**The Mental Health Thread**

Oh mate. I know you've had a long long struggle with all this. And you've kept your chin up and kept moving through all of it! You really have continued to look for the positive path all the way and not given up.

It's very understandable to feel low. The situation is ******** really. But you've also come this far without walking away. At least give yourself credit for that.

I hate this time of year too. Christmas is the worst with family demands, days getting shorter and always too much to do. For me it starts in September when the seasons change and I have my birthday. Always makes me conscious of change and things ending and growing old.

I'm a complete storm of emotions right now, but for some reason it's staying below the surface. On the surface I'm just disinterested and empty, trying to pass the time. Eventually I'll either break down or just swallow it and carry on being dissatisfied with life. Til the next time.
 
@LuckyBenski, thank you for the kind words pal. It has been going on a very long time, I've been dealing with that psychopaths nonsense since I met her 15 years ago now and have just simply had enough. I'm not prepared to go through it any longer, both my physical and mental health have been severely impacted by it all. It's cost me thousands of pounds, friendships, relationships, career and education opportunities my own self-worth and almost cost me my life more than once. It's time to draw a line under it now and what better time than the end of 2020 with I suppose the start of a new decade.

Walking away from my son is a done deal for me now, oddly I don't even feel any guilt over it. I can hold my head up high and say I have done absolutely everything humanly possible to be a good dad and stay in his life. This latest accusation is his choice and my decision is a direct consequence of that, not a punishment, this is self-preservation and anyone who knows me and the situation understands why I've come to this conclusion. After the last time I knew this was what I would have to do if it happened again. I'm not going to risk losing my Fiancée or youngest daughter who does live with me again. I've already had to suffer the humiliation of having to be supervised around my youngest because of an accusation from my son. Never again!

I refuse to tar my eldest daughter with the same brush though, she's at least done everything she can to remove herself from the situation. But if she comes out with something on her mothers say, so I'll have to do the same thing even though I really don't want to. It's odd I don't feel guilty about my son, but walking away from her even for the same reasons is going to hurt.


I am genuinely sorry though to see you're having such a hard time of it though mate, if you ever need to talk privately just drop me a message.
 
@Vidar wow that is rough, very sorry to hear of that.

The situation sounds very tragic indeed. I have some family tragedy in my life too (not involving children but it is immediate family) that causes some dread and stress from time to time, so whilst it's not as bad as that I can completely understand the sort of frustration and helplessness you might be feeling. It is utterly heartbreaking when people you care for lie or make terrible decisions at the expense of others that love them, I certainly have felt that sting before!

You have actually covered what I was going to say in your second post - you can only do what you can do. Once you have given it your all, perhaps the next thing to do (and it's just an idea being thrown out there, not an obvious solution) might be to try letting go a bit. Trying to play a game of 'crazy' with a bunch of 'crazies' whilst you play in 'sane mode' is an un-winnable battle. But the path of "I'm not playing this game any more - I need to look out for myself and leave these people behind" may well be a path worth considering.

I've taken that path myself. It really hurts, but it can be the least worst option.

Best wishes buddy.
 
Nitefly said:
@Vidar wow that is rough, very sorry to hear of that.

The situation sounds very tragic indeed. I have some family tragedy in my life too (not involving children but it is immediate family) that causes some dread and stress from time to time, so whilst it's not as bad as that I can completely understand the sort of frustration and helplessness you might be feeling. It is utterly heartbreaking when people you care for lie or make terrible decisions at the expense of others that love them, I certainly have felt that sting before!

You have actually covered what I was going to say in your second post - you can only do what you can do. Once you have given it your all, perhaps the next thing to do (and it's just an idea being thrown out there, not an obvious solution) might be to try letting go a bit. Trying to play a game of 'crazy' with a bunch of 'crazies' whilst you play in 'sane mode' is an un-winnable battle. But the path of "I'm not playing this game any more - I need to look out for myself and leave these people behind" may well be a path worth considering.

I've taken that path myself. It really hurts, but it can be the least worst option.

Best wishes buddy.
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Thank you pal, I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties also.

You've hit the nail on the head for me though it is a case of letting go and not playing the game any more. The sad truth is the ex seems to live for this, it's like it's her sole reason to exist. And I can guarantee that walking away from the situation will result in her then trying to force my spending time with them. It's just all about conflict for her, she's never been able to accept that it was me who left her and not the other way around and that unlike her Father who went through very similar circumstances I've kept fighting up until now.

That's why if this goes the way I think it will I'll need to make some big changes. Change where I live, change my number, change my social media etc. It's the only way to escape her and her ****.
 
Struggling here lately, just swapped my antidepressants as I was sleeping all day. Anxiety through the roof right now, mega depressed. My benzo addiction isn't helping, wish I never started the dam stuff. Got into a fair amount of debt as my OCD comes out as a spending impulsion. Fed up with bloody pills.
 
