The Online Dating Journey

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My best dates where from proper dating sites that you pay a membership, that way everyone is serious about it and not looking to play around. Met a lovely girl that we dated for 9 months then after that met my second wife that way and it's been amazing 10 years

Never really got on with Tinder, full of bots and girls redirecting you to some sort of pay websites like OF or something else just for clicks and subs
 
Met plenty of women off paid for and non paid for sites. Still with the woman I met off Tinder last May. But it is the no one hook up app even though people try and deny it is.
 
Back in the day when I did some online dating. We didn't have the apps like Tinder. We had it tough in our day.. a piece of string with 2 cups either end :D

I've had about 3 long term relationships that started off online. Average duration was 6+ years. I think the key to those relationships is I bumped in to them in an indirect way i.e. we was both there playing games and met. The first one I met via a messenger called ICQ that had this 'Random chat' button. I pressed it and this woman appeared. We chatted, then the phone, then eventually met and got engaged soon after. Unfortunately back then the pickings of women were slim and she was a long distance away, so it fell apart due to real world realities.
 
Back in the ICQ, MSN messenger days. Internet dating was better, you had better quality of women because it wasn't plagued with whales and entitled single mothers.

Dating / Hookup apps opened the hole for the below average women think they can get Brad Pitt because they have over 500 matches on Tinder.
 
I met my partner through Plentyoffish around three years ago (Feb 2018) and we were due to be married in April, but it was cancelled due to the pandemic. We now have a child together. I was looking for love rather than just sex so am very much satisfied by how things have worked out.

I have two friends that are married to partners met through internet dating.

I hated using dating sites but after being suddenly and hard by feelings of loneliness in 2017 (despite having friends and a social life) and spending a few months feeling very low I resumed activity on dating apps and persevered with it. There are no guarantees, but it can work out. Luck is absolutely involved but of course you can work to improve your own odds - work on your physical appearance, develop your interests, learn to appreciate yourself and what you have to give, try not to give up.

I am speaking from the perspective of having used online dating prior to Covid-19. I have no experience with video calling dates but while you lose the opportunity to be tactile where there's a (mutual!) attraction I imagine there's still plenty opportunity to find someone for a physical attraction to develop, just a very frustrating one... I would also imagine it's easier for those that are so inclined to "date" multiple people at the same time as one could quite conceivably end one date and jump straight in to another. Regardless, I believe the OP is correct in pursuing a video call after a few days of exchanging messages. If they don't want to see you or be seen they are probably hiding something or just not sufficiently invested. Move on.

Don't be desperate, don't get catfished - none of this MTV "we've dated via SMS for seven years" madness!
 
I started thread but been told this one exists, i'll just be lazy and paste.

Well have you? What are your stories?
I met my GF on FB while scrolling through those silly picture groups, It took about 6 months for us to actually meet up for a drink though, I remember telling the story a few years ago.

anyway, One time before all that I signed up to Match.com for a laugh but I think I did it wrong or whatever...I was only on a week or two and I was in a bidding war? between two guy called Colin and Barry, Barry won in the end and I got an email telling me I was now owned by Barry?
I swear I filled the forms our correctly and said I was straight, it made for a funny story in work anyways.

@Bouton Aide
 
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I used them when i was younger, had quite a few dates and also a long relationship, but now im my 30's im not a fan, i much prefer meeting people in real life where's there's no expectations and you can pick up on natural cues that they like you, i never ever ever ever play my cards first and i feel like the moment you sign up to a dating app you are doing just that and i find meeting people that way awkward af and makes me feel desperate. Nothing better than meeting a stranger that's totally into you and you know it before you have played a single card. I feel like dating apps have made something that should be totally natural a lost art. Covid screwed things up royally but every cloud has a silver lining, as things start to open up, people who have been single and had little social interaction are now in heat and their cues are even easier to read.
 
