**The Mental Health Thread**
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I mean, I know I'm down the spectrum (probably further along than I realised though lol) and I just scored 124 and 37 in those tests.
Not sure what good an official diagnosis would do me now though, I'm mid 50's, been through all the turmoil already from teens - 30's and managed to come out the other side. I suppose I was lucky and able to bend the world to fit me, rather than try and make me fit the world, if that makes sense.
Not sure what good an official diagnosis would do me now though, I'm mid 50's, been through all the turmoil already from teens - 30's and managed to come out the other side. I suppose I was lucky and able to bend the world to fit me, rather than try and make me fit the world, if that makes sense.
We were told it was at least 2 years+ wait for my daughter. We went private and are now fighting the school system for suitable placements which is almost impossible. All the lovey dovey NHS adverts about mental health and help is available is tbh crap it’s an awful system of constant fighting and appealing every stupid decision. They rush people onto powerful drugs as talking therapy wait lists are so long causing more issues down the line.
The sheer stress involved in getting help is just as bad as the reason you reached out in the first place. It’s broken crap and useless when it comes to mental illness help..
Sorry bit of a rant there…..
The sheer stress involved in getting help is just as bad as the reason you reached out in the first place. It’s broken crap and useless when it comes to mental illness help..
Sorry bit of a rant there…..
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Caporegime
It's still massively misunderstood, even by experienced psychologists, because the spectrum is so broad. In my work now, I've done my best to support people who disclose it and we've seen some brilliant results from those who are managed in the right way with the right environment.
There are still some awful people who don't think it's a thing, though, and I've heard some disgusting comments. It's usually from people who are poor employees themselves and can't stand the idea of anyone getting additional support or allowances.
You can't just expect an autistic person to 'fit in' or fix it with exposure therapy, it doesn't work, they just mask heavily and eventually burn out. The employment rate even for those at the high functioning end is still poor.
Oh man don't get me started but I totally agree with you, it's a not fit for purpose system!We were told it was at least 2 years+ wait for my daughter. We went private and are now fighting the school system for suitable placements which is almost impossible. All the lovey dovey NHS adverts about mental health and help is available is tbh crap it’s an awful system of constant fighting and appealing every stupid decision. They rush people onto powerful drugs as talking therapy wait lists are so long causing more issues down the line.
The sheer stress involved in getting help is just as bad as the reason you reached out in the first place. It’s broken crap and useless when it comes to mental illness help..
Sorry bit of a rant there…..
I think I'm at the point of just excepting the way I am, I don't want anymore useless drugs!
Diazepam was the worst drug I have been given and has taken me 4 years to even get off it. It's always a case of "have this drug and shut up" regardless of the consequences!
Then when you get dependant they blame you! Then they still don't want to help. I had a conversation with my doctor that I wanted liquid diazepam to help me taper easier.
No you can't have that because it costs £70 a bottle and the pills are 24p each.
Don't get me started on stuff like mental health day, or stupid adverts that offer nothing! It amazes me when it's mental health week or whatever how many YouTubers suddenly have a mental health issue! Just for clicks.
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Soldato
@Spacedeck I'd like to reassure you that with the list of things you've explained, there is definitely something worth diagnosing/looking into. It is very clearly affecting you a lot and impacting your life, so I'd be surprised if nothing is found (neurodivergence or otherwise). You have made it to your 50s but you can still understand yourself better and make your life easier 
For those of you struggling with Anxiety, I've been through the mill of it the last year. A bit of a quick explanation what happened to me and what I've done and found to try and get over it, maybe something helps someone.
I've always been a worrier all my life and struggled with being very shy when young. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia around 10 years old which helped explain why I was struggling at school.
I went through the severe bullying at school as I was different, and tons of things in my life in the last 20 years which I would describe as just being a lot of ****. Some of which are quite severe shocks and just one may well have triggered something, let alone multiples of it.
Past forward to last year, I moved back to the UK after spending 8 years abroad. Two months after arriving back, one Saturday evening after an Indian take away and a few drinks with family I went off to bed. I couldn't sleep and had a racing heart, high temperature, felt sick, felt really worried about everything, felt like I was in an enclosed space etc. Gave it about an hour, called the NHS non emergency number and took myself off to A&E. 6 hrs of tests and talks and I was reassured nothing physical was wrong.. heart was running fast but no signs of issues, blood all good et etc. Put it down to a case of food poisioning.
A week later, the same thing happened again, on a Saturday again. Ended up a Sunday morning Doctors surgery at a local hospital. Again checked me over, said nothing seems seriously wrong but clearly I was having issue. He prescribed me a tiny dose of Beta Blockers (1.5mg). Told me to follow up with my Doctor.
