woke up this morning wanting to die

[Guerrilla]

Sorry to read that matdom

I would agree with some who have already posted that it may help to have something positive to focus on.
I think many, many people get down but some find it easier to get out of the slump than others, if you are really struggling to feel any better it might be worth having another talk with your GP and giving the medication a try, it might be able to take the edge off your anxiety and put a more positive spin on things.

 

[ikillbears]

Could be worse. I woke up with Tragedy by Steps in my head.

on a serious note. ive basically been where you are but at a younger age. go to a doc. not giving medical advice but pills may help you. they did me. as you rightly say. it doesn't solve the problem. thats not what they are intended to do. the intention is to help you get to a place where you can then solve the problem. to lower anxiety and day to day issues so you can find help and want help. trust. it works.

now back to steps!

 

[cheesyboy]

the problem I cant, I wake up grasping for air in the mornings, my anxiety levels are high when I wake up.
I know I'm lucky in some areas, but some how my brain does not see it.

Need to see a doctor, really.

Medication might be needed - messed up serotonin levels or whatever can spark anxiety.

Lifestyle factors are worth looking at, to help with general happiness, but those aren't necessarily what's causing the anxiety - other than being out of work perhaps, since that lack of a structure, and perhaps lack of contact with other people can increase feeling of isolation.

 

[tom_e]

Already seem my GP,but typical no help here take these, the NHS mental health services seems to be pretty poor in this area.

See a different GP then and keep going until you find one willing to help.

I've got a friend who came close to ending it multiple times early last year, luckily with some gentle nudging she went to see her GP.
Yes they gave her drugs which in the short term helped massively, but more importantly they sorted her some counselling sessions for the longer term fix.

It's the combination of both that dragged her out of that hole, without the quick fix from the drugs she never would have seen the positives in going along to her counselling sessions.

Spending the rest of your days rattling like a pill bottle isn't the answer but don't dismiss the short term benefits which can lead to a happier place in the long term.

 

[Mr_Moose]

Already seem my GP,but typical no help here take these, the NHS mental health services seems to be pretty poor in this area.

Have you tried local services or charities out with the NHS? They may offer reduced rates due to you being out of work at the moment or they may be completely free. Living in a city like London I would imagine there would be something somewhere.

 

[robfosters]

I'm 34. I can't work due to disability, I am single, I have no kids, have nothing really. The thing that keeps me going is the thought that one day, I will have a heart transplant that will make me fit and healthy for the first time in my life. However, every time I feel sorry for myself, I take solace in the sad fact that there are people out there far worse off than me.

You don't need any operation, you are fit and healthy and the world is out there waiting for you to do something about it. If I was you, I would get a job, save as much money as poss and see the world. Don't get hung up about being 40, not married and no kids. Many happy people are.

 

[dowie]

Tried to join meetups but my social skills when I feel like this are crap, seem to talk about negative things.

language exchange could be good to start with then, chat to people online or via e-mail/social media... if they're trying to improve their English and you're trying to learn their language then your initial issue with social skills isn't necessarily going to be picked up on...

might be worth seeing a different GP - plenty of GPs will prescribe stuff for anxiety etc.. then again maybe you can ask to be referred for counseling instead - maybe try and avoid having to take medication for it

 

[UTmaniac]

I turned 40, then thought OMG where has my life gone? 3 days later, I had a pretty nasty RTA accident while cycling and felt lucky to be alive.

The past is history, there is no point in dwelling on it, simply use any mistakes as a learning curve to improve things in the future.

 

[vanandjuanunited]

Volunteer, join groups to meet new people and open up new avenues.
See Dr get help.
Enjoy life.

 

[Ilikeitblackplease]

See a different GP then and keep going until you find one willing to help.

I've got a friend who came close to ending it multiple times early last year, luckily with some gentle nudging she went to see her GP.
Yes they gave her drugs which in the short term helped massively, but more importantly they sorted her some counselling sessions for the longer term fix.

It's the combination of both that dragged her out of that hole, without the quick fix from the drugs she never would have seen the positives in going along to her counselling sessions.

Spending the rest of your days rattling like a pill bottle isn't the answer but don't dismiss the short term benefits which can lead to a happier place in the long term.

