Poll: Were you Smacked as a child?

[Slime101]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
So far there are 57 + 5 = 62 people who advocate smacking kiddies. There are only 5 + 4 = 9 people who are against smacking.

Do you not see how widespread and accepted it is to smack a defenceless child? In essence it can be considered a form of bullying. We're used to smacking kiddies and accept it as the norm for the raising of a child.

You become what you are taught is a well known saying. What's the point in having a well behaved child who's been brought up in a smacking environment if that child's life has been changed according to the wishes of it's parent? The child itself is not it's true self, but a reflection of the parent. Most parents try and model their kids on themselves rather than allow them to develope their own characters and personas. If you've been smacked as a child, it's almost certain that you will smack your child, too. It's a never ending cycle of violence and is the widespread continued norm of lazy parenting in my opinion. Sit your kids down and explain right and wrong to them, not raise your hand in anger to someone who can't fight back. You wouldn't dare raise your hand to an adult who could. Children are not as thick as some people give them credit for.

MYB - maybe your situation when you were younger has lead you to belive all smacking is bullying =, uncontrolled, angry, etc etc. Its got nothing to do with picking on defenceless children except in a few isolated cases which, from reading every post in this thread, it seems is frowned upon. The people who have posted in here have said they knew they were wrong when it happened and it worked, and would use the same methods on their own kids - not they were beaten for everything and anything needlessly and would do the same to their children now.

Its sad to hear of parents abusing their kids, but thankfully it doesnt happen that much and most people can differentiate between discipline and bullying/beating a child needlessly.

 

[asim]

Hittin aint nothing compared to a shoe flying at u at the age of 8. Dam that really improves ur reflexes. Plus u ever try force a door to shut against the strength of an adult. Dam thats some difficult work.

 

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
So far there are 57 + 5 = 62 people who advocate smacking kiddies. There are only 5 + 4 = 9 people who are against smacking.

Do you not see how widespread and accepted it is to smack a defenceless child? In essence it can be considered a form of bullying. We're used to smacking kiddies and accept it as the norm for the raising of a child.

You become what you are taught is a well known saying. What's the point in having a well behaved child who's been brought up in a smacking environment if that child's life has been changed according to the wishes of it's parent? The child itself is not it's true self, but a reflection of the parent. Most parents try and model their kids on themselves rather than allow them to develope their own characters and personas. If you've been smacked as a child, it's almost certain that you will smack your child, too. It's a never ending cycle of violence and is the widespread continued norm of lazy parenting in my opinion. Sit your kids down and explain right and wrong to them, not raise your hand in anger to someone who can't fight back. You wouldn't dare raise your hand to an adult who could. Children are not as thick as some people give them credit for.

I could not possibly diasgree MORE with you Beaky!

I was smacked as a kid and I am the least violent person you have ever met. I have never punched/kicked/fought with another person (except in defence when my brother used to beat me up ), and would never resort to violence in any situation. A vast majority of kids are smacked, and believe it or not, we are not a nation of thugs.

Smacking kids ISN'T about violence, it's about teaching them that something is wrong. Smacking is a perfect example of conditioning. It's classic psychology. Eventually children will learn that doing something wrong equals a smack, so they will stop being naughty. Young children don't automatically know what is right and wrong, it's something that they have to learn. IMHO smacking is a fast and effective way of them learning.

As a kid, if my mum had sat me down each time I was bad and said to me 'look Kate, that was very naughty, don't do it again' I'd have completely ignored her and just done it again. Kids need the association between crime and punishment to stop them misbehaving. Ok, other punishments like no TV etc. may work, but smacking is far more effective because it's a punishment that is instigated straight away and is highly embarassing, especially if you're in public.

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by Slime101
.

Its sad to hear of parents abusing their kids, but thankfully it doesnt happen that much and most people can differentiate between discipline and bullying/beating a child needlessly.