I've suffered on and off since I was 18. I'm now 46, but the last 5 months of my life have been hell on earth for me and my family. I've changed medication which has definitely helped thankfully, but it has been a long road. There isn't much light at the end of the tunnel unfortunately.

I caught covid 19 back at the end of march and was ill for 16 weeks. I'm also diabetic, which didn't help. I was close to hospital twice with breathing difficulties but managed it myself. I made an eventual recovery but then depression with a dose of anxiety kicked in. I've never suffered anxiety so it was a shock. It's been awful, having mild panic attacks with depressive episodes thrown in for good measure. I've been at my lowest ebb for some time and It's utterly exhausting. I have so much sympathy for anybody that suffers.
 
Needed to somewhere to vent about some stuff at the moment.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, back in spring. Since then, she's had surgery and has just finished a course of radiotherapy. It was tough given the circumstances but we've all maintained a really good attitude towards it.

However, I've been going to see her every 6 weeks or so to help out with any tasks she can't carry out and to catch up to see how she's doing.

I last visited her the weekend just gone, and stayed at a Travelodge on Saturday night.

I found out last evening that one of my housemates went on a date last week, on Wednesday, slept with her and she's now tested positive for COVID.

I've already been for a COVID test, and so has he - results due in tomorrow.

My stress comes from the fact I may have given this to my mother at the weekend - having just gone through radiotherapy, she's extremely immunodeficient. Furthermore, the other people in the house are still going to work, even after having a conversation about how it's incredibly irresponsible. I also still work in an office - of course, since I found out, I immediately notified everyone I'd work from home (I'd been working in the office as I'm new to my job).

What bugs me the most though is the person didn't tell me his date had covid until I'd just given him a lift to Tesco in my car :mad:


Am I overreacting to this?

I've dealt with parties, people coming over etc during lockdown, but if my mum ends up with COVID I don't know how I'll react.
 
Firstly sorry, that does sound stressful. I'm the nearest to my mum but I've seen her twice this year as she's got terrible asthma so high risk.
MrRockliffe said:
What bugs me the most though is the person didn't tell me his date had covid until I'd just given him a lift to Tesco in my car :mad:


Am I overreacting to this?
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Nope, ignoring everything else in your message, this is a **** move. Completely assaulted your sense of personal safety.

The parties and visitors sounds enough to put him in his place, that's not on (parties certainly). I'd be ready to scream already.

House sharing is ********. Sadly.
 
LuckyBenski said:
Ah rubbish, sorry mate :(

Does this have a big impact on your Christmas?
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It does but while at first I was a bit annoyed, I feel good knowing I'm not spreading it to family :-)

I was due to see my mum on xmas day and cook as she's a bit out of it but I'd rather her not be able to cook than the alternative!!

Unfortunately my (live in) landlady still went to work... Can't help stupid.
 
ADHD literally destroying my life and future right now.

Long days sat in front of a screen, late nights minimal sleep.
Telling myself I’m going to a start in a minute, minutes turn into hours...
Another wasted day.

Avoiding socialising to be productive.

Not even been able to do Christmas shopping because I’m so fixated on completing this thing but still not made any progress over the last week or two.

Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy I just hope in 2021 I finally develop ways to manage it.

I go through this same cycle every year and no matter how hard I try to do things different I get back to square one.

Just wish I got diagnosed about 10 years ago things would be a lot better.

My executive function is non existent

Hope you guys have a great Christmas if you celebrate it or a peaceful holiday period
 
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ADHD is hellish when it's like that. I had a friend at school who was incredibly intelligent but he couldn't focus on anything for longer than a few minutes. He started taking Ritalin and it only made things worse as it changed his personality (became super irritable, agitated and constantly on edge) and he soon went off the rails, not spoken to him for years but I hope he's doing okay.
 
Psymonkee said:
Started anti-depressants over the summer but still steadily got worse culminating in increasingly common feelings of paranoia and the like. Finally snapped and couldn't take it anymore at work and went home sick.

Currently at a loss and trying to work out what's wrong with me. So many things is the answer :/
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perhaps a small dose of pills, you definitely need a consultation - the doctor will tell you, he can replace the pills with others. often you need to work on your thoughts. to understand the pattern of your behavior - that is, how panics arise, in what situations, etc., The only conclusion that I made in this thread is that we ourselves must understand ourselves! but a doctor can help yourself and give a guide to action) And also just try to distract yourself - try to do your favorite things, try something new, if it is comfortable, communicate with positive people!))
 
Having COVID is taking its toll on my Mental health my Anxiety and feelings of dread and just feeling horrible have returned. At times it feels like I’m just waiting to be worse. It does not help my Wife and kids also tested positive so have that to worry about too. I had been doing ok for quite a while but COVID and being unwell seems to have brought it all back. I know being unwell takes it’s toll but wowzers it’s hitting me hard.
 
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