The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Ugh why do i bother, my wife is incapable of being spontaneous...
she would rather watch a cooking program than get jiggy with it. i was lying there half naked then she wonders why im peed off
 
Relationships are very hard!

take mine, im 19 ive been with my girl for 3 years, broken up 6 times this year already, im not happy and have forgotten what happiness in a relationship feels like, we have a daughter togther (que teenage pregnancy crap....), the circumstances of how my daughter where created hurt me bad, being told the girl was on the pill constantly to then find out she wasnt and hadnt taken them for ages (pretty much got sperm-jacked), although having my daughter hurt our relationship and hasnt exactly helped matters, we have not a lot of trust in our relationship, more than we did, down to things she has done and i have done (no cheating), but the trust is coming slowly (kind of like trying to load windows vista....) my daughter is 20months old and i love her to bits, but she causes so much stress and friction in the relationship its unreal, i pay my way in the world through savings and doing little jobs for people. i currently recieve no benefits and no income, but i do work! only voluntary to get some experience on my cv, my place should be employing me in 2 weeks apprently, i live with my mum, as much as i love my daughter i dont think that even now after 3 years and child me and my partner are ready to live toghether, theres enough stress as it is, sometimes i question wether i love her or wether im just with her cause im scared of being alone, i mean lets face it, no girl at the age of 19-20 is gunna wanna see someone with a kid! our relationship has virtually no spark, lots of arguements, no jiggy time. but tbh i think i would rather stay in my relationship than risk being alone and hurting with no one to turn to, im not exactly confident, ive lost a lot of my friends because of my relationship. the grass seems to be greener on both sides really. oh what id give to have a normal relationship with excitment and happiness! :(
 
Relationships are very hard!

take mine, im 19 ive been with my girl for 3 years, broken up 6 times this year already, im not happy and have forgotten what happiness in a relationship feels like, we have a daughter togther (que teenage pregnancy crap....), the circumstances of how my daughter where created hurt me bad, being told the girl was on the pill constantly to then find out she wasnt and hadnt taken them for ages (pretty much got sperm-jacked), although having my daughter hurt our relationship and hasnt exactly helped matters, we have not a lot of trust in our relationship, more than we did, down to things she has done and i have done (no cheating), but the trust is coming slowly (kind of like trying to load windows vista....) my daughter is 20months old and i love her to bits, but she causes so much stress and friction in the relationship its unreal, i pay my way in the world through savings and doing little jobs for people. i currently recieve no benefits and no income, but i do work! only voluntary to get some experience on my cv, my place should be employing me in 2 weeks apprently, i live with my mum, as much as i love my daughter i dont think that even now after 3 years and child me and my partner are ready to live toghether, theres enough stress as it is, sometimes i question wether i love her or wether im just with her cause im scared of being alone, i mean lets face it, no girl at the age of 19-20 is gunna wanna see someone with a kid! our relationship has virtually no spark, lots of arguements, no jiggy time. but tbh i think i would rather stay in my relationship than risk being alone and hurting with no one to turn to, im not exactly confident, ive lost a lot of my friends because of my relationship. the grass seems to be greener on both sides really. oh what id give to have a normal relationship with excitment and happiness! :(

I've met loads of people who have that exact mindset and it's so incredibly stupid and I'm pretty sure you know that but just don't want to admit it to yourself.
I promise you 100% you will leave her at some point and you will realize after being alone for a while that it's the better situation for you and your daughter.

It's actually a saving grace that you live with your parent(s) because you're not physically having to walk out on your partner and daughter. Just remember that the law is on your side and she cannot keep your daughter from you.


some girls require dinner. movie. shoes + handbag. if its getting to you, talk to her about it

Ha! Most girls will turn around and be like "It's all about sex with you!" even if they haven't given it up for six months+
 
It means that you unconsciously fancied her, which you eventually did make a move on, but for her it was just a "he seems nice? ok lets try" then she backed out of that thinking, messing you around for a month.

Everyone has break ups at University (the same as at work), even with those they have to work closely with (you are not the first person!). BUT remember you are at University for yourself, the only person who matters there is you! No one should get in the way of your studies!

Good to hear you have your head back on. :)

You haven't made any mistakes, just learned a few life lessons about how to approach other people.

Ya I think you've summed it up pretty well actually!

No way am I prepared to screw up my studies for her, wouldn't give her the satisfaction! I'm going to put the head down and concentrate on keeping my life on track for a bit. Not going to fall into the rebound situation.

Getting an impartial perspective here has been a good help.
 
some girls require dinner. movie. shoes + handbag. if its getting to you, talk to her about it

My wife isn't into shopping, plus once you start spending money on them for getting in the sac they expect it everytime.

I just feel that she's no sexually attracted to me, when i asked her "why she is not being spontaneous " she does that roll eyes :rolleyes: then huff"
 
My wife isn't into shopping, plus once you start spending money on them for getting in the sac they expect it everytime.

I just feel that she's no sexually attracted to me, when i asked her "why she is not being spontaneous " she does that roll eyes :rolleyes: then huff"

Indeed, buying stuff in the hope to get sex in return is just ridiculous, and ultimately counter-productive.

Just put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself why you wouldn't want it. Is she stressed, tired, do you pressure her too much(this again is counter-productive as she'll be even less of a mood) is it repetitive and boring?

The only thing you can do is explain to her how you feel, without pulling a strop, and ask her if there's anything she wants/needs doing differently. Other than that maybe it's hormones!
 
My wife isn't into shopping, plus once you start spending money on them for getting in the sac they expect it everytime.

I just feel that she's no sexually attracted to me, when i asked her "why she is not being spontaneous " she does that roll eyes :rolleyes: then huff"

You need to split up. Is better to be married and miserable or single and happy ?

I knew which one to be, and am divorcing her.
 
Just put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself why you wouldn't want it. Is she stressed, tired, do you pressure her too much(this again is counter-productive as she'll be even less of a mood) is it repetitive and boring?

If she's not attracted to him now, I don't think wearing her shoes is going to help.
 
My wife isn't into shopping, plus once you start spending money on them for getting in the sac they expect it everytime.

I just feel that she's no sexually attracted to me, when i asked her "why she is not being spontaneous " she does that roll eyes :rolleyes: then huff"

probably isnt any more. my ex was like that. after we broke up said she no longer found me attractive and sort of hated me every day for a year.
 
Well i told her how i feel and the outcome was worse imo

The problem i have is that i admit i never let her finish the sentence, but it because she's quite negative, so it winds me up. She always tries to use something in the relationship to get back at me, for example today it was the joint account and the chore list. then she states im immature.

she admits that she doesn't talk cause i never listen, but it's difficult who always throws insults at you, the phrase man the f up. one minute im nasty next im not. then one minute she asks if i'm coming to her bday then says whats the point....

Vvhat do you want from me women.
 
I'm getting hate mail (texts) from a an ex mate now about steaming into his ex GF after he left.

He doesn't seem to be too clued up on what "bound over to keep the peace" for a year less than a month ago actually means.

:rolleyes:
 
Well i told her how i feel and the outcome was worse imo

The problem i have is that i admit i never let her finish the sentence, but it because she's quite negative, so it winds me up. She always tries to use something in the relationship to get back at me, for example today it was the joint account and the chore list. then she states im immature.

she admits that she doesn't talk cause i never listen, but it's difficult who always throws insults at you, the phrase man the f up. one minute im nasty next im not. then one minute she asks if i'm coming to her bday then says whats the point....

Vvhat do you want from me women.

Dead relationship, get out and move on.
 
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