**The Mental Health Thread**

I'm not sure if it's depression, but things aren't right with me at the moment. Finding I'm having more bad days than good - today is a bad one. My relationship isn't in the best place at the mo - been together 16 years, married 10 but feel like we are slipping apart. My father hung himself 5 years ago and I find myself thinking he had the right idea. I think if it weren't for my 2 kids, and knowing the effects it would have on them, then I would have taken those thoughts further. Work is pretty stressful, I'm a problem and major incident manager so it's a very up and down role - periods of quiet then periods of high stress.

I'm sat in the office welling up writing this.
 
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Ayahuasca said:
I can't speak for everyone but it's when it comes to the point you have these feelings even when things are going well, you can wake up one day, not have anything to worry or be stressed about but still feel hopeless and a sense of pointlessness to it all. Apart from some extreme cases I don't think there's a sure-fire way to tell if someone is actually depressed or whether elements of their life are causing those feelings, lack of employment for example could cause similar feelings but chemically you might not actually be depressed.
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I remember when i was around 12 i started to think that everything in life is ulitimately pointless so why bother. Those feelings are still with me but i still went to uni and have a reasonable job. I still enjoy things but ultimately i know its all futile in the end.
 
A[L]C said:
I'm not sure if it's depression, but things aren't right with me at the moment. Finding I'm having more bad days than good - today is a bad one. My relationship isn't in the best place at the mo - been together 16 years, married 10 but feel like we are slipping apart. My father hung himself when I was 18 and I find myself thinking he had the right idea. I think if it weren't for my 2 kids, and knowing the effects it would have on them, then I would have taken those thoughts further. Work is pretty stressful, I'm a problem and major incident manager so it's a very up and down role - periods of quiet then periods of high stress.

I'm sat in the office welling up writing this.
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First, speak to your manager and explain what's going on. Any decent human being will understand. It sounds like you need a week off to figure out what you need out of life. Make a doctor's appointment, or perhaps a private counsellor. Just someone to talk to. Maybe a life coach.

You may find that your relationship is suffering because of how you're feeling (I don't like to label anything), so just put it to the back of your mind for now and you may find it sorts itself.

Speak to whoever you trust not to judge your situation.

But definitely speak to someone, don't leave it
 
A[L]C said:
I'm not sure if it's depression, but things aren't right with me at the moment. Finding I'm having more bad days than good - today is a bad one. My relationship isn't in the best place at the mo - been together 16 years, married 10 but feel like we are slipping apart. My father hung himself when I was 18 and I find myself thinking he had the right idea. I think if it weren't for my 2 kids, and knowing the effects it would have on them, then I would have taken those thoughts further. Work is pretty stressful, I'm a problem and major incident manager so it's a very up and down role - periods of quiet then periods of high stress.

I'm sat in the office welling up writing this.
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365 days of self care , you have a responsibility to yourself first, think of the things that are making you worried and try to remove them or pigeon hole them.

Discussion is a very good thing, helps you realise what is going on in your head is not normal, happens to lots of others and is just a characteristic you have to deal with.
The sooner you can recognise this the better, it won't stop the thoughts but it helps you to ring fence them.
 
Mental illness is no joke. I tried to have a relationship with a girl that suffered massive panic attacks, had incredible anxieties and was generally very ill indeed. She would constantly lie , make up stories and even made up stories about how she was moving to another house and even tried to lie about being pregnant - it was all attention seeking, and she was in a very bad shape. I did try to help her, but the more I tried the more she felt I was abusing her, and eventually I just had to leave her.

She couldn't at one point even leave her flat to go and buy basic food, she would use online shopping , but had fears the food was contaminated by the delivery driver and wouldn't eat it. She had fears about textures in her mouth and literally would starve until I would turn up with cheese and white bread for a cheese sandwich. I had to eat the bread and cheese first before she would touch it.

I have a daughter and other stuff in my life, so I tried to advise she got professional help and seek a carer, this made the situation even worse, When I met her via POF she had essentially lied about all of this and kept most of it secret, but as we saw more of each other the issues started to show. I didn't hate her or leave her for not being upfront , after all, its not something you want to add to an online profile I guess, but in the end it was too much for me. Even her own family had pretty much disowned her. I could see why she was in such a state. A few times she'd called the police on my claiming I'd abused her, it took a lot of talking and proof of messages and recorded phone calls to show the police just how unstable she was. Turns out, the police have a record of her for past issues such as what I was having, and after this I just had to leave her.

I still to this day get messages from her asking for help - but I can't. Her illness and mental state was no joke. It was very sad to see such a pretty and smart girl suffer so badly, she had to lie to men to get things done, and couldn't even most of the time do the simple things in life due to anxieties. She couldn't even shower as she was scared the water would drown her.

I feel maybe I should have tried with her, but she accused me of cheating, being a lier and even made up stories to my daughters mum - which didn't go down well and caused a lot of issues. And after the police calls, I had to go, so mental illness is a serious problem when you see it first hand.
 
I was diagnosed with Panic disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder around 2001, first few years I would have panic attacks back to back all day every day, had trouble leaving the house quite often and couldn't go certain places like going to Town shopping at all. Went through tonnes of different meds/therapies/treatment to start with, eventually found the right one/mix. I tried to come off the meds a few years ago but it wasn't the right time, I keep considering it more and more but sometimes I feel the negatives are worth it for the quality of life they are giving me.

Fast forward to now and I would consider myself in full control, haven't had barely any symptoms at all for ages...until recently. I learnt I have to go to London for a course, it is something I have wanted for ages, but it wasn't until I knew I were finally going that I realized I am still quite ill. Anxiety hit me hard! I am still going, I know I can do it, but I have massively overthought it all. I have worked it through in my head mostly, but just have one or two things I am worrying about to deal with. The two things left are quite funny and they are quite trivial and a little embarrassing. I am worried about needing the loo (number 2) while on the 2 hour train journey or whilst attending the course and I am also worried about the Victoria to Oxford circus Underground ride during rush hour (have to be there for 930 and leave my hometown at 7 so cant travel outside of rush hour). Not looking forward to those crowds at all! :(

One thing I have learned over all this time is that the more experience you get with it, the better you become at dealing with it. So keep going guys :)

EDITED for a little grammar
 
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good to see this thread, hope people can get some good advice from it
my advice is to educate yourself, read books on the subject, then read another book, then another
if you get one or two good pieces of advice from each then thats an achievement, it all helps
it takes time, but with understanding you can start to tackle the complex world of the mind
you are not a crazy person, the chemicals have just gone crazy :)
 
I've battled depression in the past and spent a few years medicated, eventually made enough changes in my life that I was able to get off the medication and for a while I was able to conquer things.

Things haven't been going so great for me recently, feels like I'm fighting the same battle again, certainly having more bad days than good at the moment. On the plus side I'm seeing a therapist, working to conquer my issues, and to like the person that I see in the mirror again.

For anybody else in the struggle, you're not alone, hopefully this thread will provide help and support for us all.
 
CircleFaust said:
good to see this thread, hope people can get some good advice from it
my advice is to educate yourself, read books on the subject, then read another book, then another
if you get one or two good pieces of advice from each then thats an achievement, it all helps
it takes time, but with understanding you can start to tackle the complex world of the mind
you are not a crazy person, the chemicals have just gone crazy :)
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Yes, couldn't agree more. Educating yourself is in my opinion more important than the meds, you need to understand why you feel like you do before you can deal with it.
I found also, that talking to others with the same condition really helps. I joined a chat room and met with others and could talk to them when I felt really bad and they could help you through it. Returning the favour had its benefits too as you could see it from the other side so to speak.
 
I have Aspergers and suffer from horrific panic attacks and depression. Been this way with the anxiety for about 15 years.
On a ton of meds for it and had another set of pills added last week which are making me feel like hell.

One day I will beat this.
 
Rilot said:
I have Aspergers and suffer from horrific panic attacks and depression. Been this way with the anxiety for about 15 years.
On a ton of meds for it and had another set of pills added last week which are making me feel like hell.

One day I will beat this.
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Ok time to also admit - I'm diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome, but I've always gone about my life as to try and not let it stop me doing what I feel I can do. But it has left me in some really bad states at times when I've lost friends and relationships due to them thinking I'm very eccentric or just downright rude. I've been at times driven to consume excessive amounts of alcohol, something I battle with greatly. Once I start to drink I never know when to stop until I eventually pass out. I've also not been the warmest of folks, and I too suffer a certain degree of anxiety and I've also got myself into a lot of unnecessary fights between friends and family - and my OCD is terrible. I have a compulsion to check doors, locks and Windows 2 - 3 times over before I'm satisfied they are locked or closed. Drives anyone i've attempted to live with totally nuts.

But its just how I am and no medication I've ever had or tried to keep up with has ever really helped with any my compulsive behaviour or lack of social awareness. I have however managed to get decent jobs, and a good level of education and I'm solvent so I'm coping pretty well, and I have a 6 year old daughter so I don't really consider myself in any need other then I do need to try and keep friends. Mostly given up in relationships now. Way too many failed attempts and at 44 and 10 or so failed gf's time to call it a day me thinks.

However Asperger's being in the autism spectrum its itself a challenge for some. I consider myself fairly lucky as I've managed to work around a lot of my issues. But I do have strange ways comparable to others.
 
Rids said:
I've battled depression in the past and spent a few years medicated, eventually made enough changes in my life that I was able to get off the medication and for a while I was able to conquer things.

Things haven't been going so great for me recently, feels like I'm fighting the same battle again, certainly having more bad days than good at the moment. On the plus side I'm seeing a therapist, working to conquer my issues, and to like the person that I see in the mirror again.

For anybody else in the struggle, you're not alone, hopefully this thread will provide help and support for us all.
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I hope it does, it saddens me to see so many others suffering.

Before I was diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and mild OCD, I felt 'different'. Today I still battle the daily struggles and if anyone was to ask how I consider myself, it would be a manic depressive.
Some days I feel high as the sky, can do anything, have pools of motivation and help others do the same thing. Other days I feel lie the world is caving in, things are black and all I can do is wait for the impending end.

My most recent 'issue' is that I recently got a new iPhone 7 Plus, great right? Well, yeah, until i'm constantly checking it for minor imperfections, making sure it isn't bent by laying it on flat surfaces etc... Now I seriously want to enjoy it, but there is always that niggling thought in the back on my head about something going wrong. Sounds pathetic I know. Of course, every time I check something all is well, but if I don't do it, I can feel myself going mad! Personally, I feel a lot more down as of recent namely because of a failed Navy Application. It is something I have always wanted to do, since around 5 years old. But because of my medical history I have been rejected on a permanent basis which at the time I thought I handled well. But now I seem to just get up, work, sleep. Rinse and repeat, there is no sparkle anymore. Even riding my motorcycle does't stimulate me anymore, and I love riding.

I guess it is a feeling of hopelessness deep inside, it has gotten to the point that I don't even know why I feel like this. Yet, if anyone asks me if i'm ok, of course I am, even though i'm creaming inside. My family don't really understand, so can't really approach them over it. The problem is, since stopping my medication for all of the above 3 years ago, and being able to manage it myself fairly well, since the recent events I feel back at square one. Thankfully, without the cutting or anything like that. But it is the constant thoughts of things going wrong, and things triggering the thoughts. I want to progress forwards, even after failing my biggest dream, but I don't really know how.
I would like to begin moving into cyber security, but feel that i'm not good enough, and can't do it. See, I have never been a defeatist but all of a sudden I appear to be.

If I could talk to some friends about it, but I don't really have any. Over the years I have pushed everyone away so basically am alone because of my inability to talk about it.

Apologies for the massive wall, maybe i'll feel better with it out in the open.
 