Fast forward a few days, got an emergency appointment at my doctors. Never seen him before but he was brilliant. Basically my symptoms, what I'd been through were boilerplate high Anxiety and that what I was feeling was essentially my body being constantly in fight/ flight mode. He said to stay on the Beta blockers as long as I wanted.. they were certainly helping.
Same time I got in contact with NHS talking therapies. Again really good people. Had a 45 min call with someone after a week, and then went through an online CBT course over 2 months. Weekly follow up calls with someone. I can't remember my score when I started but lets say it was 3/4 of the way up the scale. I literally couldn't leave the house, couldn't exercise, couldn't sleep.. I was basically useless. Work was a struggle (Work from home), and I couldn't stay in my own house by myself.
Fast forward 4 months, much much better. Got off the beta blockers. Even managed to drive back to Germany and back again for a holiday, twice.
Come January, a relapse. No high heart rate but all the other crazy typical Anxiety symptoms.. tired all the time, chest muscle tightness, shoulders tight, couldn't excerise through fear, couldn't sleep in my own house alone, constant muscle twitches etc. So I paid myself to start seeing a Therapist. At the same time I was reading a book called Anxiety Rx by a Canadian Doctor called Russell Kennedy. A very different view towards Anxiety than a purely medical view. He also has a podcast on Spotify etc. This combined really started to help me a LOT. Knowing I'm not alone, that what I have isn't a real health issue, knowing the reasons why I feel the way I do, and a away to start to help myself feel and manage better. And not just feel better by thinking differently (which is what CBT really does) but actually getting to the route of the problem of why I have Anxiety and trying to really fix it.
Basically makes complete sense that as a person I could never express what I felt was wrong (personality I am), I bottled it all up.. for 35 years. And that bottle just got more and more full, you bury worry and stress in your body and there comes a point where you just can't absorb any more. It started when I was a kid and just continued into adulthood. My Doctor and Therapist both said (after just a few minutes of giving examples of some things that happened to me in my life) that just a few of those things would send a lot of people into a spin let alone all of it added up. We're all different and people deal with things in different ways. Some people can srugg even the most severe life experienced off, others like me and maybe some of you worry about every little detail of everything. I have to plan out every single possible way a scenario can go and think about every possible bad thing that could happen. It's exhausting, and severely limited what I could do in many life situations.
So that's the short highly abbreviated version. Still not back to normal today, but I sleep well at night, I'm not on meds, I can work a normal working day and my Anxiety symptoms are reduced to a few hours a day (still every day, but mainly only when I'm doing nothing like watching TV). So some way to go but at least hope of getting back to more normal life.
Hope that helps. Any questions feel free to ask.
I've always been a worrier all my life and struggled with being very shy when young. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia around 10 years old which helped explain why I was struggling at school.
I went through the severe bullying at school as I was different, and tons of things in my life in the last 20 years which I would describe as just being a lot of ****. Some of which are quite severe shocks and just one may well have triggered something, let alone multiples of it.
Past forward to last year, I moved back to the UK after spending 8 years abroad. Two months after arriving back, one Saturday evening after an Indian take away and a few drinks with family I went off to bed. I couldn't sleep and had a racing heart, high temperature, felt sick, felt really worried about everything, felt like I was in an enclosed space etc. Gave it about an hour, called the NHS non emergency number and took myself off to A&E. 6 hrs of tests and talks and I was reassured nothing physical was wrong.. heart was running fast but no signs of issues, blood all good et etc. Put it down to a case of food poisioning.
A week later, the same thing happened again, on a Saturday again. Ended up a Sunday morning Doctors surgery at a local hospital. Again checked me over, said nothing seems seriously wrong but clearly I was having issue. He prescribed me a tiny dose of Beta Blockers (1.5mg). Told me to follow up with my Doctor.
Fast forward a few days, got an emergency appointment at my doctors. Never seen him before but he was brilliant. Basically my symptoms, what I'd been through were boilerplate high Anxiety and that what I was feeling was essentially my body being constantly in fight/ flight mode. He said to stay on the Beta blockers as long as I wanted.. they were certainly helping.
Same time I got in contact with NHS talking therapies. Again really good people. Had a 45 min call with someone after a week, and then went through an online CBT course over 2 months. Weekly follow up calls with someone. I can't remember my score when I started but lets say it was 3/4 of the way up the scale. I literally couldn't leave the house, couldn't exercise, couldn't sleep.. I was basically useless. Work was a struggle (Work from home), and I couldn't stay in my own house by myself.
Fast forward 4 months, much much better. Got off the beta blockers. Even managed to drive back to Germany and back again for a holiday, twice.
