**The Mental Health Thread**

tek81 said:
Following a recent break up from a long term partner, the anxiety and panic attacks I used to experience a few years ago have come back with a vengence. It's made worse because I now feel depressed and internally focussed as well. I can cap my feelings quite well through the day because I focus on my studies and going to the gym, however I fall apart when I get home. Sleeping alone for the first time in almost a decade sucks worse than I would ever have imagined, as does having no one at home to talk to. If anyone has any tips for overcoming, or at least reducing such feelings (hard drugs asside), I'd be happy to hear. In a way, and I hope this doesn't sound too weird, but reading through comments on here from people in similar situations is quite cathartic.
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Can you switch your thoughts off, or at least reduce the quantity of them? I think a lot of people that get depressed/anxious have strong internal monologues. If you can focus on something singularly, like you do with your studies and gym, that will help too. What about books?
 
I think my anxiety probably started when my dad passed away nearly 6 years ago. I just never realised how much I'd lost myself until the start of this year.
I've had counselling in the past which has helped me to learn it's ok to feel sad, angry etc but lately there have been more stressful things happening and it's pulling me down again.
I recently went to the doctors because I feel sometimes my heart rate is too fast when I'm sat down watching tv and it wasn't a situation where I felt it was a panic attack starting. Trouble was it was causing me to freak and have a panic attack lol.

My ECG and blood test have come back fine so they've given me info on how to deal with stress etc. Until the main stressors go I feel like I'm going to be like this for a while. (Mostly things to do with my mum's house - I live with her as I can't afford to move out) Even now writing this I can feel myself getting worked up thinking about it all. I know it's not on me to take on everyone else's worries but that's just who I am. I'm a worrier. I stress about stress before there's stress to stress about.

I split with my OH in Aug which I am gutted about but I think it's probably for the best. I miss having someone but I need to focus on myself first. It's not really fair to drag someone down by being a miserable moo half (most of) the time!

I've just lost so much motivation, I'm tired all time and then I get annoyed at myself for not being proactive :/
 
secretspy said:
I think my anxiety probably started when my dad passed away nearly 6 years ago. I just never realised how much I'd lost myself until the start of this year.
I've had counselling in the past which has helped me to learn it's ok to feel sad, angry etc but lately there have been more stressful things happening and it's pulling me down again.
I recently went to the doctors because I feel sometimes my heart rate is too fast when I'm sat down watching tv and it wasn't a situation where I felt it was a panic attack starting. Trouble was it was causing me to freak and have a panic attack lol.

My ECG and blood test have come back fine so they've given me info on how to deal with stress etc. Until the main stressors go I feel like I'm going to be like this for a while. (Mostly things to do with my mum's house - I live with her as I can't afford to move out) Even now writing this I can feel myself getting worked up thinking about it all. I know it's not on me to take on everyone else's worries but that's just who I am. I'm a worrier. I stress about stress before there's stress to stress about.

I split with my OH in Aug which I am gutted about but I think it's probably for the best. I miss having someone but I need to focus on myself first. It's not really fair to drag someone down by being a miserable moo half (most of) the time!

I've just lost so much motivation, I'm tired all time and then I get annoyed at myself for not being proactive :/
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Hey man,

You mentioned you've had counselling - have you ever been referred for cognitive behaviour therapy? It really helped me out. I USED to be a massive worrier - i used to disaster-ise everything to the point where the worry just took over.
CBT really gave me some great techniques to deal with these issues and i can safely say it was like having a new lease of life.
 
jonessa said:
Hey man,

You mentioned you've had counselling - have you ever been referred for cognitive behaviour therapy? It really helped me out. I USED to be a massive worrier - i used to disaster-ise everything to the point where the worry just took over.
CBT really gave me some great techniques to deal with these issues and i can safely say it was like having a new lease of life.
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The doctor did mention CBT but it's self referral now so I haven't looked at it yet. I've tried mood gym online before which shows you different ways to look at a situation. My main issue is worrying about time and getting things done. There's a lot that needs to be done to the house and I've been the only one helping my mum to sort things.

Then I have this whole drama with my sister and brother in law. Long story short she decided almost 2 years ago she doesn't want to be with him anymore and she's trying to force my mum and i into the middle of their arguments all the time. It's all got really petty. I've already made it clear that I'm not taking sides as he's been like a brother to me since I was 5 (am now 32) she even had my mum in tears the other day because she thought a tea towel that I had bought her was actually from him :rolleyes:
Every time I'm around my sister now I'm on edge having to watch what I say.
 
