What's your most embarrasing moment - ever!

At a wedding reception a good few years ago, after a fair quantity of ale was quaffed, the obligatory joke telling session started. I told a particularly unsavoury one about the hunchback of notre dame. Afterwards, the guy second one my left got up to get a round in, and guess what, he had a hunchback! To say I felt about 3" tall and VERY awkward was an understatement.
 
I got into a fight with a guy in a wheelchair.

I'm backing my van into a yard, guy in wheelchair is nowhere to be seen, so im backing in, out from round the corner of the fence on one side of the yard, guy in wheelchair appears, and starts wheeling his way behind the truck so i stop to let him past, he goes past one mirror, and doenst come past the other.
So bear in mind, im blocking the traffic off having had to swing out in the road to back in to this yard, im getting beeps from people who cant see the fact ive got the most awkward wheelie in the world behind me, i give it a few more seconds, he doesnt come out from behind me, so i get out and walk round the back of the truck to see this **** just sat behind the wagon.
"WTF are you doing?" i enquired.
"You nearly ran me over, there why didnt you give way"
"What? you werent even on the ******* pavement when i started moving, by all rights you should have given way to me when you came round the corner"
"dont you shout at me"
"I have not got time for this, im blocking the traffic, get out the way, or ill move you myself"
"you'll do no such thing, im sitting here till you apologise"
So i wheel him off with him screaming and shouting at the top of his lungs, people are staring and pointing, cars are beeping, people are shouting to get out the way, he's trying to stop the wheels going round...

So in a moment im not particularly proud of and am highly embarresed about, i got in front of his wheelchair and told him if he didnt STFU and sling his hook, i'd kick his teeth out of his head.

Not my finest moment.
 
my most embarrasing moment.

was in high school, in 2nd or 3rd year, was a wintery morning, very frosty and ice everywhere, got off the bus with my sister and as soon as i stepped off the bus, slip and on my butt. the bus driver just sat there watching, i scrambled to get up in embarrasment with an entire full double decker bus watching me, and as i try to get up, i slip again. everybody just keeps on watching, a few kids laughing on the upper deck, and as i try to get up again, yup, slip and back on my butt. i finally managed to crawl off the ice and stand up properly, didnt help that my sis just stood there watching and laughing, not even trying to help :(

oh yeh, and the bus was there the WHOLE time, just sat there, watching, no-one getting off or getting on, and as soon as i got up the bus drove away with everyone staring back at me.
 
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My Grandma caught me shocking off when I was fourteen.

That's not so strange until you realise that due to us moving house we were staying at Nan's and I was sharing her bed. :eek: I woke up in the middle of the night and HAD to knock one out, and thought I could do it without disturbing her.

Big mistake :o :D
 
Few years ago whilst in sixth form, i casually walked into a packed common room, and noticed a free chair, unusual i thought as the room was filled with about 80 mixed up people. I walk over to it and made the mistake of not wrapping my ankle around the chair leg ( a mistake not often made by school-ites ).

Of course a so called mate proceeded to pull the chair away from me as i sat down and I end up flat on my back, with the full 2 years of sixth form including several other schools sixth forms (we were part of a consortium) staring pointing and laughing. I turn the colour of a beetroot.
 
Hmmm, Only one srpinging to mind atm was at my graduation. In my excitement to walk across the stage, shake the dudes hand and get my certificate I didnt watch what everyone else was doing before me. We were the 1st group of people to be called onto the stage and therfore the 1st to walk across it. I walked across, down the stairs and back towards my seat and a staff member came up to me and said you should have walked through the door on the oposite side of the stage :D So I thought a what a tit I am lol and went back up the stairs and through the door where much to my amusement there was a woman handing out certificates frantically pannicing saying "wheres MarkyMark (insert real name here ;))" over and over. I kinda screwed up the sequential order of people collecting their certificates and caused a bit of a panic :D lol ah well...........

EDIT: One we've probably all done is shouted out to someone we thought was someone else :D When Back at college I thought I saw this girl I hadn't seen for ages and so was really excited to see her as I didnt even know she went my college. I was with one of my mates when I shouted out her name "Lindsay........long time no see" and she looked over at me but didnt come over lol. I was like "Lindsay.............how you been" and then her boyfriend stood up with her and I realised it wasnt her lol. He looked really miffed too lol.
 
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ElvisFan said:
My Grandma caught me shocking off when I was fourteen.

That's not so strange until you realise that due to us moving house we were staying at Nan's and I was sharing her bed. :eek: I woke up in the middle of the night and HAD to knock one out, and thought I could do it without disturbing her.