Come January, a relapse. No high heart rate but all the other crazy typical Anxiety symptoms.. tired all the time, chest muscle tightness, shoulders tight, couldn't excerise through fear, couldn't sleep in my own house alone, constant muscle twitches etc. So I paid myself to start seeing a Therapist. At the same time I was reading a book called Anxiety Rx by a Canadian Doctor called Russell Kennedy. A very different view towards Anxiety than a purely medical view. He also has a podcast on Spotify etc. This combined really started to help me a LOT. Knowing I'm not alone, that what I have isn't a real health issue, knowing the reasons why I feel the way I do, and a away to start to help myself feel and manage better. And not just feel better by thinking differently (which is what CBT really does) but actually getting to the route of the problem of why I have Anxiety and trying to really fix it.
Basically makes complete sense that as a person I could never express what I felt was wrong (personality I am), I bottled it all up.. for 35 years. And that bottle just got more and more full, you bury worry and stress in your body and there comes a point where you just can't absorb any more. It started when I was a kid and just continued into adulthood. My Doctor and Therapist both said (after just a few minutes of giving examples of some things that happened to me in my life) that just a few of those things would send a lot of people into a spin let alone all of it added up. We're all different and people deal with things in different ways. Some people can srugg even the most severe life experienced off, others like me and maybe some of you worry about every little detail of everything. I have to plan out every single possible way a scenario can go and think about every possible bad thing that could happen. It's exhausting, and severely limited what I could do in many life situations.
So that's the short highly abbreviated version. Still not back to normal today, but I sleep well at night, I'm not on meds, I can work a normal working day and my Anxiety symptoms are reduced to a few hours a day (still every day, but mainly only when I'm doing nothing like watching TV). So some way to go but at least hope of getting back to more normal life.
Hope that helps. Any questions feel free to ask.
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Soldato
I keep looking into it but I have a D&D game on Monday's right now. One day soon.
Soldato
I feel like a fruad in here and I haven't even been diagnosed. I read all of @redeye post and they show some pretty serious issues with health and anxiety, yet I fail to feel that.
Why did I break down at the Jobcentre and then my partner speaking of the same subject? I don't know but I'm convincing myself it can't be anything that serious.
Most of what I've physically felt can be probably said to be fairly normal for them situations.
I'm convinced at the appointment, I'll display no signs and walk out none the wiser. I can go, display nothing and make things seem made up in my head and part of me is just being pathetic and get on with it. I can't predict when or if I'll ever experience them until I'm put in a certain situation, which is making this fairly difficult to see through.
Why did I break down at the Jobcentre and then my partner speaking of the same subject? I don't know but I'm convincing myself it can't be anything that serious.
Most of what I've physically felt can be probably said to be fairly normal for them situations.
I'm convinced at the appointment, I'll display no signs and walk out none the wiser. I can go, display nothing and make things seem made up in my head and part of me is just being pathetic and get on with it. I can't predict when or if I'll ever experience them until I'm put in a certain situation, which is making this fairly difficult to see through.
Caporegime
Well, you could go and display what you think is going on. The people you speak to, it won't be their first rodeo; they have some experience. You should use that to help you even if it's just to get a conversation going.
Associate
Ive always thought i had some form of Autism, but the way i see it is even if i get diagnosed as Autistic, nothing will change. Just took that RAAD-S test and scored 130 with my highest score being with social interactions.
That's fine though. Don't pressure yourself.
You have to tell people what you HAVE felt, not just how you feel at any one point.
What I have is health Anxiety and generalised Anxiety.. if gives you obvious symptoms and it's all explainable (despite being incredibly hard for me to get my head around how the symptoms aren't something worse than my nervous system being out of step with the rest of me). Doesn't mean you have the same thing, doesn't mean what you have is as easy to understand I'm afraid. I can be fine for hours and hours, and then completely seemingly out of the blue I'll be literally feeling like I have to lie down and the world is pushing down on me. It can happen in seconds. Other days I can have no symptoms but just can't face leaving the house for seemingly no real reason, other than a deep down feeling. The brain is a clever thing, but it's also very stupid in many ways.
Anxiety affects people in different ways and manifests itself in difference ways. Of course you may not have it. but that's what any professional you speak to should be digging to find out. What it is that you are struggling with.
Take the tests, have the conversations and be honest with them and yourself. But most of all take it easy.
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Caporegime
Sounds like you’ve potentially been masking for years and if you are autistic, one of the most common traits is struggling to communicate how you truly feel to others. Emotional dysregulation.
The reason it may be coming to a head in recent months could be burnout from years of masking.
Your score on the RAADS-R test was very high, way outside the range for it just being social anxiety etc.
A diagnosis isn’t for everyone but it can be worthwhile having it there in case it eventually starts impacting your employment.