TheMeekon said:
Hey mate, I came out of a nearly four year on and off relationship 6 months ago. I didn't want kids and she did, horrible letting someone go over that. But anyway my anxiety had been mostly fine when I was with her but after we stopped talking it came back hard. I've resisted contacting her for help and gritted through it. After 6 months I feel like I'm heading towards letting her go and being happier. The anxiety comes and but hits hard at times with depression.

So far I've found the gp has thrown more meds at me which I don't want, I want to come off what I'm on now.

I'm paying for therapy which is helping more than I could imagine. Shes great and hot which probably doesn't help me emotionally but at least I enjoy it ha. Gym at first but I've switched that to climbing/bouldering as I find it more fun and I socialise within the climbing centres. Outdoors, walking, climbing mountains, planning trips while testing my anxiety. Using the meetup app as well to go to clubs.

Nothing has cured me but this all helps, bouldering/climbing is probably the best thing I've done. Building up my confidence while getting fit and there is always a nice view of hot people climbing.

It has got easier me over the 6 months but it's been tough. Hope you feel better soon.

/Edit and the feeling of coming home alone/sleeping I found very hard to deal with. I tried distractions and staying out but I felt like I was avoiding it. Sometimes just accepting it and feeling it has been the best thing I've done.
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Thanks for that:) I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and start pushing myself into more challenging situations. I used to but became complacent. With regard to your break up; that's pretty much the same reason for mine. Ah well, the world keeps turning. Gonna get myself out on the bike tommorow, which helps.
 
linktoinsanity said:
Pretty much sums me up. In my case I can't turn them off, not sure about tek81's case though.
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I can't turn them off eithrr, if I could I wouldn't be ill! I read a book called the worry trick and instead of like CBT where you try to reason or counter the thought it advised to humour them like an annoying pest. It actually does help.

Most of the thoughts are 'what ifs' and the book changes that to 'lets pretend'. It's all lies.
 
tek81 said:
Thanks for that:) I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and start pushing myself into more challenging situations. I used to but became complacent. With regard to your break up; that's pretty much the same reason for mine. Ah well, the world keeps turning. Gonna get myself out on the bike tommorow, which helps.
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Really hard break up as I have no bad blood, arguments or behaviour to hate on and use as motivation. I just see her with someone else and have to be happy for her.

I need to get the push bike out again.
 
linktoinsanity said:
Pretty much sums me up. In my case I can't turn them off, not sure about tek81's case though.
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I've always been somewhat of a deep thinker, which doesn't help. However, I can push my thoughts to the back of my mind, just not at times like this. Reading, revision and exercise help, but it's not a permanent fix because when I get home and/or lift my head up from my books, I realise I'm completely alone and start internalizing again.
 
As someone else mentioned earlier in the thread, it's quite cathartic hearing others talk of their issues here. I've posted a few times in the last month, here's a brief update.

So, after 3 weeks and 2 days, I return to work tomorrow. Been on medication for 2 weeks, not really feeling any changes yet. Have pretty overwhelming anxiety today about going back, almost lost my appetite completely and if I think about it too much, start getting the verge of those panicky feelings again. I have a telephone referral interview for a counselling/therapy/CBT service on 16th, had to wait almost 5 weeks for that.

This time off has been amazing, feel like my 6 month old truly recognises me properly and responds so well to me now, only been seeing him an hour or two a day prior to this. Time with the wife has helped as well. A bunch of friends all got together to see me yesterday, that really made me feel cared for, told them all whats going on and they've been offering so much support. I still wake up every morning with a heavy weight and feels like a struggle to get out of bed, hits me hard before I fall asleep as well.

I still don't know what is really causing my anxiety/depression/panic...I think it's probably a combination of just hitting 10 years in a job that has no progress but pays well for what I do, some debts and my wife off on maternity and the whole lifestyle change that has come with having a baby in my life.

It doesn't helped that I realised when I return to work tomorrow i'll have a file note for my bradford factor score being too high due to 2 days I had off sick last December. This puts extra pressure on because it means if I need more time off with this issue in the next 12 months, i'll then face disciplinary, feels a little no win. Also as it's Q4 and really our busiest time of year, I feel that I "should" go back to work and try to get back to normal.

I've rambled again as I always do, thanks to anyone who's listening.
 
SixTwoSix said:
As someone else mentioned earlier in the thread, it's quite cathartic hearing others talk of their issues here. I've posted a few times in the last month, here's a brief update.

