Splitting Up with Misses

[platypus]

She has a job, and though I don't know her exact earnings I worked it out at around the national average sallary.
I recently moved back in with my parents to save some cash (which irritated her as she had to move back in with her folks to) and make the comute to work easier. I was going to buy a starter home or something similar and get myself a nice car. Now it looks like were buying a bloody mansion and I'll end up with a heap of junk on the drive. The whole reson for me buying a lowend property was to give me more money to save while maintaining a resonable disposable income, afterall - whats the point in a huge house when I'm not having kids anytime soon and the fact that I'll only be their 2 nights a week!

So she can marry you, divorce you, and take the house?

 

[AthlonTom]

she will see you as a good catch as you take her shopping, pay for things etc, have you ever sat there and told her "no!"?

KaHn

I have - im currently holding the fact I have to get a big deposit for a house over her. Though I still have to meet her "Needs" she does doesn't get all her "Wants"

 

[platypus]

The fact that she seems to belittle your wants and opinions, and doesn't really seem to know what you want after a year would indicate to me that she's not that bothered about the relationship with you.

Edit: Could you perhaps list these "needs" and "wants"?

 

[Geordie_Boy]

To be perfectlly honest doing that over the phone is a horrible thing to do. Get it over and done with and be a man about it. You will feel worse about it if you do it over the phone i promise you that. Usually ends up with you seeing her again one day and thinking you made a big mistake because the feeling you had for her before you acctually did the deed come streaming back.

Don't do it over the phone, its not a good idea. Trust me.

 

[The Running Man]

end it man. i have a mate who had a bird of the same dispostion -

i.e attention seeker
couldnt be away from him for 5 mins
weekends = ikea/trafford center
doesnt go out with own friends.

they were together 6 years, recently bought a house, but she peed him off so much he has now broken up with her after a week break (where he asked for space and she was round ther pretty much every night talking otherwise lol)

so yea, quit while you still have your assets.

 

[xirokx]

seems like your a very strong minded individual who is being taken advantage of from what I can read from your responses...

what took you so long to realise this?

also seems like you want to "live and have fun" whilst she wants to "take the michael and get bogged down with responbilities"

 

[AthlonTom]

So she can marry you, divorce you, and take the house?

LOL - I changed my death and severance form at work the other day, it now just gets split between 4 of my mates (in case I get hit by a bus before I can call her)

 

[YorkshirePadd26]

A better way to do it would be txt her landline then the comedy voiced guy from little britain can split up for you.

I've done it via txt with the last girl, I felt like dog poo about it.
But the fact is she scared me ever so slightly and was able to do some kind mind control stuff and always got me to agree to stuff I really didn't want to do.

Follow YorkshirePads 7 simple txt split up tips.

1, Send the txt, wait for her reply.
2, Don't read her reply, just txt her and say your really sorry but you just can't talk about it at the mo.

3, Then turn your phone off for about 3 days !
4, Then turn it back on and read all her crazy rants and death threats ! yes this happened to me !
5, The go around and have a chat, but make sure some friends know where your going and prearrange to call them at a certain time. That way they can alert the police if it all goes wrong and they don't hear from you.
6, If break up sex is offered don't accept ! its not worth it. Go home and spank your monkey if need be.

Tip 7, Find a nice Girl/Man/Sheep/Youn Asian boy, or whatever takes your pleasure and make sure they're a keeper.

 

[Geordie_Boy]

LOL - I changed my death and severance form at work the other day, it now just gets split between 4 of my mates (in case I get hit by a bus before I can call her)

She'll then be upset and skint.

 

[Reeve]

Coward.

Says the person dealing out insults over a internet forum

i would go with what others have said and discuss your gripes with her before you go through with what you intend to, atleast you put some effort into saving the relationship and can leave it with a clear conscience

 

[nst68]

Is the any reason why you couldn't go back at the weekend and tell her face-to-face?

I know it will be easier for you over the phone, but after being with someone for 2 years, I think she's deserves more.

 

[Majago]

A quick but harsh way to do it would be to send her the link to this thread...


Seriously though, there isn't much point staying in the relationship for the sake of it however doing it in person would enable you to talk things through with her (i.e. your concerns) and you may even work out a compromise where you don't pay for everything etc.

 

[ChrisJSY]

So I've decided I'm going to do it over the phone, I'm away with work at the moment and won't be returning home for a couple of months. I know its a rubbish thing to do on the phone but:

A: I'm not capable in person in this case

Mass memory loss, or something, guys, cmon, read.

No offence but your a wuss.

KaHn

Then she doesn't deserve to have it finished over the phone.

Mate, I don't care what your excuse is. If you have any respect or compasion for this girl - man up and tell her to her face. If she starts crying, you've just got to stick to your guns. Do it in the nicest possible way.