Sadly this isn't the case, sir. Many children are heavily beaten that never get to reach the courts. Stand in a bus depot and see how accepted it is to whack your child. Heavily. Enough to make them cry and feel pain. It's more widespread than you like to think. The only way to stop violence towards kids is to ban it in it's entirity. It's then up to you as a responsible parent to bring up your child without spoiling him, to help protect those children who are treated with a heavy hand. We accept violence towards children within society and this encourages lazy parenting techniques, especially by those who use a heavy hand. I believe it's now illegal to smack a child. Peoples attitudes needs to be changed. Children should not be considered as property and owned by the parents. They have their own life to live, not that of another.

One chap I knew as a kid had a father who meant his kids to grow up "tough" and able to handle themselves. He would parade him and his brother in the garden and punch them to get them used to taking blows. The person in question grew up to be psychotic, was always involved in fights, thought people were always picking on him for the least little excuse and later in life turned out to be a paedophile. He turned out to be a man who was feared around town and his life was ruined by his father.

Another chap I knew was never smacked by a parent in his entire life, but not spoiled neither. He's now a successful businessman with a profitable business, has a happy marriage, a nice house and is content with his life. He's himself, not someone who was moulded in an image, and he's grateful for it.

 

[Slime101]

Originally posted by Lostkat
I could not possibly diasgree MORE with you Beaky!

I was smacked as a kid and I am the least violent person you have ever met. I have never punched/kicked/fought with another person (except in defence when my brother used to beat me up ), and would never resort to violence in any situation. A vast majority of kids are smacked, and believe it or not, we are not a nation of thugs.

Smacking kids ISN'T about violence, it's about teaching them that something is wrong. Smacking is a perfect example of conditioning. It's classic psychology. Eventually children will learn that doing something wrong equals a smack, so they will stop being naughty. Young children don't automatically know what is right and wrong, it's something that they have to learn. IMHO smacking is a fast and effective way of them learning.

As a kid, if my mum had sat me down each time I was bad and said to me 'look Kate, that was very naughty, don't do it again' I'd have completely ignored her and just done it again. Kids need the association between crime and punishment to stop them misbehaving. Ok, other punishments like no TV etc. may work, but smacking is far more effective because it's a punishment that is instigated straight away and is highly embarassing, especially if you're in public.

Completely agree

It works, i have smacked my niece once b4 - it didnt hurt anything but her pride - she now knows if she's naughty like that again and i ask her to stop it might not work - if i ask her to stop again and tell her if she doesnt then i will smack her bottom she reacts immediatly and behaves, i only did it once but it worked.

 

[theleg]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
You become what you are taught is a well known saying. What's the point in having a well behaved child who's been brought up in a smacking environment if that child's life has been changed according to the wishes of it's parent? The child itself is not it's true self, but a reflection of the parent. Most parents try and model their kids on themselves rather than allow them to develope their own characters and personas.

The exact same argument applies to someone who disciplines their child in any way whatsoever...In fact, it applies to any parent who has any interaction with their child whatsoever..

Sitting the kid on your knee and explaining what he did wrong does exactly the same thing, moulds the kid into the image you want.

 

[silverpaw]

No, I think because my dad's parents were somewhat heavy handed when he was young. I don't think it necessary, it seems like a move done by a parent who has no real control or influence on their child's behaviour.

 

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

Originally posted by Lostkat
I was smacked as a child for misbehaving, but it was the sheer humiliation of being smacked that made me cry, not the pain. It was only ever a slap on the bum or the back of the legs and never ACTUALLY hurt. It was only ever used as a last resort, and I don't blame my parents for smacking me cos I was a little madam at times

I don't think there is anything wrong with smacking a child at all. However, there is a clear distinction between smacking and hitting. Hitting a child is WRONG. If they show any sign of real pain or bruise then it's too far. For me, the definition of a 'smack' is a little slap on the bum or legs designed to shock/embarass more than hurt.

Spot on.

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by Balddog
The exact same argument applies to someone who disciplines their child in any way whatsoever...In fact, it applies to any parent who has any interaction with their child whatsoever..

Sitting the kid on your knee and explaining what he did wrong does exactly the same thing, moulds the kid into the image you want.

That's not what I meant, sir. I mean there are parents who want Jolly Old Johnnie to follow in their exact same footprint and mould them according to their perception of reality, rather than just teaching a child the difference between right and wrong and allowing him to grow up in his own image, rather than their own. This, too, is widespread and an accepted norm.

We all dream of Nirvanah, where violence simply doesn't exist. The only way to such an existence is to stop smacking kids and therefore teaching them violence. It's not an accident that many children resort to bullying in school. Violence, which would include continual light smacks teaches a child violence, surely?

 

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
Violence, which would include continual light smacks teaches a child violence, surely?

No.

A child is taught violence by seeing other people fighting more than a smack would. That also depends on who the person is. Some people think it is 'cool' to be violent. Others like me, who were smacked as a child don't, as we don't encourage it.

I would have thought that the majority of bullies are children who see their mum and dad fighting a lot or live in areas where fighting is the norm.

If light smacks on the arse encouraged violence then we would be in a country torn apart by now, seeing as canes were used in schools when children stepped out of line, no?

 

[Slime101]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
That's not what I meant, sir. I mean there are parents who want Jolly Old Johnnie to follow in their exact same footprint and mould them according to their perception of reality, rather than just teaching a child the difference between right and wrong and allowing him to grow up in his own image, rather than their own. This, too, is widespread and an accepted norm.

We all dream of Nirvanah, where violence simply doesn't exist. The only way to such an existence is to stop smacking kids and therefore teaching them violence. It's not an accident that many children resort to bullying in school. Violence, which would include continual light smacks teaches a child violence, surely?

I dont think that continual light smacks is what we are talking about here - its the occasional, nessecary smack for an act which is best suited to this discipline, not for spilling a drink *smack* or teasing the dog *smack* for which its not nessecary, its the times when it is needed - they are few and far between, they dont promote violence or make the child violent. If they do then there is something seriously wrong in the home life in genral.

 

[theleg]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
That's not what I meant, sir. I mean there are parents who want Jolly Old Johnnie to follow in their exact same footprint and mould them according to their perception of reality, rather than just teaching a child the difference between right and wrong and allowing him to grow up in his own image, rather than their own. This, too, is widespread and an accepted norm.

Ah gotcha....That applies to parents in general, not specifically those that smack..

 

[Davey_Pitch]

Option 4 for me, it didn't harm me and I certainly turned out okay.


Wibble.

 

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
That's not what I meant, sir. I mean there are parents who want Jolly Old Johnnie to follow in their exact same footprint and mould them according to their perception of reality, rather than just teaching a child the difference between right and wrong and allowing him to grow up in his own image, rather than their own. This, too, is widespread and an accepted norm.

EH?? I really don't understand your argument in the slightest Beaky. Are you saying that if my dad didn't want me to do a-levels or go to uni, and become a photographer like him, then he'd resort to violence?? what? Can you reword this? I really honestly don't understand what you're trying to say.

Smacking is a form of discipline, to teach what is right or wrong, not mould your child into whatever you want them to be. Are you saying that it's better to not smack a child and let him become a criminal, mugging old ladies and robbing banks, rather than scolding him lightly when he's little so he actually LEARNS that you shouldn't misbehave?

 

[astralcars]

No 4

Smacking has not had any bad effects either me or my sisters. If a child simply refuses to sit down and listen to a parent, then a gentle smack may be the only option. Problems arise when a child won't respond to a well administered smack, causing parents to resort to proper beatings. I really don't think a parent's right to discipline a child should be taken away just because a minority take things too far. If parents/future parents were taught how to go about correcting a child in a loving manner we might see less child abuse. A smack is just another tool available to the parent - taking it away will do nothing but increase the number of rude, abusive and undisciplined children in this country.

 

[pamplemoose]

Number 4 for me.

