about as bright as dim street lighting. But if you're happy with black and white night time images they also have plenty of IR cameras as well. The feature you are looking for is called IVS - Intelligent Video Surveillance. Do you want bullet cameras, domes or turrets? They all have their good and bad points.
Do you want/need 4K/8MP or would you be happy with 4 or 5MP?
The reason I really like the TiOC cameras is that you get a full colour image at night. Once you've seen the difference you wouldn't accept anything else. Infra Red night vision cameras pretty much automatically blank out any registration number plates and once a person gets up close enough to the camera to identify them, their face is usually whited-out as well. So actually, they're of less use than the full colour ones.
The Dahua app is also very good. You can choose exactly what you get notified for and set time bands when you do or don't get notifications. It's not perfect but it's better than most other systems on the market.