The Rise of Lonely Single Straight Men

malachi said:
If that's what you interpreted from what I posted then I dont have an other words for you.



But true!


Going through this thread there are some very unproductive men when it comes to attracting women and you know what? That applies to many men in the world today. It would be very interesting to see how they apply that way of thinking to other parts of their life. I bet that's also a poop show!

When I came on here and offer some friendly advice, me who recently became single and getting some good results. Waiting for the ex to come back and complain about why I have moved on so easily….but that’s not for this thread :D

I said earlier, dress better. Don't approach women with messy hair, Star Wars T-shirt with your stomaching hanging out expecting to get positive reception from women. What did I get??? "Nah! Nah! Nah! YOU GOT TO BE GOOD LOOKING!!!!"

Also said for dating apps, take some decent photos of yourself. Get a professional photographer to take photos of you out and about, in a natural environment, doing your hobbies. What did I get??? "Nah! Nah! Nah! YOU GOT TO BE GOOD LOOKING!!!!"

These take very little effort, just abit of investment in yourself. WHICH WILL ACTUALLY MAKE YOU LOOK BETTER! Yet, I see push back!

You don't want to make an effort to invest in yourself to get attraction from women yet you are quick to waste hundreds, maybe thousands of pounds on the latest GPU, CPU, i-Device and have the cheek to complain about "modern" women, their dating expectations and why you are not getting them.

When I was on dating sites, I looked at the men's area to check my competition. See how they looked, what I was up against. 99.9% of the profiles were embarrassing. Crappy selfies, low light photos, photos of them out with "the lads" drinking looking in a bad state. No wonder men are struggling on dating sites! You all look god awful! I wouldn't date you either if I was a woman! Not even going to talk about the profile because lets be honest, women won’t look at your profile if your photos look like garbage. Worse thing is, you all can do so much better but you choose not to. So whose fault is that?

We are men, most of us don’t get blessed with dashing good looks to attract women. Unlike women who can attract men with very little or no effort. But that's life, it has always been like that and always will be. Got a problem with that? Take it up with Mother Nature or whichever Creator you prey to because they made it that way and when you get an answer, let us know!

Until then, this is how it is. Yes, women can be crappy, flaky, have stupid high expectations but it’s never going change as long as we live in this comfortable world.

So, either play the game, can get on with that needs to be done to get results or sit on the bench and stop complaining. Because we are men, therefore nobody cares especially women!
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fake it till you **** it?
 
GIBURROWS said:
The apps aren't designed to help you find anyone but to get you to upgrade and spend money, there is an algorithm which should be investigated by some authority as to the rise of depression.
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They want to keep you on the apps, not off them.

I have never known a woman pay for Tinder but I know plenty of men who do. Men is where Tinder makes their money and there are way more men on Tinder then women.
 
Never had a problem attracting females, in fact I also don't follow trends in regard to that anyway.
I am getting married so this is not an issue, oh but also remember "Looks standards".
If you are too hooked on this you will ruin your own chances.

Some people truly take looks way too far and yes I am an attractive male.
 
sidimmu said:
Anyone else; since being a part of this topic found themselves feeling a bit bewildered or down about the situation and/or some comments in here?

Being honest, there's been a few things in here which certainly got me reflecting and dont fancy it anymore. Nothing about personal appearances and all that jazz, more surrounding the nature of dating, requirements and frankly bol***ks of it all. Sitting here thinking why am I bothering with any of the apps, its been months and not a single hit, why dont I just go **** around with a brass?
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Stop doing what everyone else is doing, if things are not working change it up?

Do you work? You could just mingle amongst the females at work as long as you are not a creep.
 
Tired9 said:
Never had a problem attracting females, in fact I also don't follow trends in regard to that anyway.
I am getting married so this is not an issue, oh but also remember "Looks standards".
If you are too hooked on this you will ruin your own chances.

Some people truly take looks way too far and yes I am an attractive male.
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I dont know......I have seen few skinny guys walking round holding hands with fat chicks. Maybe they dont care about looks, just their personality :D

And congrats on getting married! :)
 
malachi said:
I dont know......I have seen few skinny guys walking round holding hands with fat chicks. Maybe they dont care about looks, just their personality :D

And congrats on getting married! :)
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I have never been a looks guy since my teens, I sure as heck can appreciate a beautiful looking man or female, looks are separate to me from attraction in a sexual manner for whatever reason.
Then it could be due to losing my first woman to death, I dunno things change people through life, I do remember being a way more visual person when I was in my late teen years, 23 I lost her, I had met a couple of other women as we were not matches in the long run. Been with my lady for 3 years now and all is still smooth sailing.

Most of it is mental / emotional for me, the details and mind set need to be at least 95% smooth together otherwise it creates a division between you both.
 
This is me right now, I am 32.


I was never a confident person, I had self esteem issues as I was abused as a child, I just want to say that I am not trying to invalidate anyone here but try other ways, don't just give up and don't let resentment fill the gap.
I will also say that regardless of how you look or how much you care about the other person, it is always you that needs to come first before them, when you are in a relationship you then have to balance this with the other, to start with though, aimn to be the best you can be, for some not dating at all might be a good solution, work on yourself and learn more about you. I don't know answers for all though.
 
Chillr said:
Yeah these dating apps and the popularity of love island and such shows are showing women all the ripped guys obsessed with gyms and they get their expectations that all guys are built like this, well think its hard now cause guys feel the pressure that to get a woman to see them as attractive they have to have a six pack.