So, after 3 weeks and 2 days, I return to work tomorrow. Been on medication for 2 weeks, not really feeling any changes yet. Have pretty overwhelming anxiety today about going back, almost lost my appetite completely and if I think about it too much, start getting the verge of those panicky feelings again. I have a telephone referral interview for a counselling/therapy/CBT service on 16th, had to wait almost 5 weeks for that.

This time off has been amazing, feel like my 6 month old truly recognises me properly and responds so well to me now, only been seeing him an hour or two a day prior to this. Time with the wife has helped as well. A bunch of friends all got together to see me yesterday, that really made me feel cared for, told them all whats going on and they've been offering so much support. I still wake up every morning with a heavy weight and feels like a struggle to get out of bed, hits me hard before I fall asleep as well.

I still don't know what is really causing my anxiety/depression/panic...I think it's probably a combination of just hitting 10 years in a job that has no progress but pays well for what I do, some debts and my wife off on maternity and the whole lifestyle change that has come with having a baby in my life.

It doesn't helped that I realised when I return to work tomorrow i'll have a file note for my bradford factor score being too high due to 2 days I had off sick last December. This puts extra pressure on because it means if I need more time off with this issue in the next 12 months, i'll then face disciplinary, feels a little no win. Also as it's Q4 and really our busiest time of year, I feel that I "should" go back to work and try to get back to normal.

I've rambled again as I always do, thanks to anyone who's listening.
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Wow, this sounds so close to what I'm going through right now! (Other than a slightly older baby, he's nearly 2 so i guess not really a baby but still. :))

I've been hating work for a while now, took a promotion doing a boring non technical job but thought if i didn't it would look like i didn't want to get anywhere. Fast forward 2 years and I'm bored to tears and just want to leave. I'm late every day, struggle to get up, worry about going in etc etc. Couple that with me being the only bread winner while my wife looks after our son and i just feel trapped in this job. Its like i have to go because i have no choice as the bills wont get paid. We've also got our own little business we've started and i really enjoy that but know that it will never pay me the same money. :( Well unless it really took off, however its trying to get to the crossover of where the business pays more than the day job and this just isn't in sight.

Anyway, fast forward to last Thursday and I'm at work and feeling particularly terrible. My wife was driving by the office so stopped by to check on me. I went out to see her and just couldn't hold it in anymore and just started crying. At that point i literally just wanted to go home.. :( My wife used to work there so she decided to go in and talk to my boss, i didn't want her to at first but just gave in as she obviously wasn't going to. She goes and chats with him and he's really understanding about it. Says he can basically do what he likes with my job and what my responsibilities and calls me a numpty for not saying something sooner. I didn't say anything because i didn't want to look like a failure or that i couldn't do such a straightforward job. It makes no sense as i read it but its what has happened. Tomorrow I'm taking the day off/working from home to try and catch up as i haven't been in since Thursday and on Tuesday my boss is taking me out for a drink. I guess so we can talk away from the office and work out what we can do to make my work life happier again. I know he doesn't want to lose me and if I'm honest I'm not sure i want to start again somewhere else right now, not with the debt and other factors going on.

Its funny but writing all this stuff out helps, and if someone reading it can also relate to it and feel like they aren't alone like i did with SixTwoSix's post then all the better. :) Great thread guys.
 
I’m lucky enough to have been able to leave jobs when things became monotonous or boring, it would legitimately have driven me crazy if I’d continued in some of the roles I’ve had.

It seems a lot of mental health issues stem from work or it at least plays a big part in it, not surprising really if you hate what you do and you’re doing it 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Alas there’s never going to be enough roles that are truly stimulating when the vast majority of them have you sat in front of a screen for a silly amount of hours, even if the job itself is interesting enough it still takes its toll on you mentally and physically.

I’m in the process of changing to a career that will have me outdoors with regular site visits and I’m hoping it’ll change my outlook and mindset on working, as at the moment my thoughts are mostly negative ones towards it and that’s with the luxury of working from home but that has left me feeling very distant from colleagues and like I’m not really a part of the business.
 
