The worlds WORST jokes in here please.

What's the difference between a chav and a computer?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.
 
Heard about Michael Barrymore's new sitcom?
It's called only pools and corpses!

Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays in his house?
Because he puts the fags out in the swimming pool!
 
goes up to the bar and orders a pint of Whitbread. Has a sip then goes for a ****, asking the stocky black woman sat next to him if she'll keep an eye on his beer for him.

So he goes off and has his **** then comes back, picks up his pint and is about to take a drink when he notices it smells like farts.

He turns to the woman and says, 'scuse me love, you fart in ma Whitbread?'

She replies, 'no...













I'm Tessa Sanderson, but I get that a lot.
 
3 sisters wanted to know where they got thier names from so the 1st girl Rose asks her mum and she says: "That when you were born a beautiful rose petal blew in through the hospital window and landed on your head."
The 2nd girl Daisy asks her mum the same question in which she got the same reply. "A Daisy petal flew in from the window and landed on your head."
The 3rd girl then asks her mum: "Urrrrrrhh, elurrrrr, garufffff a e mum eurrrrrrrrff, HHHHNNNNNNNGGG" To which the mum replies: "Shut up fridge!"
 
The city boy goes to countryside to visit his uncle. After the sun
goes down, the boy hears strange, another-world howling. He gets
frightened and runs to his uncle. "Uncle, uncle, there are
werewolves!"
"That's rubbish, boy, ain't no such thing".
"'Then, there must be man-eating wolves".
"No, we haven't got those buddies, either."
"What is this sound, then?" the boy asks.
"They are coyotes".
"Coyotes? What are those?"
"They look a lot like dogs. In fact, ya can consider them a kind of
dog." The boy wants to find out more: "Why are they making that
frightening noise?"
"See, nephew, we ain't got many trees around here. We got cactuses!"
 
Two cannibals in the jungle:

Cannibal 1: "I've become a vegetarian."
Cannibal 2: "But I just saw you eat that man!"
Cannibal 1: "He was a Swede...."
 
Three people of different nationalities walk into a bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by acting dumb
 
Whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

*****************************
Whats the difference between a monkey and a gorilla?

You can't make toast under a monkey.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom