This Business and Moment...

We have an internal website/software that we use for tracking leads/orders/helpdesk stuff etc. it was developed by our Tech Director, amazing coder but **** at documenting anything.

I'm an admin on the site but the problem is most of my time is spent setting up new users, reactivating users or closing users down. I had no training myself but I can upload orders and some other bits but due to the fact it's used in very different ways by each department I've no idea what they actually do with it. I managed to cover the basics that he'll need...i think :D
 
I do not want to work here anymore. I'm not even sure i want to work in IT either. I don't know what i want to do.

The only thing i do know is that if I stay here I'm likely to end up getting fired or hospitalised.

Anyone else reached a brick wall in the job/career and not know what they wanted to do?

Yep. 100%

I'm sitting there right now swimming in stress and responsibility. I have meetings coming up today where I won't have any answers for questions I know I'll be asked. The same questions I was asked a week ago. I can see car crashes happening in slow motion I'm powerless to stop due to budget and knowledge issues. Despite my utter hardest graft to stay positive and upbeat, I drink 3-4 nights a week now and never sleep past 3am due to stress. And even when I sleep, I dream about work constantly. I'm not the type of guy that can just 'let it go and switch off' when I get home. It's not me. I've looked at other rolls but it's the same thing. They'll pay you The Money but only for a piece of your soul.

So now I'm stuck. Finding work in NZ is not a problem. Heaps of opportunities here. My problem is that I've became accustomed to a certain income and while I'm an utter minimalist that practically live off dust, mentally it's hard going back to a 'normal' wage after earning what I've been on the past 4 years. Despite it making me unhappy to my soul, the ambition bug is still nibbling at my ankles and for some mysterious reason I'm still chasing money I don't use or need for my lifestyle.

Some days I'm almost convinced that a major health scare would be just what I need to give me some different perspective on life.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll figure it out just as I'm sure you'll do the same. Keep me/us up to date :)
 
Yep. 100%

I'm sitting there right now swimming in stress and responsibility. I have meetings coming up today where I won't have any answers for questions I know I'll be asked. The same questions I was asked a week ago. I can see car crashes happening in slow motion I'm powerless to stop due to budget and knowledge issues. Despite my utter hardest graft to stay positive and upbeat, I drink 3-4 nights a week now and never sleep past 3am due to stress. And even when I sleep, I dream about work constantly. I'm not the type of guy that can just 'let it go and switch off' when I get home. It's not me. I've looked at other rolls but it's the same thing. They'll pay you The Money but only for a piece of your soul.

So now I'm stuck. Finding work in NZ is not a problem. Heaps of opportunities here. My problem is that I've became accustomed to a certain income and while I'm an utter minimalist that practically live off dust, mentally it's hard going back to a 'normal' wage after earning what I've been on the past 4 years. Despite it making me unhappy to my soul, the ambition bug is still nibbling at my ankles and for some mysterious reason I'm still chasing money I don't use or need for my lifestyle.

Some days I'm almost convinced that a major health scare would be just what I need to give me some different perspective on life.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll figure it out just as I'm sure you'll do the same. Keep me/us up to date :)

Sounds like your in way over your head. Is there nobody within the company that you can go to for help?
 
Yep. 100%

I'm sitting there right now swimming in stress and responsibility. I have meetings coming up today where I won't have any answers for questions I know I'll be asked. The same questions I was asked a week ago. I can see car crashes happening in slow motion I'm powerless to stop due to budget and knowledge issues. Despite my utter hardest graft to stay positive and upbeat, I drink 3-4 nights a week now and never sleep past 3am due to stress. And even when I sleep, I dream about work constantly. I'm not the type of guy that can just 'let it go and switch off' when I get home. It's not me. I've looked at other rolls but it's the same thing. They'll pay you The Money but only for a piece of your soul.

So now I'm stuck. Finding work in NZ is not a problem. Heaps of opportunities here. My problem is that I've became accustomed to a certain income and while I'm an utter minimalist that practically live off dust, mentally it's hard going back to a 'normal' wage after earning what I've been on the past 4 years. Despite it making me unhappy to my soul, the ambition bug is still nibbling at my ankles and for some mysterious reason I'm still chasing money I don't use or need for my lifestyle.

Some days I'm almost convinced that a major health scare would be just what I need to give me some different perspective on life.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll figure it out just as I'm sure you'll do the same. Keep me/us up to date :)
If money is not an issue, go in to work tomorrow and resign. Really, do it.

Sit back and think about what you want to do next.

It is a job, no more and though it provides the means to live, many other jobs without such stress will do that too and don't focus on the pound notes/dollars, that's easy to fix given time, but right now based purely what I am reading here you need to stop now. I assure you once that decision is made sleep will come back and life will be much better.
 