Big mistake :o :D
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Oh god....you posted this before didnt you and I nearly had a seizure then too! This post needs a health warning!!
 
davebax22 said:
i was on a mini bus on the way back from a rugby game and passed a group of girls one of which was quite large and turned to one of the lads " i wouldnt do that with yours" you guess the rest, he didnt find it funny but the bus was in fits.
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What?
 
AndyBorzi said:
I know you won't believe me but a friend of mine told me this story:

He was in his bedroom, enjoying himself, laid out on his bed, eyes closed & a box of tissues next to him.

When he had finished he opened his eyes to see a hot cup of tea sitting on the bedside cabinet that his mum had brought to him a minute or so earlier!! :o :eek:

Again I say....it wasn't me!!!
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That's rubbish. It's such an old story, even Ricky Gervais used it in his stand up!
 
Probably not the most embarassing compared to some previous...

I worked in a nightclub in Plymouth while I was at uni. We had a big bin behind the bar that filled up pretty quickly with bottles and other rubbish which had to be dragged across the main room to the back door.

Saturday night, couple of hundred people packed into the club and I tip the damn thing over in the middle of everyone to raptuous applause and cheers. Bottles and rubbish go everywhere and I have to clear the lot up while everyone forms a ring around the blast area to let me get on with it.
 
When I was in middle school a few mates and I were chatting in a lesson and getting a bit carried away and I said (for reasons I cannot remember) ......

I'm not even going to put what I said but it was in INCREDIBLY bad taste (more so because it was a bit close to home for the girl opposite me).

Needless to say I have never, nor will be again, be more embarrassed or ashamed in my entire life.
 
I had a good one on a plane last year. I thought the door automatically locked when you shut it. I was halfway through my dump when the door opened and about 7 people were staring at me. I just smiled and said 'hello'.

My fave was a couple of years ago on the Potteries Shopping Centre car park. You are given a yellow token when you go in and then you put it in a machine, pay your money and it gives it you back.
I was approaching the machines when I heard a commotion going on and a bloke was kicking the machine and screaming at it. A crowd had gathered and he was talking to an assistant on the other end of a walkie talkie thats built into the machine. The assistant was telling him not to damage the machine and security were being sent.
At this point I walked up to the machine next to his to get my token done. I asked him if he was having trouble to which he replied 'This ****** ****** ***** machine has knicked my ******* ****** token' etc. I then pointed at the machine and asked him if he'd put his £1 in that it was asking for.
Lets say he was slightly embarassed and security were calling the cops because of the damage to the machine.

Read the instrucions kids.
 
ElvisFan said:
My Grandma caught me shocking off when I was fourteen.

That's not so strange until you realise that due to us moving house we were staying at Nan's and I was sharing her bed. :eek: I woke up in the middle of the night and HAD to knock one out, and thought I could do it without disturbing her.

Big mistake
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The W1N0R!!! :D

Remember the first time you posted that story, it was worded better too. :D
did she turn over and yell something like "You dirty git!" or something :D
 
I've had my fair share of embarrasing incidents but this by far was the one incident during which I wished I was dead.

3 years ago I was out with my dad and a few of his mates hunting rabbits with our dogs and a couple of ferrets. We were in a field in the middle of nowhere and after a few catches the adrenaline had gotten the better of me and I really had to do a poop. I told the others I was away for a crap and went around the back of a hedge where I squatted and began to do my business. Now, sods law meant that it wasn't a standard solid poop, it had to be of the messiest variety.
So there I was crapping away when I hear one of the guys shout "GRAB THAT FERRETT!" I looked around to see what was happening when the white ferrett came bolting through the hedge. It startled me and I panicked. I got up whilst making a "Whohwohwohhowo" noise, trousers around my ankles, crap running down my legs and fell over a smaller hedge that was to the side of me.. At the other side of the hedge was a farmers garden which was set at a lower level to the field so I had quite a fall.
At this point I must mention that it was a lovely warm Sunday, the kind of day you sit out your back garden with a few beers. That's what the farmers family was doing when I came crashing over their hedge, shouting "Whowhwohowhoh", trousers around my ankles, willy hanging out and crap running down my legs. I stared at the group of people for what felt like 20 minutes after which I casually pulled up my trousers and waddled out of their garden the long way. No words were exchanged and I didn't hear anyone speak when I was on my way out. I suppose they were shocked.

That was probably the lowest moment of my life and I still cringe when thinking about it but it raises a smile too.
 
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