Loneliness is such a trigger for me, I've been trying in therapy to work out quite why it is but it holds so much over me. So many feelings of worthlessness and isolation, feeling like no one values me or cares about me; a complete lack of being important to anyone.
I know it's not true, my parents care in their own completely practical way, my son cares greatly but he's 12 and trying to find his way the world so naturally I'm not a priority (and neither should I be) but them aside there is no one who I feel cares, no one who checks in to see how I'm doing, no one who is thinking of me. I really loved that when I was with me ex, she was thinking of me and knew it and I felt loved and cared for. Now I feel like if I ceased to exist, besides my family, no one would even notice, and I find that so hard.
I've got a couple of things I want to do today (including writing a proposal for a men's mental health cafe I want to set up with the counselling agency I have a placement at) and I'm going to a MeetUp for cocktails anf karaoke this evening (which I'm a tad anxious about as I will only know 1 maybe two people who are going) so I know it'll be ok today but I just can't shake that feeling of loneliness.
I also started talking to someone online trying to find some to connect with and just feel incredibly guilty because I still love and miss my ex so much.