I was smacked as a child, only by my mum, and to this day I have nothing but respect for her. Even now I wouldn't dare swear or yell at my mum. It really annoys me when you see kids turn round and yell abuse at their parents, if the parent in question gave them a good clout they'd learn not to do it.

I certainly haven't grown up hating my parents or anything, imo if used in moderation and in the right circumstances, it's the best way of disciplining children.

 

[JAzz]

Never was smacked as a child coz i was a good boy But it is an effective way. You see kids these days and u can shout all day at them and they will pay no attention to it. How on earth can u get through to them then if they dont listen. At least if they know they will get smacked fear will keep them from doing stupid things

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by Lostkat
EH?? I really don't understand your argument in the slightest Beaky. Are you saying that if my dad didn't want me to do a-levels or go to uni, and become a photographer like him, then he'd resort to violence?? what? Can you reword this? I really honestly don't understand what you're trying to say.

Smacking is a form of discipline, to teach what is right or wrong, not mould your child into whatever you want them to be. Are you saying that it's better to not smack a child and let him become a criminal, mugging old ladies and robbing banks, rather than scolding him lightly when he's little so he actually LEARNS that you shouldn't misbehave?

Nopeski, I'm not generalising on ALL parents, just those that wear the hat, and it is, as I said, more widespread than people think. Some parents mould their children into their own image and demand they be "just like them" because of what they've been taught; they are totally selfish in their ways and want a child which is the exact replica of themselves. Their child realises the dreams and ambitions they could never achieve, hopefully in their eyes. Thus a child is robbed of his "freedom", can never be himself, but merely a reflection of his parent. This, to my mind, is the ultimate sin, to stop a child being the person he really is and modellled on your own reflection, as though a mirror image.

A criminal is not made, he's born. A hardened criminal has been shown to have a brain different from the law abiding community. He sees no wrong in criminal activity. Similarly with a serial killer. All the smacks and insults in the world won't reform these criminals, and neither will imprisonment or the fear of death as recompense for their misdeeds.

There is no harm, like your father, encouraging you to pursue his hobby, but I'm sure he didn't do it under threat of violence or frighten you into it, or demand it of you. There's a difference between encouragement of a young child and moulding and shaping a personality deliberately to suit the need of a parent. We all aspire to be be film stars. Some parents deliberately mould their children to this end to realise their own dreams and ambitions, as an example. It's a sad aspect of the human psyche, and is more widespread than people at first think.

As I stated earlier, if banning smacking a child saves just ONE child from becoming a model of it's insane parent, then that, to me, makes the banning worthwhile. We all deserve to live in freedom, but you cannot be "free" if you are shackled in your parents' image.

 

[Matteh]

i was smacked, never did me any harm at all, and i think that used in the correct situation its ok.

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by astralcars
No 4

Smacking has not had any bad effects either me or my sisters. If a child simply refuses to sit down and listen to a parent, then a gentle smack may be the only option. Problems arise when a child won't respond to a well administered smack, causing parents to resort to proper beatings. I really don't think a parent's right to discipline a child should be taken away just because a minority take things too far. If parents/future parents were taught how to go about correcting a child in a loving manner we might see less child abuse. A smack is just another tool available to the parent - taking it away will do nothing but increase the number of rude, abusive and undisciplined children in this country.

Consider your words carefully, good sir, and see what you've aspired to. You say "Problems arise when a child won't respond to a well administered smack, causing parents to resort to proper beatings." A "proper beating"? You see how you have introduced the word "proper" into the sentence? I'm sure you don't mean a severe lampooning, but far too many parents view a "proper" beating which causes great grief and change in personality, as being the norm. There is no "proper" beating. A smack is a smack and is violence whichever way you look at it. Even a gentle smack is a form of violence, no matter how hard people may try to gloss it over. Your use of the word "proper" goes to show how well violence towards children is ingrained into society. It's accepted as being normal, but uncaring parents cause their offspring to suffer an enormous amount of grief, believe you me.