**The Mental Health Thread**

I have an appointment with my GP today to go over anxiety and depression. I've been putting it off for a long time, convincing myself I'm fine. But after this week the reality is I'm really not ok.
 
FoxEye said:
Having one of those moments.

Where you are absolutely struck, smacked about the head, by the reality that life is pointless, utterly. That no matter what you do and how hard you try, happiness will always elude you. Because there is nothing on this Earth that you can do, experience, feel that won't immediately vanish again a few moments after you found it, or stop doing it (whatever it is).

That nothing within reach can bring any meaning to your life. That this is going to keep being the reality no matter what. That you can't change it. This feeling, this emptiness, this hopelessness, this despair, this loneliness... this is all there is; all there will be; all there can be.

So why bother.

This feeling will pass. You go back to routine of living. But it will come again, because this feeling is always there when you face the truth, the reality of life. All is futile.
Click to expand...

I think these sorts of feelings are probably more common now than some people would realise, especially amongst atheists. There's even a formal branch of philosophy called Existentialism, one particular popular quote from this discipline is that we're "condemned to be free".

Nietzsche (of "God is dead" fame) had a lot to say on it, saying that we were essentially free to choose our own values and meaning, and that our purpose should be to live our maxim to it's fullest. In this strain of philosophy, you're not tied to any particular overarching code, so develop one and go for it! You're in the driver's seat, essentially.

Having brushes with some of these negative feelings myself at times, I tend to find that putting oneself in a controlling position, where you can direct your affairs, tends to work. Try and control things and set the pace of your life, rather than being buffeted around by external events.
 
Fusion said:
I think these sorts of feelings are probably more common now than some people would realise, especially amongst atheists. There's even a formal branch of philosophy called Existentialism, one particular popular quote from this discipline is that we're "condemned to be free".

Nietzsche (of "God is dead" fame) had a lot to say on it, saying that we were essentially free to choose our own values and meaning, and that our purpose should be to live our maxim to it's fullest. In this strain of philosophy, you're not tied to any particular overarching code, so develop one and go for it! You're in the driver's seat, essentially.

Having brushes with some of these negative feelings myself at times, I tend to find that putting oneself in a controlling position, where you can direct your affairs, tends to work. Try and control things and set the pace of your life, rather than being buffeted around by external events.
Click to expand...

But its also quite liberaring to think that ultimately everything is pointless. I find it reduces any pressures i put on myself.
 
Bassmansam said:
But its also quite liberaring to think that ultimately everything is pointless. I find it reduces any pressures i put on myself.
Click to expand...

What’s the point putting pressures on yourself anyway if you can just use the excuse of everything being pointless? I don’t think it’s that healthy to do that really unless you’re happy living without much, which is quite a difficult existence now. I once had a similar mindset but I found myself getting nowhere in life thinking like that, things might be pointless to you but for the people in your life they won’t be.
 
Ayahuasca said:
What’s the point putting pressures on yourself anyway if you can just use the excuse of everything being pointless? I don’t think it’s that healthy to do that really unless you’re happy living without much, which is quite a difficult existence now. I once had a similar mindset but I found myself getting nowhere in life thinking like that, things might be pointless to you but for the people in your life they won’t be.
Click to expand...

Why would i care what others think? I do okay for myself, have a flat a modest paying job. I can still have some nice things even if i think everytbing is ultimately pointless.
 
Bassmansam said:
Why would i care what others think? I do okay for myself, have a flat a modest paying job. I can still have some nice things even if i think everytbing is ultimately pointless.
Click to expand...

Well that’s fine I guess if you don’t interact with anyone or have any responsibilities over children or something but ultimately your actions do affect other people and I think it’s a bit reckless to go into everything with the mindset of it doesn’t matter because it’s all pointless anyway.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Well that’s fine I guess if you don’t interact with anyone or have any responsibilities over children or something but ultimately your actions do affect other people and I think it’s a bit reckless to go into everything with the mindset of it doesn’t matter because it’s all pointless anyway.
Click to expand...

I’m not sure what you mean? I don’t go round telling people i know everything is pointless don’t bother with anything?
 
Quite an interesting study:

https://www.newscientist.com/articl...robably-isnt-a-real-condition-study-suggests/

Certainly rings true for me and many others I’ve witnessed where something is going rather badly in my life and I’ve turned to putting in ridiculous hours into games.

Rather than an addiction it seems it’s just better than going without, I know with heroin users a lot of them eventually hate the high and simply do it because it’s still better than being sober.
 
bobbarley said:
I have an appointment with my GP today to go over anxiety and depression. I've been putting it off for a long time, convincing myself I'm fine. But after this week the reality is I'm really not ok.
Click to expand...

Just my experience but I find writing stuff down on your bad days helps a lot with this.

I frequently put off appointments and dodge phone calls cause I feel like I'm 'fine' but having notes helps me make sure I don't brush off how bad I can get.

Had my GP go over some stuff I wrote and it really helps get it all out there so they can provide me with all the help I need.

Good luck :)
 
Ayahuasca said:
Well then your actions don’t really suit what you’re telling yourself as it sounds like you do care about some things still but are pretending to yourself it’s all pointless.
Click to expand...
I think a lot of my problem is that I mostly direct my attention towards things that are trivial, and bring trivial/negligible reward, and certainly no meaning, to my life.

Like listening to an album, playing a video game, or watching a series on TV. And all the while fail to address the herd of elephants merrily stampeding around the room, eating all the trees and crapping on the furniture.

