**The Mental Health Thread**

Normally for stress they'll advise to take a week or two off, which you can't, but you can always go and ask them.

The thing is, what is getting you stressed isn't going to go away, so you need to learn to work around it, which is easier said than done. This isn't because you need therapy, it's because you're feeling overwhelmed and that means you need to change the situation. If you change the situation and you feel the same, then yes, i'd look at speaking to your doctor.

For your wife, if you can't talk to her without emotions getting involved then write her a letter. It's far easier to get it all out and stay calm, it also gives her time to think and respond.

I'd also avoid a few cans of beer as well, it certainly won't help to use it as a coping tool.
 
Solus said:
I just feel helpless and stuck in a situation where I am a slave. If I don't do it, nobody will.
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yeah this is tough, you have too much burden on you and need some help. i dont think meds or therapy will help if you still have all the pressure of everything you do on you, no-one could do that
is there a school bus run that could drop the kids near your house then your partner could pick them up, even if it means walking a mile or so?
 
Solus said:
My partner cannot walk more than 50 metres i'd say, she has had to go back to the car when with me (going from car to school).
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there must be some help available from the government , i'd start making enquiries with your local health centre explaining your situation
worth going to the doctors too so its on record that this is affecting your health
 
Hiijinx said:
Nice to see a thread like this! It really does help to talk about mental health.

I've suffered pretty much my whole life with anxiety and low moods and am currently in counselling.

I lost my Father when I was very young in quite a horrific accident from an old WW2 mortar he found whilst farming (lived in Germany at the time).
I still can't get the images out of my head.

Fast forward a few years now in the UK, I grew up with a single Mum who had to work long hours to keep us warm and fed and while she loved us greatly the lack of a parent figure really effected me I believe.

Under great stress at school i fell ill with a mystery illness which had me bed bound for weeks, I can't even remember my 14th birthday it was so severe. Eventually diagnosed with ME/CFS I spent the remainder of my school years home tutored as I could barely get out of bed my energy was so depleted. Got a few GCSE's but lost all my friends, had to give up football which was my greatest passion in life and basically became a recluse.

Moving on, I have semi-recovered from the CFS but it has left lasting impressions to my life, Doctors believe it to be mental but it still leaves me with physical symptoms. Whoever first coined the phrase "its all in your head!" was talking out his/her arse.

I shoot out of bed frequently which gives my partner such a fright i have recently turned to sleeping in the guest room so I don't disturb her. The slightest stress in life is a trigger for me so I have to try and eliminate as much as possible in terms of life style and employment. While I am no where near my dream job, I am content and stable but still have this tedious nagging in the back of my head telling me I am under achieving.

I have never really talked about any of this before but recently been encouraged to by my therapist and i have to say, it really does help just having an outlet and not bottling it up instead.

Its basically left me feeling lost in life, the only memories I have are either of loss, illness or the hurt of my friends abandoning me - thank god for the internet and gaming, I believe its the only thing which kept me sane.
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I'm currently going through what you have unfortunately experienced. Except my passion was cricket and that I had to give up along with almost everything else.

I agree that the symptoms are physical and the mental aspect of it is as a result of the physical symptoms. I have tried to explain to people on so many occasions who have came up with something a long the lines of, "it's in your head". Personally, those who lack a degree of compassion and understanding use this phrase to fill a void in their brain. But we can comprehend what we are feeling even if we cannot express it clearly as some would like.

Having a chronic illness such as ME/CFS is a massive reality check. It puts everything you ever took for granted into perspective. I realise this beyond anything else. I don't know if recovering from such an experience makes one stronger but I am almost certain you feel grateful for how things are now. Even if they are slightly better.

Thanks for sharing your words. I am glad to read that things have improved for you. I hope they continue to do so!
 
i really need to build up courage to go to a meet up (split with ex 2yrs ago),im on my 4 days off cycle of my shift but probably wont talk to another person face to face (apart from lidl checkout) i sort of think i cant add anything to a group ,sometimes i wallow in my isolation just me and the dog watching the seals and birds for hours on end, coming home to lotr blu ray or similar . but my detachment and surreal feeling is increasing ,maybe medication other than red wine may would ease my social anxiety
 
Solus said:
The only answer I've come up with is to give up work and claim benefits. I really would hate to do this though, so I'm unsure it would actually help how I feel.
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Depends, may be viable temporarily until you feel you are able to do more again.

Other options are look into positions that don't aggravate your problems. Work from home somehow or much more locally if you travel.
 
@Solus Your partner might be eligible for PIP which would give you the ability to get some paid help for her, thus giving you a break. It's not means tested but is based on her ability to do things like looking after herself, walk etc. I tried to get it but failed as my Multiple Sclerosis isn't bed enough on good days and they don't seem to take mental health in to consideration. If your partner can't walk 50M then that's a massive load of points towards the mobility component of PIP which seems to be weighted the highest.
 
I'm not sure what I'm doing posting here. The last few weeks I have been worn out both physically and mentally from work and other issues. I thought I could cope better than this but clearly not. Just a reminder to everyone that even if everything is seemingly fine, it can affect the best of us. I don't post often but feel sort or mentally trapped and yet dissociated.
 
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teddy3578 said:
I'm not sure what I'm doing posting here. The last few weeks I have been worn out both physically and mentally from work and other issues. I thought I could cope better than this but clearly not. Just a reminder to everyone that even if everything is seemingly fine, it can affect the best of us. I don't post often but feel sort or mentally trapped and yet dissociated.
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not heard of the expression "the straw that broke the camels back"? You can handle things very well for a long time, but eventually, and unexpectedly it can break you.