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Soldato
So I finally got to see a Psychologist after waiting a few years about my anxiety and stress that started randomly a few years ago. I got paired with the lead for the area who is a criminal psychologist and after a good few sessions it turns out I'm Autistic. We then spent several sessions doing lots of questions and then she interviewed my parents because of a trauma I cant remember anything before 15. My masking scores and the main one are really high about 3 times the threshold she said. It's been quite an eye opener to be honest and certainly made me re-evaluate a lot of big life choices and why I have always felt the way I have. Like many I always put on a persona for whatever it may be such at work I'm always happy to help courteous and talkative and everyone likes that and thinks highly of me but this has got harder and harder to do the older I got and eventually had a breakdown and couldn't do it anymore like I had no energy. Life always felt like a giant show where going to events or visiting people or work or anything required an act of who I had to be in that instant. I guess my ramble is just to get it down as its all still raw and new to me but it has certainly made sense of the last 22 years of my adult life.
Soldato
Really relate to this. I'm 36 and was diagnosed ADHD around 33. Currently wondering if I should look into autism diagnosis as well. But what's so weird for me is I just don't feel like this was an issue in my youth. Somewhere in my mid 20s I started feeling anxious and like I was running out of energy. And I sort of never bounced back? Always upbeat and friendly but it's incredibly draining and I can't find any motivation or energy outside of those situations where I'm needed e.g. work.
Currently on a day off, and have next week off, and hopefully I will recover a bit. Work has been so stressful and so overloaded for 6+ months. We have a big project delivery on and it's just too much - I do tell my boss often but he tries to coach me and skill me up in my management abilities... I don't think he understands that it is just too much for me to handle, full stop.
Soldato
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Complete change of subject but I am really struggling this week. Since my ex ended our relationship in November I have been in pieces but I've been trying my best to get on with life and move forwards, I've reached out to friends, joined MeetUp and been to various things to try to make some friends, and I've pushed myself to go out dancing which is something I used to do a lot pre covid times. But his last week or so I've really been having a hard time. The people I had reached out to, who were really supportive in December and January haven't been in contact at all, and I don't feel like I can keep contacting them every time I feel I need human connection because I know they have their own lives and who wants a friend who is constantly in need? So it's been a pretty lonely time.
Then this week it was my ex's birthday and that has really thrown me into a spin and stirred up so much emotion and sadness and I have no one to talk to about it except my parents, who I love to bits, but they are of the generation where you just push emotions aside and get on with practical things and forget about everything else and I just can't do that. My counsellor is sadly away at the moment and not contactable so I can't even book in a session to talk it through with her and I'm just feeling incredibly lonely and sad; and in truth I'm very afraid that old feelings of pointlessness are starting to creep into my thoughts and while I truthfully know I would never 'do anything stupid' because I could never do something that would hurt my son so badly, it's a scary and upsetting to sit with that kind of thinking circling in the back of my mind.
I'm supposed to be going out to a MeetUp at a pub quiz this evening, and I really don't feel like it but I am going to make myself go so I can get some time away from being trapped in my own thoughts but I just wanted to get it out and this felt like the only place I have right now.
Then this week it was my ex's birthday and that has really thrown me into a spin and stirred up so much emotion and sadness and I have no one to talk to about it except my parents, who I love to bits, but they are of the generation where you just push emotions aside and get on with practical things and forget about everything else and I just can't do that. My counsellor is sadly away at the moment and not contactable so I can't even book in a session to talk it through with her and I'm just feeling incredibly lonely and sad; and in truth I'm very afraid that old feelings of pointlessness are starting to creep into my thoughts and while I truthfully know I would never 'do anything stupid' because I could never do something that would hurt my son so badly, it's a scary and upsetting to sit with that kind of thinking circling in the back of my mind.
I'm supposed to be going out to a MeetUp at a pub quiz this evening, and I really don't feel like it but I am going to make myself go so I can get some time away from being trapped in my own thoughts but I just wanted to get it out and this felt like the only place I have right now.
Do anything you can to ease the suffering, be it talking to friends, family, in here, whatever. Just this week someone I worked with posted a picture on his FB looking up at a branch with a bedsheet tied around it saying he nearly did it but was going back for round two. Police were called but were too late. It was a horrible thing to see and also quite bizarre as I rarely ever use FB and yet I did on that day.
Soldato
Today I ‘did a thing’. Had to go to city of London from Southampton which was car plus train plus underground. It was a planning presentation which I was nervous for in the first place but as someone who is a bit agorophobia-y these days the crowded train and underground was hell. Not to mention the genuine health concerns (I had pulmonary embolisms in the autumn) that I was unreasonable worrying about. I could feel the anxiety bubbling in my stomach the whole time and was close to panicking a couple of times. But the presentation was done the client was pretty pleased and i am on the way home now feeling much more calm. My boss is good and I wasn’t forced to go, there was a Teams option but it was a challenge for me. I’m glad I did it but next time I’ll probably do teams lol