BassHead said:
I used them when i was younger, had quite a few dates and also a long relationship, but now im my 30's im not a fan, i much prefer meeting people in real life where's there's no expectations and you can pick up on natural cues that they like you, i never ever ever ever play my cards first and i feel like the moment you sign up to a dating app you are doing just that and i find meeting people that way awkward af and makes me feel desperate. Nothing better than meeting a stranger that's totally into you and you know it before you have played a single card. I feel like dating apps have made something that should be totally natural a lost art. Covid screwed things up royally but every cloud has a silver lining, as things start to open up, people who have been single and had little social interaction are now in heat and their cues are even easier to read.
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I’ve never used online dating, and even if I was able to turn the clock back to when I was “in the life”, I’d not consider it.
You’ve summed it up just about right for me, you’ve described almost exactly how I approached the dating dance, but of course I was a gazillion years younger then.
Like any other red blooded heterosexual guy in those days, I could walk into a bar, party, club, you name it, and without alarming any woman I could open up a an easy going, non threatening conversation, watch for reaction, and either see the glimmer of a green light and run with it, or more times than enough get gently shot down in flames.
It was all part of life’s rich tapestry, and it was so easy, I approached it the same way that I approached gambling in a casino.
I went in prepared to lose, but win if I could.
 
Narj said:
That's probably true for about 90% of guys on there tbh. OKCupid shared some pretty damning figures about the skew from a female perspective a long time ago.
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Yes the non white part being the biggest issue. No one will date Asian men in the West, they won't even talk to you so no need to blame my personality. Non whites will avoid dating non whites too because of their daddy issues.

There was some article and interview with some Chinese fitness coach in the USA that had 100% rejection on Tinder and he was built like a truck lol.

Should've let my dad cart me off for a sharia marriage when I was 14.
 
BallistixOnZ490 said:
Yes the non white part being the biggest issue. No one will date Asian men in the West, they won't even talk to you so no need to blame my personality. Non whites will avoid dating non whites too because of their daddy issues.

There was some article and interview with some Chinese fitness coach in the USA that had 100% rejection on Tinder and he was built like a truck lol.
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Can't speak from experience in that respect but the girls at work will fall over themselves if an Asian, etc. comes in as much as anyone else if they sport a slick hair cut, well dressed and appear to have a reasonable income :s

If not it doesn't matter what colour your skin is you are just as dead to them.
 
Rroff said:
Can't speak from experience in that respect but the girls at work will fall over themselves if an Asian, etc. comes in as much as anyone else if they sport a slick hair cut, well dressed and appear to have a reasonable income :s

If not it doesn't matter what colour your skin is you are just as dead to them.
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Are you confused about the 'online' part in 'online dating'?
 
BassHead said:
i much prefer meeting people in real life where's there's no expectations and you can pick up on natural cues that they like you, i never ever ever ever play my cards first and i feel like the moment you sign up to a dating app you are doing just that and i find meeting people that way awkward af and makes me feel desperate. Nothing better than meeting a stranger that's totally into you and you know it before you have played a single card.
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What do you mean by that - are you talking about letting them know that you like them or simply letting them find stuff out about you?

BallistixOnZ490 said:
There was some article and interview with some Chinese fitness coach in the USA that had 100% rejection on Tinder and he was built like a truck lol.
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IIRC from the OKCupid data

As a group, Chinese (or Asian in general - I assume perhaps skewed towards East Asian) is the worst male group to be in.

Black is the nut low for females.

This flips the other way around too for non-whites - with Asian women and black men both being desirable.

I guess being petite etc.. works well for women and being big/muscular works well for guys. white generally did well across the board.

Granted this is based on OkCupid data from a few years ago, things might have shifted a bit now with the rise in wokeness.
 
BallistixOnZ490 said:
Are you confused about the 'online' part in 'online dating'?
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No - I've just never found it that distinct - online dating comes up a fair bit at work and same there - I've not seen any real discrimination in that respect it has been much more about perception of how trendy and well off someone is.
 
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