STD tests

Had one done last year after being careless.

Arrange an appointment then go to the clinic.

Once you get in you will see a doctor who will ask you lots of questions, then do a quick check of your bits and that's that bit done.

Next a nurse will take a blood test and you will do a urine sample.

After that comes the VERY VERY nasty bit ;) no only joking it's just a basic swab test. A tiny little stick the size of a coktail stick is pricked on the inside of the head of the penis. Doesn't go in very far and feels like a tiny pinch.

After that they basically say if you don't hear from them in about 4 weeks times then you're all clear.

Was good news for me, but won't be stupid again.
 
(The thought made me wince) My deepest sympathies pal, how were the results?
I had NSU (non specific urethritis) but it could have been chlamydia.

I was reading some pamphlets while I was waiting and apparently it can make you infertile amongst other things as well as ******* fire. And that’s just at the low end of the spectrum, some of the other diseases could kill you.

They gave me antibiotics, the burning stopped after a few days and when I went for the follow up appointment a few weeks later I was all clear. I was really lucky.

Does NSU get you discount anywhere?
Huh?
That really made me laugh :D
 
Had one done last year after being careless.

Arrange an appointment then go to the clinic.

Once you get in you will see a doctor who will ask you lots of questions, then do a quick check of your bits and that's that bit done.

Next a nurse will take a blood test and you will do a urine sample.

After that comes the VERY VERY nasty bit ;) no only joking it's just a basic swab test. A tiny little stick the size of a coktail stick is pricked on the inside of the head of the penis. Doesn't go in very far and feels like a tiny pinch.

After that they basically say if you don't hear from them in about 4 weeks times then you're all clear.

Was good news for me, but won't be stupid again.


my little man is sensitive enough without someone pinching the inside of him :eek:
 
I had one done before.

Let's just say the stinging sensation from the cotton bud down the johnson is not pleasant :(

Luckily I was fine and didn't need the "umbrella" test.
 
Aye the cotton bud is not pleasant, and you're not allowed to pee for up to 2 hours before the test.

I have a strong bladder but DAMN I've never needed to pee so much in my life!
 
I had to go after my holiday in Magaluf, the protection split so :/

But yeah it's convinced me to make sure it never happens again

Most painful and uncomfortable thing ever when they stick the swab done there, its like a chop stick that gets thicker as it goes along, they put it about 5cm in

I screamed like a girl :(

EDIT - After reading the rest of the posts I feel slightly hard done by, everyone else got a little cocktail stick like swab, mine was honestly a lot bigger than that :( The nurse hated me
 
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EDIT - After reading the rest of the posts I feel slightly hard done by, everyone else got a little cocktail stick like swab, mine was honestly a lot bigger than that :( The nurse hated me
Suppose it's all relative, lol ;) :p
 
It's nothing to be worried about at all!

Get it all done, you may as well - it's all free after all.

The "terifying" swab doesn't hurt one bit, it's a mildly uncomfortable sensation (and I mean mild) for about half a second. It didn't hurt to pee afterward either.

(I should know, I couldn't pee when they wanted me to, so had to pee last, and it was fine!)

It's a good thing to do.
 
I went 4 or 5 times when I was younger (and very stupid), and where I live the procedure (on your first visit) went something like this;

Walk in and register, totally confidential, they then give you a card with your own unique number on it, you then use that for any subsequent visits.
Have an 'interview' with a doc. He'll ask you some quite open and embarrassing questions about your sexual habits!
Then onto the testing. This entails a urine test, blood test, visual inspection (for warts/sores etc), swab down your urethra (large cotton wool bud) and scrape (long plastic thing with a small hook/spoon on the end), again down your urethra. All pretty painless tbh, unless you have an infection!

Then a wait for the results (except the blood tests). Once this is done you will have another meeting with a health officer who will tell you the good/bad news and how you will be treated.

4 weeks after if you've heard nothing, blood test is clean.

And don't believe all the horror stories about 'umbrellas' down your japs eye!
Trust me after all the times I went the only umbrella I saw was when it was raining!
 
hrmmm well ive had the blood and peeing test but not the umbrella trick.... and this was after i said to my local GP i wanted to be tested/checked out for stds hrmm... (all i got was a print out of some stats with a list of stds and it showing whether i had em or not...luckily it was negative for all on the list.
(yeah this was after a 1NS)

should i go back and demand a cocktail stick down my todger? Being thorough and all that....
 
With the life insurance thing, asking if you've had an HIV test. Do they think that it's a good thing (decreased premium) if you've had one and it's negative? Or do they think it's a bad thing (increased premium) because you thought you might have HIV?

If it's the latter (which I suspect it may be) then that's disgusting, as it encourages people not to get tested, but i'm sure that this was covered in the thread about it not so long ago.

Obviously it's the latter. Let's be realistic here, your not going to want to insure someone who is going to die in a few years are you?
 
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