I went to my local mental health team and was told that the waiting list is long over a year, I feel I don't have that time to waste, I'd like to carry on with my life.
I just can't explain it, but just feel unhappy and I cry, I should not feel this way but I do. I have nice stuff at home, live in central London the nice part but somehow I feel low, I feel like I'm a failure in life, I going to get old and die alone, a few times Ive thought I'd just hang myself on the banister.

 

[Danthus]

You know what OP, don't be like me and spend years worrying about what others think and what happens if you fail and then telling other people you have failed.. It just holds you back.

So whatever your dream, give it a go, you never know, it may just come to fruition!

 

[The Dread Pirate]

I suffer form this existential crisis from time to time fortuantely I have a very short attention span so usually before I get too depre... Oh a Butterfly!

 

[FinglisHobbit]

Maybe take a huge life changing step.

Sellup things in London and go for a more relaxed life somewhere more Northern

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

I went to my local mental health team and was told that the waiting list is long over a year, I feel I don't have that time to waste, I'd like to carry on with my life.
I just can't explain it, but just feel unhappy and I cry, I should not feel this way but I do. I have nice stuff at home, live in central London the nice part but somehow I feel low, I feel like I'm a failure in life, I going to get old and die alone, a few times Ive thought I'd just hang myself on the banister.

Can you go private and reduce or remove the waiting time?

I highlighted the two contradicting statements which leapt out at me. I know nothing about depression or bipolar disorders but it sounds like you really need to get in front of someone who can help you.

 

[Ilikeitblackplease]

Can you go private and reduce or remove the waiting time?

I highlighted the two contradicting statements which leapt out at me. I know nothing about depression or bipolar disorders but it sounds like you really need to get in front of someone who can help you.

Waiting for the insurance company to see if they it cover me, I should not feel unhappy about as i'm healthy however still feel low and just don't know why I keep thinking of negative thoughts specially in the mornings when I wake up.
My dreams are nasty towards the end.

 

[cheesyboy]

I went to my local mental health team and was told that the waiting list is long over a year, I feel I don't have that time to waste, I'd like to carry on with my life.
I just can't explain it, but just feel unhappy and I cry, I should not feel this way but I do. I have nice stuff at home, live in central London the nice part but somehow I feel low, I feel like I'm a failure in life, I going to get old and die alone, a few times Ive thought I'd just hang myself on the banister.

Really you need to speak to your doctor about all this. Especially mention the suicidal thoughts. He/She will likely prescribe some medication, which would be sensible to accept.

Don't worry unduly about side effects of medication, when the side effects of not taking said medication is major anxiety and possible suicide.

Do that, and get on the waiting list with the mental health team - 1 year quickly becomes 6 months, becomes 2 months and rolls around faster than you think, and you need to kick start things.

Lifestyle changes might be what you need to achieve personal goals, but it's not necessarily going to help loads with your mental health - it doesn't work like that.

 

[Quartz]

Life's too short to spend it regretting the past. Do you have nieces or nephews? My ambition was to be a grand father; that didn't - and won't - happen. Now I'm concentrating on being a great uncle.

 

[Ilikeitblackplease]

Really you need to speak to your doctor about all this. Especially mention the suicidal thoughts. He/She will likely prescribe some medication, which would be sensible to accept.

Don't worry unduly about side effects of medication, when the side effects of not taking said medication is major anxiety and possible suicide.

Do that, and get on the waiting list with the mental health team - 1 year quickly becomes 6 months, becomes 2 months and rolls around faster than you think, and you need to kick start things.

Lifestyle changes might be what you need to achieve personal goals, but it's not necessarily going to help loads with your mental health - it doesn't work like that.

Its pretty bad sometimes, I also keep thinking about losing my parents they are getting old, just think life is so ****ing ****.

 

[psd99]

live while you are happy, for you're a long time dead

Life can be wonderful, concentrate on all of the positive aspects of your life.

You will not always feel this way!

 

[Ilikeitblackplease]

forget the meds, they're not for everyone. I feel, in western society, we're too focused on 'quick fixes', what pill can I take to sort this or that...
Have you considered counselling or group therapy to work through what's going on in your head?

Main focus should be working on your depression, after that the confidence in yourself will grow and the anxiety will start to drop making it easier to meet people.

I know what you're saying about the gym, I joined one years ago as a way to meet people, I ended up just doing my own thing and not really talking to anyone, even the classes didn't help.
Have you thought about other fitness activities? indoor climbing, running club something along those lines?

The gym part like yourself I do my own thing, the classes aren't my thing, thinking about indoor climbing.