Your reasons for ending it sound genuine, but stop trying to convince yourself that doing it over the phone is the right thing.

Be a man and tell her in person for goodness sake!

Have to agree with the others, the phone is not the way to do this

Coward.

Do it properly face to face and not over the phone. That's a pathetic way out in my opinion.

To be perfectlly honest doing that over the phone is a horrible thing to do. Get it over and done with and be a man about it. You will feel worse about it if you do it over the phone i promise you that. Usually ends up with you seeing her again one day and thinking you made a big mistake because the feeling you had for her before you acctually did the deed come streaming back.

Don't do it over the phone, its not a good idea. Trust me.

Well, to be honest with you guys none of you actually know what this person is like, or the OP.

She sounds like my ex, not everything, worse in some, better in others.
She broke up with me when she moved back home in Denmark.
(Over the net)

I wouldn't expect her to come here to do it, just like the OP, why go all the way to say that.

In the end, well, in my case, you find out things... things you wish you didn't know but enough to make the end of it easier.


She sounds like a complete bitch but we're only getting 0.0001% of the story

 

[LordSplodge]

I ain't saying she's no Gold Digger, but you ain't seein' her with no broke *****!

Relationships are about give and take and I don't see no give here only take. If it waying on your mind and you don't want to wait until you see her (and pretend to "happy") then drop her like a hot cake over the phone - just don't expect it to be easy or for her to think much of you.

I have to do somethings I don't rate too entertaining with the wife and vice versa but my god, spending every weekend in bed (presumably more sleep than sex) and SHOPPING!!! I'd rather be single or dead than face that hell.

Given how much you work your weekends are too precious to waste on bloody shopping...

 

[jamief]

Right.... this thread might run and run.... can you not just text her now and let us know what happens? I've only got 30 mins for lunch today

 

[cleanbluesky]

Today is the day I plan on splitting up with my Girlfriend, now I still like her and and don't want to see her upset in anyway, in fact I still love her. But its not fair on her to keep going out with her if I know that its just not going to work. I tried to do this a month ago, but whenever I see her start to cry or anything I just want to comfort her.

You love her but you dont see a future with her?

You need to go away and think about this.

So I've decided I'm going to do it over the phone

I'd be willing to bet that the reason you're not capable is that you are not being honest with yourself about what you feel/think

 

[!bluetonic!]

A quick but harsh way to do it would be to send her the link to this thread...

truth..

AthlonTom,

I was struggling to find !bluetonic! time for a period of time in the relationship of me and my girlfriend.

We had a good talk.

Listen to 'keep talking' by 'pink floyd' for the answer to all relationship problems.

You need to break up face to face. If you can't do that, write a list of all your thoughts and feelings into a card and present it to her. Wait for her to read it (make her read it all without comment) and then deal with it.

Just keep in mind that we can make our current relationships better. Think about what you have got, rather than what you've not.

 

[AthlonTom]

I suppose its very hard for you guys to get only my side of the story and still be able to not think I'm a cretin.

In the last year, I've probably only been drunk twice, I've had to move out of a really lush serviced apartment, I've had to sell my personal car and not replace it, and I've gone from seeing my friends every weekend, street teaming for gigs and going to festivals/gigs most weekends to almost zero. though I see my friends every other week on average. And this is with a 40% payrise.

In ten years time what the hell is my life going to be like? I'll probably have realized someone else dream - but it won't be my own, thats no way to live, and what If kids come along?

I'm also the kind of person that typically does something once its decided, so now I've decided theres no way on gods green earth I can wait months of lying to her before I can tell her.

I think this might be the culmination of only being single for about 6 months in total since I was 16 - but all my other partners have typically been exceptionally cool / independent people (excluding ex fiancee), break ups with them have always been mutual, for work/uni/travelling/location perposes, with very little if any love lost, in fact I'm very close to most of them.

 

[iCraig]

Well, to be honest with you guys none of you actually know what this person is like, or the OP.

It doesn't matter. A year long relationship should be ended appropriately, face to face, not with a phone call.

Whether he'll do it or not is up to him, but we're telling him how it is. Finishing with a girl who you've been seeing for a year over the phone, is wrong.

 

[Rich_L]

Do it over the phone if you want, you're not exactly going to be her favourite person afterwards so it doesn't really make much difference apart from whether you should go with the cliché that face-to-face is 'better'.

If anything doing it by phone makes it easier in the long run as she'll probably have a lesser opinion of you which'll give her a leg-up in getting over you. Also you can be more rational and stick to your guns rather than being faced with a blubbering emotional wreck which could end up with you making decisions you'll regret in the cold light of day.