KiNgPiN83 said:
Wow, this sounds so close to what I'm going through right now! (Other than a slightly older baby, he's nearly 2 so i guess not really a baby but still. :))

I've been hating work for a while now, took a promotion doing a boring non technical job but thought if i didn't it would look like i didn't want to get anywhere. Fast forward 2 years and I'm bored to tears and just want to leave. I'm late every day, struggle to get up, worry about going in etc etc. Couple that with me being the only bread winner while my wife looks after our son and i just feel trapped in this job. Its like i have to go because i have no choice as the bills wont get paid. We've also got our own little business we've started and i really enjoy that but know that it will never pay me the same money. :( Well unless it really took off, however its trying to get to the crossover of where the business pays more than the day job and this just isn't in sight.

Anyway, fast forward to last Thursday and I'm at work and feeling particularly terrible. My wife was driving by the office so stopped by to check on me. I went out to see her and just couldn't hold it in anymore and just started crying. At that point i literally just wanted to go home.. :( My wife used to work there so she decided to go in and talk to my boss, i didn't want her to at first but just gave in as she obviously wasn't going to. She goes and chats with him and he's really understanding about it. Says he can basically do what he likes with my job and what my responsibilities and calls me a numpty for not saying something sooner. I didn't say anything because i didn't want to look like a failure or that i couldn't do such a straightforward job. It makes no sense as i read it but its what has happened. Tomorrow I'm taking the day off/working from home to try and catch up as i haven't been in since Thursday and on Tuesday my boss is taking me out for a drink. I guess so we can talk away from the office and work out what we can do to make my work life happier again. I know he doesn't want to lose me and if I'm honest I'm not sure i want to start again somewhere else right now, not with the debt and other factors going on.

Its funny but writing all this stuff out helps, and if someone reading it can also relate to it and feel like they aren't alone like i did with SixTwoSix's post then all the better. :) Great thread guys.
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Glad my post helped a little.

My main advice for you would be take a week or two off, it has helped me massively. On the flipside, going back in today for 9AM, I feel just like I did before my time signed off sick. :(

Ayahuasca said:
I’m lucky enough to have been able to leave jobs when things became monotonous or boring, it would legitimately have driven me crazy if I’d continued in some of the roles I’ve had.
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My wife is happy to support me changing jobs when she starts back full time but that's in May next year, that's a long stretch with my current mindset.
 
I can relate with a lot of people in this thread. It's not nice when you feel alone. My motto which may be wrong is you get out what you put in.
I have put so much time and effort into people and got bugger all back. Now I seem to match their effort like for like, and they seem to have an issue with it saying things like "why are you quiet" blah blah blah erm, why are YOU quiet? I have got myself into going for long walks, which seems to get longer and longer these days. Sunday ended up being just over 12 miles lol. Quite nice actually and I did feel much better, but it doesn't last so I go for another walk a few days later. I've lost half a stone haha! People always post those "i'm always here for you" photos on social media, but the reality is they haven't got a clue. People can look and feel fine, but inside they are really down in the dumps. Then you get the age old "he's always fine" saying. Ummmm, maybe I'm not ALWAYS fine.

at least the people in this thread have something in common, so that's way better than being totally alone.
 
Went on a date Sunday after feeling better for 2 weeks, date went well and all good wanting to see each other again. Wake up Monday with the extreme anxiety brewing, no sleep last night, feeling of doom and terror today whilst I can't eat. No reason, just there and so depressing. Booked to go Finland Friday while I was feeling better and now I don't think I can do it.

Therapist thinks I have PTSD and I think I agree now. Seems to add up but I can't go on like this, been on and off for 3 months and it's ruining me. Sooner or later I'm going to have to take these meds.

Now I have to tell the date I'm a mentalist haha.
 
tomorrow is 2 weeks since I halved my daily intake of head meds, I now have to take 1 every other day for 2 weeks to finally come off them.

I'm not feeling great if I am honest. Restless, not sleeping well due to some crazy *** dreams, last night's dreams involved a very long one about having my car stolen and getting it back, then another where I was Santa and had spent ages prepping everything, getting the reindeer together and just as a crowd was gathering to see me fly off I woke up.

My mood has dropped, headaches, getting wound up and agitated much more easily. My BPD is still an issue, and I am fighting the urge to pack up and leave everything behind me, start over, which I really don't want to do, family means everything to me but it's like there's 2 me's in there, the one that loves the family and security, the other, wants to go out, start over.. fingers crossed this is a temp problem and after a few more weeks it'll all go back to normal.
 
Did the docs say whether that's a temporary side effect of reducing your meds?

Dreaming about being Santa is cool :D

I keep dreaming about living in a world where the Germans won and I'm watching a family in jail because they have been accused of being Jewish. I haven't even watched any of The Man in High Castle for ages
 
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