Soldato
Both projections are dishonest really. Much of that war was extrajudicial killings and assassinations via drone strike rather than open combat. Where leaders made the decision "yes we will kill civilians but this is when we know where the target is so yes blow up the wedding".
To say its different because its a war, a war you started when you're the invading army killing people who have zero capacity to ever reach you or your army if you just stayed home is pushing it.
Afganistan didn't attack america on 9/11, america did not need "defending" and our decade long war left the taliban better armed, equiped and empowered than when we started.
War doesn't need to be fair, in fact you want it to be as unfair as possible with the advantage to your side.
Collateral damage always has been and sadly in many cases always will be a part of war. If a bad guy needs to be taken out and you have your chance and in the long run many lives will be saved its just the harsh reality.
No Afghanistan didn't but they sheltered the man and organisation that did. There is no way 9/11 could go unanswered. if they had given up Bin Laden and kicked out al-Qaeda maybe things would have gone differently.