I don't know why I don't resign. I ask myself that every evening and every morning. Best I can come up with is 'personal pride'. I moved cities for this job. I've been here just over 5 weeks and because things got a bit hard, I'm ready to chuck it in? Here, everyone do it hard. I had subtle warnings beforehand and was told by others that if I can hack it here for 3 years or more, I'll be able to go anywhere in the country with this type of experience. But heeding warnings and coming face to face with the furnace (so to speak) is two very different beasts :p

I've got a 2 hour meeting tomorrow with my direct manager and then I'll unload. There's a certain milestone coming up next Friday or the week after that I want to achieve. The pressure should ease a bit after that and then I'll be able to make a decision with a clear head.
 
I know what you mean about not wanting to let it lie, chucking it in because it got hard wouldn't be something I could do, regardless. Yet, you have to have a balance of your personal health at the same time and sometimes be a little bit less stubborn (pot kettle black here).
If you can't, try and find your rhythm of not expecting to deliver xyz when set out, but work to your own set out milestones as you have said. Will they kick you out if you don't have the answers? Is it expected, or have you told them that you don't before and you can't get the answers with ABC?

I'd just try and be like, look you all know this is a **** show, managing it is a **** show and it's all ****. I'm picking the stuff we can hit out of this sinking steaming pile and I challenge you to do any better in this situation.
 
Back in work today, and something that is pure gold has happened.

My boss is off sick today....and...and...he is working from home! :D

This is serious ammunition for me now.

All more to go in my email to HR and the board of directors for when I leave.
 
Back in work today, and something that is pure gold has happened.

My boss is off sick today....and...and...he is working from home! :D

This is serious ammunition for me now.

All more to go in my email to HR and the board of directors for when I leave.

TBH I'd just leave on good terms - don't burn any bridges.

I had a similar situation at my last place, totally **** of a boss, but it's just not worth throwing them under a bus at the end, the thing with the IT industry is that you're bound to see them again at some point.
 
TBH I'd just leave on good terms - don't burn any bridges.

I had a similar situation at my last place, totally **** of a boss, but it's just not worth throwing them under a bus at the end, the thing with the IT industry is that you're bound to see them again at some point.
I have had horrible managers before and left on good terms.

But this guy takes the biscuit. It's not just me specifically he affects. It's the whole team. He is not a manager, but a dictator...I am going to say something because he's put me and the team through so much...I would regret it if I didn't.

What I am going to make sure is that my email is professional and states facts, but not allowing it to become personal.

If someone is constantly breaking rules they are trying to set and going out of their way to make you feel utterly worthless everyday, don't you think something should be said?
 
I don't know why I don't resign. I ask myself that every evening and every morning. Best I can come up with is 'personal pride'. I moved cities for this job. I've been here just over 5 weeks and because things got a bit hard, I'm ready to chuck it in? Here, everyone do it hard. I had subtle warnings beforehand and was told by others that if I can hack it here for 3 years or more, I'll be able to go anywhere in the country with this type of experience. But heeding warnings and coming face to face with the furnace (so to speak) is two very different beasts :p

I've got a 2 hour meeting tomorrow with my direct manager and then I'll unload. There's a certain milestone coming up next Friday or the week after that I want to achieve. The pressure should ease a bit after that and then I'll be able to make a decision with a clear head.

You don't because despite hating it, you are comfortable. Your comfort zone is the worst place to be, you will take all sorts of **** because you don't want to leave it. But, you'll never grow and know what else you can achieve by staying there.

TBH I'd just leave on good terms - don't burn any bridges.

I had a similar situation at my last place, totally **** of a boss, but it's just not worth throwing them under a bus at the end, the thing with the IT industry is that you're bound to see them again at some point.

That depends how much you value friendships with the people you work with. I've thrown bad managers under buses when leaving a company and I've had nothing but thanks for it because each time someone left they all hoped they had the guts to speak the truth and make it a nicer place for them. I've done that, I've helped friends out, made their lives easier and the company better for it. Will I see that manager again, who cares, I just know I left a business in a better state than when I started.
 
I have had horrible managers before and left on good terms.

But this guy takes the biscuit. It's not just me specifically he affects. It's the whole team. He is not a manager, but a dictator...I am going to say something because he's put me and the team through so much...I would regret it if I didn't.

What I am going to make sure is that my email is professional and states facts, but not allowing it to become personal.

If someone is constantly breaking rules they are trying to set and going out of their way to make you feel utterly worthless everyday, don't you think something should be said?

+1 *LIKE*
 
I have had horrible managers before and left on good terms.

But this guy takes the biscuit. It's not just me specifically he affects. It's the whole team. He is not a manager, but a dictator...I am going to say something because he's put me and the team through so much...I would regret it if I didn't.

What I am going to make sure is that my email is professional and states facts, but not allowing it to become personal.

If someone is constantly breaking rules they are trying to set and going out of their way to make you feel utterly worthless everyday, don't you think something should be said?

You don't because despite hating it, you are comfortable. Your comfort zone is the worst place to be, you will take all sorts of **** because you don't want to leave it. But, you'll never grow and know what else you can achieve by staying there.



That depends how much you value friendships with the people you work with. I've thrown bad managers under buses when leaving a company and I've had nothing but thanks for it because each time someone left they all hoped they had the guts to speak the truth and make it a nicer place for them. I've done that, I've helped friends out, made their lives easier and the company better for it. Will I see that manager again, who cares, I just know I left a business in a better state than when I started.

Yep, agree with you guys. As long as it's objective and constructive it's fine. It's just often VERY tempting to go on an all out assault :p
 
If I go on an all out assault it will fall on deaf ears.

Things I know are:

- This guy has gone through 13 (I will be the 14th) staff in 1 year. Thats 3 replacements of the entire team in 12 months.
- Questions are being raised by the board of directors because of the above
- Only 1 person before me has said anything. They need something more tangible to actually take action
- The boss is related to the CEO. So for this to progress and make an impact it has to go to HR and then subsequently onto the board of directors.
- The technical director also wants to quit and is looking for a job. If he does, the department WILL fall apart and they will be forced to go back to externally sourced IT again. Which will cause an enormous riot.

If I explain about how I like the company but how my manager has made me feel so unwelcome, insulted and singled out (with part of it due to me being English) coupled with examples of his consistently bad decision making then who knows...it just might be the tipping point. It might also be completely ignored. But at least I've said something.
 
Exactly, if you say that you are only pushing this due to the issues that it is causing your work mates and how you feel it could have a detrimental effect on the business and costs they will be forced to listen. If you also raise the issue that people are scared to say anything due to the fall out from it and the fact of his family connection it will give it more weight. If nothing else it should cause them to investigate further.
 
You don't because despite hating it, you are comfortable. Your comfort zone is the worst place to be, you will take all sorts of **** because you don't want to leave it. But, you'll never grow and know what else you can achieve by staying there.


.

TBH, usually I would agree with you or anyone using the 'comfort' argument, but on this occasion I don't believe that to be the case. This place is not home yet. We're all in separate pods and I only really pass the other managers when we're at HQ for meetings or whatnot. I'm based on a client's site with my team. I can take it or leave it.

Although I must say, I had two serendipitous moments yesterday that made me feel better about the whole thing and I came home yesterday feeling good. Had a chat with the gf and to cut a long tale short, I'm going to give it another few weeks and see if things improve. That decision was aided the past hour after meeting with a senior manager and calmly informing him that the way I've been told to 'have at it' don't help the project and the wider company. I laid out the issues I'm having, possible solutions (in line with organizational procedures) and a rough cost analysis. I thought that going in there and throwing my toys without offering solutions would make me look just as bad :p

We've come to an agreement but I did manage to convey that while I enjoy the people I'm working with, the work itself has been a bit of a let down and I'm considering my position with the company. If I really cared about being let go, it would've been a risky maneuver, but I believed his response to have been positive and he's going to be spending 1 day a week working from my site for as long as I need him to.

It's a start. I'm still not willing to acknowledge that things improved but at least for yesterday and today, I'm feeling a bit more upbeat :)
 
I know what you mean about not wanting to let it lie, chucking it in because it got hard wouldn't be something I could do, regardless. Yet, you have to have a balance of your personal health at the same time and sometimes be a little bit less stubborn (pot kettle black here).
If you can't, try and find your rhythm of not expecting to deliver xyz when set out, but work to your own set out milestones as you have said. Will they kick you out if you don't have the answers? Is it expected, or have you told them that you don't before and you can't get the answers with ABC?

I'd just try and be like, look you all know this is a **** show, managing it is a **** show and it's all ****. I'm picking the stuff we can hit out of this sinking steaming pile and I challenge you to do any better in this situation.

No they won't kick me out. Not yet anyway. There's reasons for that but it's too long to get into and not all that relevant.

But yea, it's tough to just chuck it in. I'm as lazy as they come but for some reason when it comes to my professional life, I can be quite stubborn and refuse to let things die.

Anyway, almost weekend, Horizon Zero Dawn almost out and got paid yesterday. Things aren't looking too bad right now!
 
I know the feeling. I hate to lose.

I'm just in the office, awkward as I have a demo for emotuit while in the novartis office as it's with Singapore and the only time they're up. Ah well, no one is in the office at the moment anyway. Just want to nail this one and it'll be a nice finish to the week.
 
I know the feeling. I hate to lose.

I'm just in the office, awkward as I have a demo for emotuit while in the novartis office as it's with Singapore and the only time they're up. Ah well, no one is in the office at the moment anyway. Just want to nail this one and it'll be a nice finish to the week.

Just out of interest, what's your conversion % from demo to customer?
 
Back
Top Bottom