Want to give lots of people in this thread a hug :(

I don't want to claim I'm depressed, having lived with family who suffer with genuine depression/mental illness all my life, I know not to throw that term around loosely. However, I've always questioned how long it will be. Everyone in my immediate family has suffered with depression or some form of mental illness, so I've often felt when I'm low that surely it's just a matter of time before I succumb to it. Even my doctor who treats a couple of my other family members, is just waiting for me to go and say the magic words to him, I can almost see it in his eyes when I walk through the door that he expects that I'm going for that reason. But sometimes I genuinely think I am, I go through days of just wanting to sit in my chair in my office and watch the day go by, no motivation to do anything, and lately even my keenest of hobbies have suffered. Cycling I can barely muster up the motivation to do it, even though it's purely indoor training at the moment.

I think it all stems back to my relationship, which I've discussed on here a few times, being absolutely terrible. I know I'm throwing my life away by staying with her, but I still can't bring myself to walk away because of my 3 year old son. Seeing him every day and what a happy little boy he is, especially because he's so clingy with me lately, just makes life worth living. So I stay for him, but I know when I'm older, I'm going to regret these years and see them as years wasted. I know I need to sort it for my own sake, but it's so much easiser said that done

Stay strong everyone!
 
I was sectioned in 1988 at the age of 30 and since then I've had suicidal tendencies.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about ending it all and being a cyclist it would be really easy. I always come to my senses and think about what my family would go through.
Since September 1988 I hadn't had one day off work until about 3 months ago when I had a nervous breakdown at work and I ended up having two weeks off :(
My wife lives in constant fear that one day she will get a phone call saying I'm on a slab but I've promised her that won't happen unless it's genuine.
I'm sitting here now thinking what's the point but I've had a very interesting life and many people on here have read my Uncle Albert stories and I can guarantee every word is true.
Against my GPs orders I refuse to take pills for it and just take each day as it comes. The good thing is that if I ring up the Doctors for as much as a sniffle they get me in straight away because I must be on a suicide list or something.
 
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This is a good idea for a thread. I've mentioned before here that I work in the field of mental health / psychology etc.

Please be mindful that your stories, while important and sincere, may trigger negative feelings in others. Could we try and keep messages framed in as positive a way as possible? I recognise that it's tough, but there is always hope.

For some talk therapy works, for others meds, for some both - some don't need anything. It's is not a failure to take medication - in any way.
 
Skeptic said:
Please be mindful that your stories, while important and sincere, may trigger negative feelings in others. Could we try and keep messages framed in as positive a way as possible? I recognise that it's tough, but there is always hope.
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Part of my struggle is that I don't think there is hope.

"There's always hope"... just rings so hollow and false.

Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear. But sometimes you have to find a coping strategy that doesn't revolve around the fluffy, happy concept of "hope". Sometimes you have to find a way to keep going without hope. To make peace with the way things are, and not expect anything to get better.
 
I respectfully disagree. A sense of hopelessness I understand - but the reality of there being no hope suggests that all treatment options have been exhausted which from experience is vanishingly rare.

I see from your post before that you'll 'never take meds'. I respect your position but you must see the contradiction? This isn't meant to antagonize, genuinely interested in your perspective!
 
linktoinsanity said:
Good idea for a thread. I would have thought it would have been classed as a medical thread and closed, but glad reading it is not and I hope plenty of people can get help from it.
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bit different to a medical thread - this is more like the Crohn's thread where people can talk about their experiences and/or offer support, I think so long as people aren't offering amateur diagnosis to people or recommending medical treatments etc.. then it would seem to be within the rules


and on that note - for another non-medical suggestion (hopefully this is allowed)

this stuff can help take the edge off a bit if you're feeling anxious:

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I used to drink loads of tea at work which prob didn't help things at all... now limit myself to very few proper cups of tea in a day (mostly just in the morning) and switch camomile tea during the day and/or decaff in the evening.

MrRockliffe said:
Is headspace worth the investment?
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I guess it depends on you and whether you get on with the whole guided meditation thing... you can try out the free stuff at least and see what you think. There are no doubt other free alternative things on youtube etc.. too :)
 
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