The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 21 Nov 2004
- Posts
- 46,383
Well you are right about saving money, my Christmas list has dramatically shrunk.
[FnG]magnolia;23091753 said:The entire thread is right here but SA requires you to pay US$10 to register as a forum user so be aware of that.
It's probably the best thread I've ever read on any forum for whatever that's worth
Just to second this from another SA user, there's some tremendous advice all the way through that thread.
[FnG]magnolia;23095125 said:If you three gentlemen want to send me a trust message I'll pay for your registration at that forum. You'll then be able to read the actual threads rather than just the OP. If you're not interested then that's ok
Hang in there regardless and keep on keeping on. It does get better, it really does.
That's very kind of you and thank you for the offer. I'll be honest and say there would be no need for me to use it. Might be an idea for some one else to make use of it.
Well, had a bit of a kick in the balls this weekend.
Long story short, met a girl on POF and within 24 hours we were on a first meet up/date.
We got on incredibly well, by the end of the night we had a few kisses and were glad we met, even arranging our next meet.
Next day, I get a text saying that we should not have kissed and that there is someone else that she has realised that day she likes.
Ouch :-/
Long story short, met a girl on POF and within 24 hours we were on a first meet up/date.
We got on incredibly well, by the end of the night we had a few kisses and were glad we met, even arranging our next meet.
Next day, I get a text saying that we should not have kissed and that there is someone else that she has realised that day she likes.
Ouch :-/
I think I messed up! I've been unhappy in my current relationship of 2 years. I let it slip in a TEXT MESSAGE 
that I wasn't happy lately and things escalated quickly...
We've not broken up but we both know it's pretty much coming. I feel like such a **** for not expressing myself when we last seen each other. So now I'm stuck in a situation where we're pretty much waiting for a time to get together to end it. (I work nights, she works days, we live apart)
I'm an idiot.
that I wasn't happy lately and things escalated quickly... We've not broken up but we both know it's pretty much coming. I feel like such a **** for not expressing myself when we last seen each other. So now I'm stuck in a situation where we're pretty much waiting for a time to get together to end it. (I work nights, she works days, we live apart)
I'm an idiot.
I want to say thanks to MisChief and everyone else who has given me advice in the past in this thread, and things will get better to those of you who like me are suffering at the moment.
Not a day goes by where I don't think about and miss the other half of me, especially this time of year as it's always been my favourite what with bonfire night, late night walks and being cuddled up together when it's freezing outside. Things happen for a reason though. I need to find myself again and live for me, and as hard as that is to face up to without having someone to share it with, I'm excited for what the future holds as well.
Not a day goes by where I don't think about and miss the other half of me, especially this time of year as it's always been my favourite what with bonfire night, late night walks and being cuddled up together when it's freezing outside. Things happen for a reason though. I need to find myself again and live for me, and as hard as that is to face up to without having someone to share it with, I'm excited for what the future holds as well.
I want to say thanks to MisChief and everyone else who has given me advice in the past in this thread, and things will get better to those of you who like me are suffering at the moment.
Not a day goes by where I don't think about and miss the other half of me, especially this time of year as it's always been my favourite what with bonfire night, late night walks and being cuddled up together when it's freezing outside. Things happen for a reason though. I need to find myself again and live for me, and as hard as that is to face up to without having someone to share it with, I'm excited for what the future holds as well.
Well done Gimp.
I think I messed up! I've been unhappy in my current relationship of 2 years. I let it slip in a TEXT MESSAGE
We've not broken up but we both know it's pretty much coming. I feel like such a **** for not expressing myself when we last seen each other. So now I'm stuck in a situation where we're pretty much waiting for a time to get together to end it. (I work nights, she works days, we live apart)
I'm an idiot.
I don't see how you've done anything wrong mate. If you're unhappy there's no problem saying it when you're not face2face, sometimes it's just easier.
It seems like you have badly conflicting schedules so maybe it's you've just drifted apart?
She might surprised you and be willing to sort it out with you, I'd try and get a phonecall or face2face sometime soon so that you can say it and offer to try and fix things. She may react to your assertiveness positively.
I could do with a hug.
Hopefully if I write some of this down it will help me as well so bare with me.
So, from the beginning. I met her sometime last year. (She's a student Paramedic in the same Ambulance Service.) she was with a Para i've known since I was 10. I noticed her but didn't think at the time. Time went on and we spoke a bit more and a bit more until a few months ago when I added her on Facebook. She invited me out for a drink. Now by this point as I was seeing her more often I started to feel attracted to her.
So, we went out for a drink, still getting on really well. (Well we had a drink at her and ended up on her bed chatting away for hours) but I told her there and then I really liked her and things (At least I thought) started to develop.
We saw each other a few more times and we started to get closer. We opened up to each other, told each other about our previous relationships (And the fact she had an arse of an ex who treated her like crud and got pregnant by him) so I thought well she trusts me with this, she must want a relationship? She told me she wanted to go slow and I accepted this and told her ideally I wanted the same.
Now seeing each other I wouldn't go as far as saying as being 'problematic' I work 12hr rotating shifts. She was at Uni 5 days a week and work by the weekend. But most weeks we'd find time to get together to either go out or just spend time at hers watching TV with some dinner.
I was really happy with this. But it seems that she wasn't. I noticed when we went to a bonfire on Saturday she seemed distant. She asked me back for a cuppa when I dropped her off. I sat and watched TV for an hour and left. She wouldn't even cuddle so again this gave me another alarm bell.
She's been really busy with Uni this week so I thought i'd give her some space (as I thought she might just be stressed) I sent her an occasional text just to let her know I was thinking of her.. she wasn't texting me back. I sent her one this morning asking if she was OK and then at midday she rings me and tells me she doesn't feel the same. I'd apparently done nothing wrong but it wasn't working for her.
To quote Starship Troopers: "Funny how they always want to be your freind just after they rip your guts out"
Thanks for reading guys
Hopefully if I write some of this down it will help me as well so bare with me.
So, from the beginning. I met her sometime last year. (She's a student Paramedic in the same Ambulance Service.) she was with a Para i've known since I was 10. I noticed her but didn't think at the time. Time went on and we spoke a bit more and a bit more until a few months ago when I added her on Facebook. She invited me out for a drink. Now by this point as I was seeing her more often I started to feel attracted to her.
So, we went out for a drink, still getting on really well. (Well we had a drink at her and ended up on her bed chatting away for hours) but I told her there and then I really liked her and things (At least I thought) started to develop.
We saw each other a few more times and we started to get closer. We opened up to each other, told each other about our previous relationships (And the fact she had an arse of an ex who treated her like crud and got pregnant by him) so I thought well she trusts me with this, she must want a relationship? She told me she wanted to go slow and I accepted this and told her ideally I wanted the same.
Now seeing each other I wouldn't go as far as saying as being 'problematic' I work 12hr rotating shifts. She was at Uni 5 days a week and work by the weekend. But most weeks we'd find time to get together to either go out or just spend time at hers watching TV with some dinner.
I was really happy with this. But it seems that she wasn't. I noticed when we went to a bonfire on Saturday she seemed distant. She asked me back for a cuppa when I dropped her off. I sat and watched TV for an hour and left. She wouldn't even cuddle so again this gave me another alarm bell.
She's been really busy with Uni this week so I thought i'd give her some space (as I thought she might just be stressed) I sent her an occasional text just to let her know I was thinking of her.. she wasn't texting me back. I sent her one this morning asking if she was OK and then at midday she rings me and tells me she doesn't feel the same. I'd apparently done nothing wrong but it wasn't working for her.
To quote Starship Troopers: "Funny how they always want to be your freind just after they rip your guts out"
Thanks for reading guys
@ West
*man hug*
One of those things, makes you feel like something is wrong with you, insecurities creep in, makes you want to find out why/how, a gutting, empty feeling. There's no answer. It sucks. Keep your chin up dude
*man hug*
One of those things, makes you feel like something is wrong with you, insecurities creep in, makes you want to find out why/how, a gutting, empty feeling. There's no answer. It sucks. Keep your chin up dude
Keep strong Westy. I found out at EEAST that female Para's can be a bit that way inclined, must be the job that makes them so.
But in all seriousness, keep your head up fella. At least you have the knowledge that you haven't done anything wrong, it's just her that was having doubts. Just unfortunate that she didn't feel she could have talked to you about it more to begin with though
*hugzzz*
But in all seriousness, keep your head up fella. At least you have the knowledge that you haven't done anything wrong, it's just her that was having doubts. Just unfortunate that she didn't feel she could have talked to you about it more to begin with though
*hugzzz*
In one elegant motion, the strungee becomes the stringer...
I've had a little more time to digest what's happened. I have to admit I woke up this afternoon for my nightshift.. was it a bad dream or something and i'd just woken up? Bizzare. The realisation soon sunk in.
I have to admit I woke up this afternoon feeling about 20x worse than I did yesterday, even after she told me.
Could well be down to the fact that I was working last night doing my volunteer work on my Ambulance Car and they kept me pretty busy, now it's hitting me a little more.
I spoke to my manager earlier because she asked me what was wrong. I've never cried at work before
Difficult days ahead still
I have to admit I woke up this afternoon feeling about 20x worse than I did yesterday, even after she told me.
Could well be down to the fact that I was working last night doing my volunteer work on my Ambulance Car and they kept me pretty busy, now it's hitting me a little more.
I spoke to my manager earlier because she asked me what was wrong. I've never cried at work before
Difficult days ahead still
Last edited:
I've had a little more time to digest what's happened. I have to admit I woke up this afternoon for my nightshift.. was it a bad dream or something and i'd just woken up? Bizzare. The realisation soon sunk in.
I have to admit I woke up this afternoon feeling about 20x worse than I did yesterday, even after she told me.
Could well be down to the fact that I was working last night doing my volunteer work on my Ambulance Car and they kept me pretty busy, now it's hitting me a little more.
I spoke to my manager earlier because she asked me what was wrong. I've never cried at work before
Difficult days ahead still
Dreams are, at times, horrible things. In the past, there have been numerous occasions when I have been having a bad dream and then you wake up, and feel a massive sence of relief when you realise it's just a dream. Well now, I am finding myself having dreams where we are still together, and then I wake up, and there is the realisation then we're not. Horrible.
In the days after my break-up, I had to take a few days off work - I just couldn't hack being there. Especially as one of my workmates has just proposed to his girlf and the another has just fallen pregnant.
It's been nearly a month since that day now, there are often times that I feel I am making progress, and then, something happens to knock me back down again.
The next problem i've now found out is that whilst i'm out as a volunteer, i'm going to carry on seeing her as she's going to be working on her next Uni Placement at a local station that often responds to my area.
I suppose I will have to get used to seeing her. I think it's just gonna hurt the first couple of times. It's a couple of weeks away yet. I will just have to deal with it when it happens.
My manager after speaking to her has told me that if I need time off I can take it. I think though if I just sit at home it will make it worse. At least whilst i'm sat at work in being kept busy.