This thread should not be read whilst eating tea.
Getting blown by another bloke at 15 FFS oh dear, you have to laugh, but it still turns my stomach
homophobic much?
***The All New OCUK Anonymous Confession Thread!***
- Thread starter Burnsy2023
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homophobic much?
I'm not sure of the "exact" meaning of that, but I will say I have no problem with gay people and what they get up to in private, however the thought of putting a penis in another mans mouth does indeed make me feel ill.
Call it what you like.
I'm not sure of the "exact" meaning of that, but I will say I have no problem with gay people and what they get up to in private, however the thought of putting a penis in another mans mouth does indeed make me feel ill.
Call it what you like.
You do realise that male and female mouths are identical, and I'd wager feel the same, right?
This thread should not be read whilst eating tea.
Getting blown by another bloke at 15 FFS oh dear, you have to laugh, but it still turns my stomach
This seems more of a story than a confession. Not sure why it would be sent anonymously. Unless....
Dunno. Isn't this the childhood equivalent of subsribing to alternative gay porn?
Soldato
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"smokey bacon crisps" seems fair?
Who wouldn't for smokey bacon crisps?
Associate
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You do realise that male and female mouths are identical, and I'd wager feel the same, right?
Sounds like you know from experience?
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When i was 11 or 12 my aunt and uncle bought a huge house with an indoor swimming pool close to where i lived. Me and my siblings frequented the pool during one summer before they sold up and moved to Spain.
Anyway...To cut a long story short, i was extremely self conscious of my body when i was younger because i was overweight, and because we didn't really know my aunt or uncle that well i hated having them see my adolescent moobs so tried to stay in the pool as much as i could if they were around. One time when they were both around the pool i felt something brewing, you know, downstairs, and knew it was one of those turds that need to be set free asap or else! So instead of going through the embarrassment of getting out of the pool and having them see me, i lowered the back of my trunks and waded past my younger brother and squeezed it out. I started swimming when i had finished. I had got to the top of the pool and turned round to go back, and that's when my sister noticed the brown turtle in the deep blue (or in this case, my aunt and uncles pool). She screamed and swam away from it, i shouted "it was him" (pointing at my younger brother) and then started to say "i seen him do it, it was him". My aunt and uncle looked shocked and disapointed, stood at the side of the pool they told Mark to get out and go to the toilet, obviously he was protesting saying it wasn't him, but it couldn't of been his older more 'mature' brother could it I had the laugh of my life watching my uncle fishing the invader out of the pool with a net. All these years later and that story is still passed around at family get together and things much to the dismay of my brother, but to this day haven't owned up to it to my family, and doubt i ever will 
Anyway...To cut a long story short, i was extremely self conscious of my body when i was younger because i was overweight, and because we didn't really know my aunt or uncle that well i hated having them see my adolescent moobs so tried to stay in the pool as much as i could if they were around. One time when they were both around the pool i felt something brewing, you know, downstairs, and knew it was one of those turds that need to be set free asap or else! So instead of going through the embarrassment of getting out of the pool and having them see me, i lowered the back of my trunks and waded past my younger brother and squeezed it out. I started swimming when i had finished. I had got to the top of the pool and turned round to go back, and that's when my sister noticed the brown turtle in the deep blue (or in this case, my aunt and uncles pool). She screamed and swam away from it, i shouted "it was him" (pointing at my younger brother) and then started to say "i seen him do it, it was him". My aunt and uncle looked shocked and disapointed, stood at the side of the pool they told Mark to get out and go to the toilet, obviously he was protesting saying it wasn't him, but it couldn't of been his older more 'mature' brother could it
I had the laugh of my life watching my uncle fishing the invader out of the pool with a net. All these years later and that story is still passed around at family get together and things much to the dismay of my brother, but to this day haven't owned up to it to my family, and doubt i ever will
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In response to Raist saying "This seems more of a story than a confession. Not sure why it would be sent anonymously."
The confession being that I actually offered the kids smokey bacon crisps to do it again when i should have just let them be!
The confession being that I actually offered the kids smokey bacon crisps to do it again when i should have just let them be!
Soldato
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What next, "True Poo" the movie.
Sounds like you know from experience?
More like just standard biology, but I'll entertain your notion
Soldato
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Good thing it wasn't one of those runny things you get after a night out drinking and a morning fry-up.
Anyone else reminded of "Caddyshack"?
"DOODIEEEE!!!"
No sex therapy required for these two. I wonder if they moved on to marbles or bigger things.
Just read this thread, this comment didn't get anywhere near the love it deserves, had me in stitches!
Edit: Cracked up again while posting this, quality.
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