What would you do? (relationship)

sansnom said:
I weep for the future....


Are you actually debating whether you want to stay with the "LOVE OF YOUR LIFE" based on whether you get to see what she is like in bed now or after you marry her?



I got news for you mate, everyone was a virgin at one point. Any girls that you have slept with and thought were amazing in bed, were rubbish to begin with.

If she isn't so great, and it's a high likelyhood she won't be, then feel free to teach, explore, learn together to become better at the act.

If you can't even be bothered to do this for the love of your life, frankly you're immature and you don't deserve to have found her so you should step aside and let someone else sweep her off her feet, she deserves it.

It's honestly no wonder why I hear from women all the time "Oh it's so hard to find a good man these days". That's cause all our young men seem to be obsessed with sex.
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What a load of crap. Women who say 'it's so hard to find a good man nowadays' are the ones who sleep with Mr Nasty. They 'say' they want a good man and some do but there is a vast majority of them out there who just go for the 'bad boy' image. They know they're going to get hurt yet go for it anyway.

Whether you like it or not sex is part of a relationship - we're not all going backwards to the day when you asked for peoples hand in marriage, attended the church every Sunday, etc, etc.



M.
 
aardvark said:
yep. sex is important, lets not behave like it isn't. its your girlfriend thats being selfish and her narrow minded religious beliefs will only come back and bite you later on in life - get out while you can, you will find another 'love of your life'.
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While that is a rather harsh way of putting it, I agree that the differing beliefs could be an issue. After all, if she takes her faith as seriously as she appears to then she is pretty much duty bound to bring the op to God.
 
m4cc45 said:
What a load of crap. Women who say 'it's so hard to find a good man nowadays' are the ones who sleep with Mr Nasty. They 'say' they want a good man and some do but there is a vast majority of them out there who just go for the 'bad boy' image. They know they're going to get hurt yet go for it anyway.
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Generalise much?

m4cc45 said:
Whether you like it or not sex is part of a relationship - we're not all going backwards to the day when you asked for peoples hand in marriage, attended the church every Sunday, etc, etc.



M.
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Whatever. Some of us do go to church every sunday, and do believe in no sex before marriage, and do ask for hands in marriage. It sounds like this girl plays by those rules, and the op is not going to do anyone any favours if he tries to get around that.
 
vonhelmet said:
While that is a rather harsh way of putting it, I agree that the differing beliefs could be an issue. After all, if she takes her faith as seriously as she appears to then she is pretty much duty bound to bring the op to God.
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true but what happens if she discovers that she doesn't particularly like sex and has a low sex drive??
a marriage where one person has a high sex drive and the other has a low sex drive will not last.
 
vonhelmet said:
Generalise much?



Whatever. Some of us do go to church every sunday, and do believe in no sex before marriage, and do ask for hands in marriage. It sounds like this girl plays by those rules, and the op is not going to do anyone any favours if he tries to get around that.
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Yes I generalise because that's real life. Statistically there are more people who don't do the things mentioned above than do. You say rules - it shouldn't be rules but how they feel that decides this that's the worst thing I hear that you need rules to live by, rules to go out with a person, rules to attend church, rules to go about your day to day live. Being advised by a person who hasn't had sex on how to have sex, being advised how to live your life by someone with no life experience. Can we not think for ourselves?

How would you feel if you were enaged to this person then found out later she had been sleeping around?

The OP needs to decide what he wants and how he feels rather than getting entwined in something he doesn't sound happy about. If he's not happy about it now then in several months time it's going to be even worse. Especially if someone come's on to him.


M.
 
I'd probably get rid of her unless she was open minded in other ways. I think that following a religion 100% is the workings of a delusional mindset.

:p

*Waits for retaliation* Although I'm not being ignorant merely stating my opinion, other academic studies think so to.
 
rexehuk said:
I'd probably get rid of her unless she was open minded in other ways. I think that following a religion 100% is the workings of a delusional mindset.

:p

*Waits for retaliation* Although I'm not being ignorant merely stating my opinion, other academic studies think so to.
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Academic studies show that people strictly following a religion are delusional? I'd love to see those studies...
 
Bit of a tough one. Sexual compatability is important to most people but I believe a relationship shouldn't be based upon it as it'll just be destined to fail if the focus is on sex itself.

Spending time with said person, not getting bored, having fun and enjoying yourself without sex should all be achievable. If it is then you're onto a winner and sex would be the cherry on the top.

You should be able to get a feel/idea of what the other person is like by the characteristics of their intimacy with you, without having had sex.
 
m4cc45 said:
Yes I generalise because that's real life.
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Actually the generalisation I was talking about was where you said that women claim to want nice men, but actually want to sleep with bad boys. That was a generalisation.

m4cc45 said:
Statistically there are more people who don't do the things mentioned above than do.
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I know. That's why I said that "some of us" do those things.

m4cc45 said:
You say rules - it shouldn't be rules but how they feel that decides this that's the worst thing I hear that you need rules to live by, rules to go out with a person, rules to attend church, rules to go about your day to day live.
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We all live by rules of some kind or other.

m4cc45 said:
Being advised by a person who hasn't had sex on how to have sex, being advised how to live your life by someone with no life experience.
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What? Which Christians get advice on sex from people who've never had sex? Which Christians get advice on life from people with no life experience? I'm really not sure what you're getting at.

m4cc45 said:
Can we not think for ourselves?
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Um... Yes?

m4cc45 said:
How would you feel if you were enaged to this person then found out later she had been sleeping around?
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Right, this officially makes no sense. Do you mean you'd suspect that a fiancee who claimed not to believe in sex before marriage is actually sleeping with someone else? That's insane. Surely you'd fear the same thing even if you were sleeping with them?

m4cc45 said:
The OP needs to decide what he wants and how he feels rather than getting entwined in something he doesn't sound happy about. If he's not happy about it now then in several months time it's going to be even worse.
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That's exactly what I said. A more cynical man than I might suspect that you want to disagree with me at every turn just because you disagree with my wider beliefs.

m4cc45 said:
Especially if someone come's on to him.
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So he knows whether it's worth jumping ship at the drop of a hat? Great.
 
Pestilence said:
One up the bum, no harm done.
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Can you honestly say that comments like this are family-friendly? Christ, what the hell is up with the rules of this forum nowadays? People get into trouble for breaking signature rules, but comments like this are allowed? Right...
 
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