Star Wars VIII : The Last Jedi [WARNING: SPOILERS]

I have no idea how this film made the cut. The whole premise of the film was that they could track them in lightspeed but they were faster... despite not stretching the gap between them at all and the fighters wouldn't have cover so they had to pull them back... cover from what. They had multiple ships, an entire fleet and storm troopers were always disposable, that was the point of them. They are effectively drones, why on earth are they pulling them back because they have no cover, they don't care about them. Why didn't they send bombers, why if they could blow the bridge up with no effort could they not continue shooting? So the film turned into this ridiculous chase scene.... but..... the Rebels have a single ship, the Empire have THOUSANDS of death stars, they had a dozen following them, the Rebels had no fuel and were being tracked, the Empire had no such issues. Why in the **** did they not just jump ahead of them, or jump 50 more ships in to block them in. The whole thing was so embarrassingly stupid.

Film started off as closer to a comedy, then it tried to get serious, had some of this crap like Poe(?) randomly wanting to start a mutiny because his superiors wouldn't share the plan, but there was absolutely no reason for her to not be sharing the plan, none at all. It made no sense in the slightest. Leia.... randomly flying AFTER she froze but not you know, before, like wtf.

I said in the film thread, I don't understand how someone can write The Brothers Bloom (great), Looper (pretty good) and then create this ridiculous story and mostly terrible dialogue.
 
The problem for me is not the story and the naff pointless story lines

Its REY

Can't act , is totally just going through the motions and needs to be killed off quick.
 
drunkenmaster said:
the Empire have THOUSANDS of death stars,
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Star Destroyers :p

And yes the entire space chase thing made no sense, faster ships but just seem to be teetering on the edge of the Star Destroyers weapons range the entire time, pretty sure that's not how "faster" plays out. Whoever came up with these concepts needs kicked in the balls, several times.
 
Gerard said:
Star Destroyers :p

And yes the entire space chase thing made no sense, faster ships but just seem to be teetering on the edge of the Star Destroyers weapons range the entire time, pretty sure that's not how "faster" plays out. Whoever came up with these concepts needs kicked in the balls, several times.
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yes, bah, was posting while also trying to watch the match. It just, the absurdity of them pulling back tie fighters because they can't provide 'cover' is nonsense. Without watching it again I'm not even sure but did the Rebels launch x-wings/etc and were fighting back or were they just running. Storm Troopers are straight up cannon fodder, they don't care about them in the slightest. They sent like 10 ships despite having a bunch of Death Star Megadestroyers with entire fleets of the damn things inside them all. Also just from my x-wing vs tie fighter days, where were the tie bombers, the tie interceptors, hmm, the Advanced Tie fighter, I can't recall what the names of the cooler ones were now. They could have thrown literally hundreds, maybe thousands of ships, lost them all and ended the freaking rebellion but instead they protected their cannon fodder?


Another major issue was they decided that the rebel ship could go faster because it's smaller..... but the huge Snoke ship stayed ahead of the Star planet tie wings which were drastically smaller. The Rebel ship just stayed out of range of the Snoke ship so why couldn't the smaller Deadly Flying Doritos (okay, I'll stop that now) go past and blow it up? Also when the ships split up, the whole 'stealth' thing when the entire fleet chasing them would have been watching and physically able to see a bunch of ships leaving the hanger is just absurd.



Why all of a sudden was stealth something they could all use at will at of nowhere but it wasn't a standard technology being used if it was so easy for anyone to do whenever they wanted.

ARrgghh, got to stop thinking about it, it's just making me mad with how painfully stupid it was.

It's fairly hard to write a film that makes such little sense throughout, that the main plot device, the chase, is so unbearably stupid and that Storm Troopers were suddenly cared about so deeply by the evil Empire that the chase continued so they didn't lose any of the damn clones they don't even give names to...... You could give that script to a 6yr old kid and they'd be saying, errm, you know that makes no sense right!!!
 
It's just such a hateful, hateful act of destruction, on every step of the way. One "original" hipster director undoing decades of mythos and lore just to spite his rival: well, ef your red C3PO arm, ef your Kylo helmet, ef your Phasma and while we at it, ef your map to Skywalker, ef your Skywalker and the whole Jedi with him, ef your Snoke and ef rebels, and alliance and that ****** alien who thought everything was a trap. Ef your everything. Now deal with it. Thug life. (sunglasses on) Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I close my eyes and still see the horrors, the pillage and rape of it all: spaceships running out of fuel and being yanked backwards in sudden misfire, as if they were Trabants pottling down Borat's pathway, not objects in space, I see old ladies surfing through the vacuum of space to the hatch and the crew opening the door to the abyss of space as if she was stuck on the balcony of her retirement home, bombers unable to move past the snail pace, as if they were being rowed manually with paddles and the weight of their payload mattered in space and somehow made them impossible to steer... I see a guy who doesn't just understand the lore, but doesn't understand 'science' in fiction, waiting for his sweet, sweet, payback - "Abrams, you ***** with our Star Trek, I'm going to ef your Star Wars silly, just you wait."
 
These are getting posted on YT by the official SW account so can't see why it wouldn't be allowed, remove this post if not.

I feel they could have deleted a lot more...

 
I am in shock as to how bad this film was. Bar the effects the pile of trash was like a straight to DVD movie or something from the scifi channel.
I wonder if the next one will be as successful at the box office. Worst Star Wars ever.
 
Midlife Crisis said:
Worst Star Wars ever.
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The movie had some funny moments, the Porgs i felt were used well, any scene they were in they were comical but weren't overused, one stepping on the lightsabre "trigger" and the other staring down the business end of it was funny as were the three in the falcon tearing up the place to get nesting material, the one getting chucked about the cockpit landing on the window was also pretty good.. The comedy with those characters worked better than most of the stuff with the actual cast.
 
Gerard said:
The movie had some funny moments, the Porgs i felt were used well, any scene they were in they were comical but weren't overused, one stepping on the lightsabre "trigger" and the other staring down the business end of it was funny as were the three in the falcon tearing up the place to get nesting material, the one getting chucked about the cockpit landing on the window was also pretty good.. The comedy with those characters worked better than most of the stuff with the actual cast.
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Yup - they were my favourite part of the movie.
 
VincentHanna said:
Obnoxious characters being used as satire doesn't mean that Trey Parker and Matt Stone equate rape with lesser things.
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You have seen the one where George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg literally rape Indiana Jones, right? :p

That was quite a smart episode in the sense that the hysteria of the towns folk was, I think, actually a poke at how hysterical people were about IJ:KOTCS.

That said, KOTCS was dreadful - beyond terribad.
 
Watched it again just to confirm my thoughts on the first viewing (not good) and the setup from TFA gave it so many chances for it to be epic yet almost all of these "moments" are just discarded with the worst being -

Luke & Rey's first meeting
Luke vs Ben fight
Lukes Death

I still liked the Ben/Rey tag-team fight and the stunning looking Hyperspace attack which, while it opens a billion cans of worms and is bad for the franchise going forward, is still one of the most beautiful shots ever shown in a Star Wars film but it hasn't changed my mind, I still don't think it's a good film (poor script/acting/direction) never mind a good "Star Wars" film.
 
Nitefly said:
You have seen the one where George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg literally rape Indiana Jones, right? :p

That was quite a smart episode in the sense that the hysteria of the towns folk was, I think, actually a poke at how hysterical people were about IJ:KOTCS.

That said, KOTCS was dreadful - beyond terribad.
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And there’s another grandpa Indi movie incoming... apparently he finally dies in this one...
 
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