And then think "woe is me, all things must end, I've finished Breaking Bad, oh the humanity" (That's an example, I've only just finished S1). Naturally, when it's all over I'm no different to the person I was when I started. No different in fact to the five year old child who had trouble fitting in at school. No different to the 18 year old who spent every New Year by himself. Same thoughts, same outlook, same all-encompassing fear of failure and fear of every human being crawling about on this planet.

And perhaps that's part of the problem. There's this big old empty space and no quantity of box sets or vidya games will fill it. And when whatever temporary distraction/obsession du jour finishes, I've got nothing but this big old empty space gnawing at me. I can see it, feel it, dive in and swim in it. It's in front of my eyes and behind my eyes. It's everywhere I look and everywhere I go.

All I think about it me; my emptiness; me, me, me, me, me. And all I see when I think about me is a problem the size of a mountain.

Everybody says I'm too negative. Lols.
 
FoxEye said:
I think a lot of my problem is that I mostly direct my attention towards things that are trivial, and bring trivial/negligible reward, and certainly no meaning, to my life.

Like listening to an album, playing a video game, or watching a series on TV. And all the while fail to address the herd of elephants merrily stampeding around the room, eating all the trees and crapping on the furniture.

And then think "woe is me, all things must end, I've finished Breaking Bad, oh the humanity" (That's an example, I've only just finished S1). Naturally, when it's all over I'm no different to the person I was when I started. No different in fact to the five year old child who had trouble fitting in at school. No different to the 18 year old who spent every New Year by himself. Same thoughts, same outlook, same all-encompassing fear of failure and fear of every human being crawling about on this planet.

And perhaps that's part of the problem. There's this big old empty space and no quantity of box sets or vidya games will fill it. And when whatever temporary distraction/obsession du jour finishes, I've got nothing but this big old empty space gnawing at me. I can see it, feel it, dive in and swim in it. It's in front of my eyes and behind my eyes. It's everywhere I look and everywhere I go.

All I think about it me; my emptiness; me, me, me, me, me. And all I see when I think about me is a problem the size of a mountain.

Everybody says I'm too negative. Lols.
Click to expand...

This is why I gave up gaming. It's a virtual escape. It gives you rewards you may not be getting in real life, it takes your attention away from that and ultimately, as it's virtual you have nothing to show for the time and effort you've put in. If I had spent as much time doing carpentry as I have gaming, I'd be a master by now. Making things that will last long after I've passed away, instead of virtual things that are lost as soon as the game ends. If gaming is all you have, when you die, what is there to show for your life.

This is probably why people feel things are useless, they are focussing on the wrong things. Doing things to help other people for instance, to improve their life, hell, to even improve their day by letting them out into traffic can give you a boost, it ultimately improves your own life. Maybe if everyone stopped gaming, binge watching box sets and got more involved in the community we live in everyone would be happier.

As much as a I love technology and the internet, I also think it's some of the worst things that has happened to us. (Anti) social networking really doesn't help either.

Simon Sinek has some good videos on Youtube that are worth watching along this topic :)
 
FoxEye said:
I think a lot of my problem is that I mostly direct my attention towards things that are trivial, and bring trivial/negligible reward, and certainly no meaning, to my life.

Like listening to an album, playing a video game, or watching a series on TV. And all the while fail to address the herd of elephants merrily stampeding around the room, eating all the trees and crapping on the furniture.

And then think "woe is me, all things must end, I've finished Breaking Bad, oh the humanity" (That's an example, I've only just finished S1). Naturally, when it's all over I'm no different to the person I was when I started. No different in fact to the five year old child who had trouble fitting in at school. No different to the 18 year old who spent every New Year by himself. Same thoughts, same outlook, same all-encompassing fear of failure and fear of every human being crawling about on this planet.

And perhaps that's part of the problem. There's this big old empty space and no quantity of box sets or vidya games will fill it. And when whatever temporary distraction/obsession du jour finishes, I've got nothing but this big old empty space gnawing at me. I can see it, feel it, dive in and swim in it. It's in front of my eyes and behind my eyes. It's everywhere I look and everywhere I go.

All I think about it me; my emptiness; me, me, me, me, me. And all I see when I think about me is a problem the size of a mountain.

Everybody says I'm too negative. Lols.
Click to expand...

I think that's pretty normal to not get anything from games or movies, or to feel a sense of emptiness after finishing a series, after all these things aren't really doing anything to enchance your life, they're an escape from the mundane day to day 9 till 5 life and unfulfilling careers, relationships or other personal problems. There's a reason a good chunk of those seen as successful or with interesting lives aren't binge watching shows 4 hours a night or gaming their weekends away.

If you want to feel a sense of worth why not look at some community projects? I did one a few years ago helping to renovate a local park area and it gave me a whole new perspective on people and what can be acheived by a few over a number of weekends, it now looks fantastic, new wooden bridges and what not were installed over the stream, fantastic flowerbeds and ponds. I walk the dog through it and still get a sense of acheivement knowing I played a part in it.
 
That sounds really bad solus and the best piece of advice I can give is to speak t o your partner about it. Explain that you she's unwell but you need to her take over some tasks, such as phoning around, paying bills etc. This can all be done from a bed with a mobile and a laptop.

I felt resentment towards my wife, for several things over several years and it had a negative effect on us, but once I started speaking, communicating how I felt it really helped.

Can the kids take on little chores?

How about a wheel chair for your wife? helps her get out and about.

Is it your business? can you get help help with cleaners coming in? Disability help from the council?

What jobs can you get rid of, or ignore? Try and simplify things as much as you can.
 
In the best way possible you need to explain to her that if things carry on as they are then you both could find yourselves in a far worse position financially and the stress will be even greater on you, you can't continue doing everything as you'll eventually break and as a business owner that could become very damaging for you, your wife and your children.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom