At 66 the chances of me getting in another band is slim but do I really want to play to mostly unappreciative people anyway?
Nick's Stomp post (
how much for a tuner!
) caught my attention as I was wandering through the forum, so I'm glad he gave me chance to see I've missed posts to the thread. Cheers Nick!
Where to begin with this though? I'm having a pretty complicated time with music at the moment too, but in a kind of inverse way. I've had a guitar since I was 18, but it was only when a combination of Mum's dementia, giving up work to look after her, and YouTube came together that I made any progress whatsoever. And when I say progress, nothing like the kind of polished playing and performing I've seen in this thread over the years. The most complicated thing I've done since Mum died and I started putting myself about a bit is help out at the local church (I'm not a Christian, but they were good to my Mum) where a bloke with a big recorder #NotAEuphemism plays in my ear while I try to bodge chords. And I sometimes go to care homes with an older bloke who plays the piano. But we usually keep things separate, because playing together well is hard! I admire bands, and their coordination and discipline, but... it must be a very "complicated" kind of performing, given the various factors bringing players/singers together to put on a decent gig for folk who seldom shut up for long in a social environment.
I am familiar with performing while people get on with a variety of other things. At a recent summer fair at a care home complex I had to compete with a tombola stall next to me, a petting Shetland pony, and a variety of kids who kept getting too close to the speaker, causing me to play quietly in case I damage someone's hearing. I mean, it's only a 10W Cube Street 2, but it's plenty loud enough for a courtyard and... well, young ears. There was a lot of milling around by a lot of folk, but not a lot of evidence anyone was listening. That was... fun. Probably. But I wasn't there for my ego's sake, I was there as background musak to show visitors the kind of musical misery they inflict on residents... I mean, to illustrate the diversity of musical engagement.
Last week I played at five care homes in four days. This week, two dementia groups, and today a care home and a day care centre, involving a lot of rushing about, walking over 6 miles, and a train journey. Tomorrow I'm "just" playing for two families down the road, both of whom are struggling with dementia. Darned disease is everywhere. And although it is immensely satisfying at times (especially during the many weeks when I've virtually no appearances and have time to think) it's also... well, it's not Wembley, is it, with people chanting your own song and four lines of coke & an assortment of freshly plucked groupies waiting for you in the green room.
In fact, it's darned depressing half the time... trying to find a song (any song!) that'll get the person in the corner who's "lifeless" to tap their foot or remember some words.
But... where am I rambling off to? But at least it stops me wondering what the heck I'm playing the guitar for! Music can be its own reward, they say, but it's best when shared... otherwise it's just noodly masturbation. Not that there's anything wrong with noodling at home for your own pleasure.
Do you ever start an analogy and regret it?
Playing to people is hard. And addictive. But whatever it is or isn't, it's a great excuse to buy bits of kit and put in practice hours. Shame I only get occasional pocket money for my singing, but even if I was paid, the amount wouldn't make it worth the hassle of tax returns... and I worry about the legality of a lot of it anyway... copyright, PRS.... performing other people's music is all a bit of a mess. There's theoretical exceptions for care homes, but it all seems very grey area and that weighs on me too. I've finally found something I'm "decent" at and enjoy, but it's not financially rewarding and it's... complicated.
Sometimes I leave feeling I've got everything wrong, not judged audiences well, upset people by being too cheery, or by not being cheery and boisterous (musically) enough and... And I can only imagine how performing in pubs and clubs must be for semi-pro bands. A delight when it goes well, a tangle of emotions when it doesn't... as it sounds like happened for you on the night things fell apart. That must leave a big hole in your life, because -- as I was only saying to some volunteer handbellers yesterday (and no, that's nothing to do with noodling at home either!) -- performing is the easy part. So much time and effort goes into getting to the point of performing, so the hobby is almost more about the preparation than the "release" of the performance.
I'm back on dodgy ground again!
So I can absolutely get how you're feeling thoroughly down at the moment. "What's the point?" is something I struggle with routinely, and I only have me and my guitar to argue with, not band members and a complicated set of interactions and performance gripes to contend with. But it seems to me, seeing how much effort you've put into music in your life, and how much pleasure it's given you, that while a lull in your enthusiasm is inevitable after this wrecking of plans and efforts, it seems unlikely music is done with you. And while I'm not going to suggest you pick up an acoustic and go pester care homes (I do half ancient standards and half 50s/60s/70s stuff), there are plenty of places out there that welcome a bit of free entertainment. So when you get folk na-na-na-ing to Hey Jude, sha-la-la-la-la-ing to Is This The Way To Amarillo, or even dancing to Has Anyone Seen My Gal, as happened for me yesterday, there's plenty of satisfaction out there to be had, and chances to use your skills, even if it's not what you've had most pleasure from so far.
Think I'd better shut up, hadn't I. You'll probably be in another band by next week, however you feel now!
Life has a habit of filling vacuums though, so... the best of luck with whatever fills this musical void for you.
PS I liked Alex's suggestion of the YouTube channel with tips and tricks for gigging. I watch similar videos picking up ideas (and then ignoring them in the heat of the moment).