Nothing wrong with it, everyone has a limit they can reach. the good thing is that you're talking about it, which means you can deal with it :)


UPDATE FROM ME:

Doctors appointment yesterday, I'm coming off meds over the next 30 days as the wife wants to try for a baby. These meds removed my sex drive and when we did I couldn't ever finish so really doesn't help when trying for a baby.

Next step is talking therapy for my suspected BPD, that's going to be hard work. With living in various levels of constant pain as well due to my PsA my wife is extremely anxious about it, she's worried i'll go back to my old grumpy, angry and snappy closed off self. It's something I'm going to have to monitor and we've agreed, my health comes first.

Going to be a long journey I think, but, it all starts with a single step!
 
Saw a therapist for the first time yesterday. She seems to know her stuff so will be sticking with her for weekly sessions as she pretty much read me like a book the moment I sat down. £70 a pop but I don't think I can carry on living my life like this and I need to be a better person to my wife.

To keep it short - ****** childhood and teenager years has lead to me constantly evaluating previous partners etc, self doubting myself , lack of confidence and just generally shutting down/not opening up.
Got depression, tried meds didn't work, had group counselling was pretty crap, went some time alone thinking I could beat it but its recently flared up again.

My wife is super supportive and I am happy I am with her, but the emotional strain is getting in the way big time.
 
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Mum got sectioned last night. Being brought up (and i use the term in its very loosest sense) by someone with bi-polar isn't as much fun as you'd expect it to be.
 
Rilot said:
@Solus Your partner might be eligible for PIP which would give you the ability to get some paid help for her, thus giving you a break. It's not means tested but is based on her ability to do things like looking after herself, walk etc. I tried to get it but failed as my Multiple Sclerosis isn't bed enough on good days and they don't seem to take mental health in to consideration. If your partner can't walk 50M then that's a massive load of points towards the mobility component of PIP which seems to be weighted the highest.
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They do count mental health but you just need to word it as your worst day and keep fighting them for it.

The wife has Bipolar & BPD and some physical issues. They kept denying it even though GP said you should get it. Ended up going to court and the court sided with us (Didn't have to go to court they just looked through the evidence). It took about 18 months but we got about a 10K backpayment.
 
Maybe I'll try and apply again because I'm pretty much housebound these days. Do you know if there's a time limit for a new application after a previous rejection?
 
What a bad week I've been having this week.

My temper has been up and down, everyone seems to be annoying me, my OCD has been dreadful, I am constantly checking doors and windows, I feel a need to organise and tidy up everything and I am staying in a lot when I'm on my own and not even doing my evening walks.

So , need to get my ass into gear and do some walks, and try and ignore the compulsion to check doors and windows. I can't even go to bed as I don't want to disturb the bedroom as its looking just how I want it. I'm kipping on the sofa again. That is just a bad habit.

To everyone having a bad week, feel for you all.
 
Following a recent break up from a long term partner, the anxiety and panic attacks I used to experience a few years ago have come back with a vengence. It's made worse because I now feel depressed and internally focussed as well. I can cap my feelings quite well through the day because I focus on my studies and going to the gym, however I fall apart when I get home. Sleeping alone for the first time in almost a decade sucks worse than I would ever have imagined, as does having no one at home to talk to. If anyone has any tips for overcoming, or at least reducing such feelings (hard drugs asside), I'd be happy to hear. In a way, and I hope this doesn't sound too weird, but reading through comments on here from people in similar situations is quite cathartic.
 
tek81 said:
Following a recent break up from a long term partner, the anxiety and panic attacks I used to experience a few years ago have come back with a vengence. It's made worse because I now feel depressed and internally focussed as well. I can cap my feelings quite well through the day because I focus on my studies and going to the gym, however I fall apart when I get home. Sleeping alone for the first time in almost a decade sucks worse than I would ever have imagined, as does having no one at home to talk to. If anyone has any tips for overcoming, or at least reducing such feelings (hard drugs asside), I'd be happy to hear. In a way, and I hope this doesn't sound too weird, but reading through comments on here from people in similar situations is quite cathartic.
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Hey mate, I came out of a nearly four year on and off relationship 6 months ago. I didn't want kids and she did, horrible letting someone go over that. But anyway my anxiety had been mostly fine when I was with her but after we stopped talking it came back hard. I've resisted contacting her for help and gritted through it. After 6 months I feel like I'm heading towards letting her go and being happier. The anxiety comes and but hits hard at times with depression.

So far I've found the gp has thrown more meds at me which I don't want, I want to come off what I'm on now.

I'm paying for therapy which is helping more than I could imagine. Shes great and hot which probably doesn't help me emotionally but at least I enjoy it ha. Gym at first but I've switched that to climbing/bouldering as I find it more fun and I socialise within the climbing centres. Outdoors, walking, climbing mountains, planning trips while testing my anxiety. Using the meetup app as well to go to clubs.

Nothing has cured me but this all helps, bouldering/climbing is probably the best thing I've done. Building up my confidence while getting fit and there is always a nice view of hot people climbing.

It has got easier me over the 6 months but it's been tough. Hope you feel better soon.

/Edit and the feeling of coming home alone/sleeping I found very hard to deal with. I tried distractions and staying out but I felt like I was avoiding it. Sometimes just accepting it and feeling it has been the best thing I've done.
 
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