I think its tough for guys maybe, bit controversial but I find lots young women today seem obsessed with being caked in makeup, I always think most women always look better without makeup, all the heavy fake eyelashes like hundreds of spiders legs sticking far out from their eyes and the pouting lips with filler or whatever it is they put in them, also the popularity to be covered in tattoos, I'm sure some love this look, but just not for me anyway.
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Hey I tell my lady she don't have to shave if she don't want to, it's not about me, I can take the social ego hit let alone a bit of hair around the old baby maker, I don't really need others, if it means I can get my lady to be more real and down to Earth with me then that is all I want, increasing the bond / intimacy means you have much more takeover of their inner feelings and deepest desires, it also means that in a fair relationship, you show your vulnerable side too, these two components are the deeper things people are not talking about, most stuff on here is very surface level just like the looks stuff.

The only thing is you will come to see this and people who are unaware of just how much they mean to that person can sometimes be blind to what they created and so hurt them from a deeper place.

I tend to notice that people who are not emotionally intelligent tend to fair worse in relationships.
 
Tired9 said:
Stop doing what everyone else is doing, if things are not working change it up?

Do you work? You could just mingle amongst the females at work as long as you are not a creep.
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I work but not in an environment where I have work friends locally, I'm a visitor every where I go for work, so this doesnt really work.
Changed up the approach before this thread and after, nothing changes in the results.
instead of being a normal guy, i'll guess I'll go flashing cash on the apps and see the luck change, fake it till you make it is clearly the way forward.
 
sidimmu said:
I work but not in an environment where I have work friends locally, I'm a visitor every where I go for work, so this doesnt really work.
Changed up the approach before this thread and after, nothing changes in the results.
instead of being a normal guy, i'll guess I'll go flashing cash on the apps and see the luck change, fake it till you make it is clearly the way forward.
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I did say I don't have the answers for all, change can happen but only if you want what you want so badly.
 
When I was a young man I used to always make an effort to approach women in the night clubs and bars (this was all pre-dating apps).

I'm not blessed with good looks. Especially with my various physical disabilities people generally make up an opinion, usually based on a stereotyped view. Growing up in a closed environment with nearly zero women in my life (my chosen hobbies were computers and politics - both had very few women involved). I was starting from the beginning at a late age. I was socially awkward at first and everytime I'd approach women I'd get 'the look' and walk away. I was lucky to have friends also approaching women and also getting knocked back too. So the rejection didn't feel personal to me.

I've done some goofy stuff over the years. I've noticed goofy works for some guys and not others. There are general paths in dating but there is no one side fits all.

The one time I decided to go out and not bother chasing women, just enjoy time with my (male) friends, a woman approached me. When she started talking to me I did look over my shoulder to see if she was talking to someone behind me :)

The moral of the story is you have to be confident and secure in yourself. It's a fine balance between being seen as confident and arrogant, and its possible you could be doing the same things with 2 different women and each come to a different opinion of you.

In my opinion you can only gain self confidence when you're around other men. You can't base your confidence of what some random woman thinks of you. Sadly a lot of guys drop their male friends, or don't have any male friends and put all these self security in to a current relationship. This path is emotionally dangerous for both as you, and I think is what usually leads some men to mistreat women when they feel slighted.

I know its an old mind set but true from what I've seen, the more you spend not thinking of women, as long as you put yourself in situations where women are, eventually naturally you'll start talking.
 
BowdonUK said:
When I was a young man I used to always make an effort to approach women in the night clubs and bars (this was all pre-dating apps).

I'm not blessed with good looks. Especially with my various physical disabilities people generally make up an opinion, usually based on a stereotyped view. Growing up in a closed environment with nearly zero women in my life (my chosen hobbies were computers and politics - both had very few women involved). I was starting from the beginning at a late age. I was socially awkward at first and everytime I'd approach women I'd get 'the look' and walk away. I was lucky to have friends also approaching women and also getting knocked back too. So the rejection didn't feel personal to me.

I've done some goofy stuff over the years. I've noticed goofy works for some guys and not others. There are general paths in dating but there is no one side fits all.

The one time I decided to go out and not bother chasing women, just enjoy time with my (male) friends, a woman approached me. When she started talking to me I did look over my shoulder to see if she was talking to someone behind me :)

The moral of the story is you have to be confident and secure in yourself. It's a fine balance between being seen as confident and arrogant, and its possible you could be doing the same things with 2 different women and each come to a different opinion of you.

In my opinion you can only gain self confidence when you're around other men. You can't base your confidence of what some random woman thinks of you. Sadly a lot of guys drop their male friends, or don't have any male friends and put all these self security in to a current relationship. This path is emotionally dangerous for both as you, and I think is what usually leads some men to mistreat women when they feel slighted.

I know its an old mind set but true from what I've seen, the more you spend not thinking of women, as long as you put yourself in situations where women are, eventually naturally you'll start talking.
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It all sounds very tedious, time consuming and expensive when there are benzodiazepines to be found cheaply ;)
 
Song for you sorrowful singles.


It's not a **** take, the songs message is to stop thinking and do stuff, online dating is not in person..

Also one of the most amazing female vocals of all time.

;)

Read about Laura Branigan, amazing woman.

Hopefully it inspires.

 
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