What would you do?

[Shayper]

Worst "alternative to changing your facebook status to 'it's complicated' thread" ever.

There was me thinking you had been trying to help...

You both need to grow up, not just her.

Having a word with her isn't going to change a thing, if thats how she treats you then don't expect a simple talking to is going to change that.

I would tell her to stop getting in touch with you, since she isn't treating you as a friend, why would you want to treat her as one?

But I don't expect you to do this since you're clearly a doormat to be walked all over, otherwise you wouldn't have let things get so far.

Excuse me? Have you read both the op and the following comments? Exactly why do I need to grow up? It's only recently that she has been treating me like this, before that she was fine, and I thought that I had made that clear. I would much rather try and give her a kick up the **** than not make an effort and make things really **** for me and my mates on a night out. Sorry for the abruptness of this reply, but there are a few people completely missing the point.

Ah yea that's a bit more difficult. I'd try and back off a bit if possible, no phoning, texting and when with mutual friends enjoy yourself and let her do what she wants without worrying about her. If she comes crying to you either just be blunt with her or have an excuse handy, you've got your own relationship and life to worry about. She'll soon get the hint hopefully. Easier said than done though, definitely a tricky situation!

Thanks for the advice, that's what I was thinking, but wasn't entirely sure about

 

[.Lethal]

Excuse me? Have you read both the op and the following comments? Exactly why do I need to grow up? It's only recently that she has been treating me like this, before that she was fine, and I thought that I had made that clear. I would much rather try and give her a kick up the **** than not make an effort and make things really **** for me and my mates on a night out. Sorry for the abruptness of this reply, but there are a few people completely missing the point.

Look you asked for what we think.

You're allowing someone to treat you like a piece of **** so what would you expect people to say in GD? It doesn't matter if she recently did it or had been doing it for years, you didn't do anything about it!

If somebody was doing that to me on a night out I would put an end to it there and then, and your other pals would side with you if they were aware of what was going on.

When you say you would rather not make things **** for you on a night out, you made them worse by doing nothing. Otherwise you wouldn't be making this thread and instead would have earned yourself some self respect.

 

[KaHn]

So, GD, what would you do in this situation? I'm thinking about calling her up tomorrow and explaining just how ****ed off I am with her, and telling her that if she is not going to appreciate just how good a friend I am to her, then she can go **** off.

But in my opinion you are not being a good friend as you put it, you are trying to nail her in so many words and being nice to her is your way of trying to get it.

She's being a **** and typically immature of young girls who know they have someone to fall back on for the emotional stuff.

If it was me I'd either decide that shes not for you (which obviously is the case as shes a grade A retard) and just have her as a friend if you get on well with her or tell her to **** off and find someone who isn't such an emotional vampire that she comes to you for affection while going with other retards.

Sorry if this seems a bit blunt, its late and I'm at work and not in a very "caring" mood to rose tint my post for you

KaHn

/edit :- read Zefan post and your reply which is pretty much the same view as mine, get rid if shes just a tard

 

[Shayper]

Look you asked for what we think.

You're allowing someone to treat you like a piece of **** so what would you expect people to say in GD? It doesn't matter if she recently did it or had been doing it for years, you didn't do anything about it!

If somebody was doing that to me on a night out I would put an end to it there and then, and your other pals would side with you if they were aware of what was going on.

When you say you would rather not make things **** for you on a night out, you made them worse by doing nothing. Otherwise you wouldn't be making this thread and instead would have earned yourself some self respect.

I understand where you are coming from, however as I said you should have read my earlier posts. I'm not really that great with social issues like this, due to Asbergers, which as I said have been statemented with, so I was looking for some advice in what to do on the situation, not comments on how badly I have handled the situation. I'm well aware of that.

But in my opinion you are not being a good friend as you put it, you are trying to nail her in so many words and being nice to her is your way of trying to get it.

She's being a **** and typically immature of young girls who know they have someone to fall back on for the emotional stuff.

If it was me I'd either decide that shes not for you (which obviously is the case as shes a grade A retard) and just have her as a friend if you get on well with her or tell her to **** off and find someone who isn't such an emotional vampire that she comes to you for affection while going with other retards.

Sorry if this seems a bit blunt, its late and I'm at work and not in a very "caring" mood to rose tint my post for you

KaHn

/edit :- read Zefan post and your reply which is pretty much the same view as mine, get rid if shes just a tard

As I said, I'm not looking to have sex with her. I just want her to understand how much of a ***** she is being, and if that doesn't work, I will end the friendship. And I can see due from your edit you understand that

 

[^TANK^]

Seems like you have one of these on your hands............

To be honest with you, you're letting her take the **** out of you! Tell her tactfully to only contact you again when she has reached a higher level of maturity.

 

[kevy1986]

WOW, Shaper why dont put on some Marlin Manson n just go for it !

 

[KaHn]

As I said, I'm not looking to have sex with her. I just want her to understand how much of a ***** she is being, and if that doesn't work, I will end the friendship. And I can see due from your edit you understand that

Well your first post led me (and others) to believe that you have feelings for her of that nature, regardless if you are "sort of seeing someone", but if you just want a totally platonic relationship and shes still being a tard them just get rid, don't even give her the satisfaction of a confrotation, just phone off, ignore, be happy.

KaHn

 

[TNGL]

Just delete her off of Facebook, bro... just delete her... I know it may be hard (that's what she said)... but just delete her.

 

[.Lethal]

I understand where you are coming from, however as I said you should have read my earlier posts. I'm not really that great with social issues like this, due to Asbergers, which as I said have been statemented with, so I was looking for some advice in what to do on the situation, not comments on how badly I have handled the situation. I'm well aware of that.

I'm not trying to say how badly you handled it, although I'm aware that I did point that out.

What I'm trying to say is to not bother with her at all, at least, as your thread title says "what would you do?" - is what I would do.

She doesn't deserve your friendship IMO.

 

[Shayper]

Just delete her off of Facebook, bro... just delete her... I know it may be hard (that's what she said)... but just delete her.

I'll see how tomorrow goes, and maybe follow your advice, thanks.

I'm not trying to say how badly you handled it, although I'm aware that I did point that out.

What I'm trying to say is to not bother with her at all, at least, as your thread title says "what would you do?" - is what I would do.

She doesn't deserve your friendship IMO.

Ah, I see where you are coming from now . I guess I am a bit if a doormat, because I am willing to give her one last chance. I have a feeling tomorrow will end badly, but I still want to try.

Seems like you have one of these on your hands............

To be honest with you, you're letting her take the **** out of you! Tell her tactfully to only contact you again when she has reached a higher level of maturity.

I will include this in the conversation, thankyou

WOW, Shaper why dont put on some Marlin Manson n just go for it !

Fantastic, well thought out post. You even spelled my name right.

Besides, I hate rock. Dubstep is where it's at.

Well your first post led me (and others) to believe that you have feelings for her of that nature, regardless if you are "sort of seeing someone", but if you just want a totally platonic relationship and shes still being a tard them just get rid, don't even give her the satisfaction of a confrotation, just phone off, ignore, be happy.

KaHn

Thanks dude didn't realise I had worded my post like that, guess it made sense for me in my head but rereading it it does sort of convey that message

 

[Nitefly]

Pah, 'don't want to sleep with her any more..... '

If you've ever felt like that about a girl or nearly slept with her there is always going to be that sexual element there to some degree, even if subconscious.

I have a bit of a Yosarian way of women since reading Catch-22. You can dress it up any way you want but 99% of all female friendships have some sexual undertone or some base level of attraction. And when friends say they wouldn't sleep with each other if they could get away with it, my feeling is that if life let you do a groundhog day and reset everything, they probably would.

 

[Freefaller]

Sounds like she wants to take and not offer anything in return (friendship) and you're willing to sacrifice your time and effort for her regardless. It's an honourable way to be for that you should be proud of yourself

However it seems to me as though she doesn't appreciate how much you do for her or the effort you put in to put a "virtual" hand around her when she needs support.

You have to evaluate the friendship... is it worth holding onto something that's causing you pain or aggravation? I know sometimes it's hard to cut ties, or to put distance between yourself and someone you care about.

Ultimately you have to look after #1 - and she's causing you hell, and tormenting you. I'd walk away. She'll come crying back and then you can lay your cards on the table and tell her how you feel, what she's done and what you'd expect from a friendship.

Sometimes walking away hurts, but then the weight lifts from your shoulders and it's the best thing ever.

Love (and by that it doesn't mean "in love" I mean friendship too, or just the loving nature by which you are), can be confusing and painfully melancholic.

Good luck matey, hope you get it sorted.

 

[SeraphX]

Tell her to do one, i had a friend kinda similar to that, total nightmare, also you need to grow a pair

 

[Cocky-Roach]

Tell her your friendship isn't working out so you don't want to hang out with her anymore.

This tbh, you will soon realise if she wants u as a friend or not.

 

[Shayper]

Pah, 'don't want to sleep with her any more..... '

If you've ever felt like that about a girl or nearly slept with her there is always going to be that sexual element there to some degree, even if subconscious.

I have a bit of a Yosarian way of women since reading Catch-22. You can dress it up any way you want but 99% of all female friendships have some sexual undertone or some base level of attraction. And when friends say they wouldn't sleep with each other if they could get away with it, my feeling is that if life let you do a groundhog day and reset everything, they probably would.

Okay, obviously being male I wouldn't mind sleeping with anyone attractive, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her.

Good post

Sounds like she wants to take and not offer anything in return (friendship) and you're willing to sacrifice your time and effort for her regardless. It's an honourable way to be for that you should be proud of yourself

However it seems to me as though she doesn't appreciate how much you do for her or the effort you put in to put a "virtual" hand around her when she needs support.

You have to evaluate the friendship... is it worth holding onto something that's causing you pain or aggravation? I know sometimes it's hard to cut ties, or to put distance between yourself and someone you care about.

Ultimately you have to look after #1 - and she's causing you hell, and tormenting you. I'd walk away. She'll come crying back and then you can lay your cards on the table and tell her how you feel, what she's done and what you'd expect from a friendship.

Sometimes walking away hurts, but then the weight lifts from your shoulders and it's the best thing ever.

Love (and by that it doesn't mean "in love" I mean friendship too, or just the loving nature by which you are), can be confusing and painfully melancholic.

Good luck matey, hope you get it sorted.

I know what you mean . A lot of the time I'm called the nice guy, and it's worked for a lot of friendships, relationships and the odd friend with benefits. However I do get some people who take advantage, and I don't realise till it gets to this point. I guess walking away is the best plan.

Tell her to do one, i had a friend kinda similar to that, total nightmare, also you need to grow a pair

I'd rather be a gentleman (whilst still being a bit of a lad, it's a good combination ) and be screwed over once or twice, than be a total **** and not have any friendships or relationships that are real and regret it my whole life. However you are right, I do need to learn to deal with stuff like this, and it's always nice to hear other people's views .

I'm in a much better mood now, the girl I've been seeing just came round and cooked me a fry up totally off the bat. I believe that is a win .

However, I will still be calling Erika and explaining things to her. It needs to happen for my sake and hers.

 

[Robbo]

Besides, I hate rock. Dubstep is where it's at.

Sounds like you have bigger problems than this stupid tart.

Oh, that's precisely what she is, a tart. Find some better friends.

 

[Shayper]

Sounds like you have bigger problems than this stupid tart.

Oh, that's precisely what she is, a tart. Find some better friends.

Harrr harrr

And that is a problem, a lot of my really good friends are mutual friends with her, as I've said, and if they go out she usually does, even though they are getting annoyed at it too.

 

[Robbo]

Harrr harrr

And that is a problem, a lot of my really good friends are mutual friends with her, as I've said, and if they go out she usually does, even though they are getting annoyed at it too.

I'd sit her down and have a rage at her then. Make sure she understands what you're thinking and tell her you expect her to behave better, or else.

 

[Shayper]

I'd sit her down and have a rage at her then. Make sure she understands what you're thinking and tell her you expect her to behave better, or else.

That's the plan

 

[Robbo]

That's the plan

Jolly good show!